


I'm Having Your Baby

by MADZJACOBS



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Louis, Childbirth, Eating Disorders, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Homophobic Language, Infidelity, M/M, Masturbation, Mpreg, Rimming, Surrogacy, Top Harry, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-11 17:04:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 61,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11718702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MADZJACOBS/pseuds/MADZJACOBS
Summary: Five years after One Direction took a hiatus, Harry Styles' personal life is a mess. The multi-faceted entertainer's marriage has fallen apart and he can't put his heart on the line again knowing it will just get broken. So he puts his successful career on hold to become a father. He has always wanted children and maybe having a child of his own will take away some of the loneliness and heartbreak. He really believes that. That is until he walks into the clinic to meet the surrogate who is already eight weeks pregnant with his child. A surrogate with his own past to deal with; one they both need to finally face.





	I'm Having Your Baby

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LouisTwinklinson_Styles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LouisTwinklinson_Styles/gifts).



> This is my first time posting on here, so please be gentle. I volunteered for the HL mpreg fic exchange because I have become a fan fic junkie in my spare time. I love writing and write a lot, just not on here, so I thought I'd give it a try. I'd love your feedback, so let me know what you think. Thanks for reading. 
> 
> And to LouisTwinklinson_Styles I hope you enjoy this. I did my best. I loved the prompts you gave, so I tried to combine two of them into one detailed story... simply because I like longer stories. Let me know how I did.

Harry closes his eyes and sighs at his wife's words. She was standing with a form letter from the clinic in her hands.

 

"It worked. It worked. Harry, did you hear me? Are you listening? It worked. The pregnancy took this time. We are going to have a baby. Well, you are. You finally got your way. Now will you stop threatening me? You get your baby and I get to stay married to one of the world's most famous entertainers without all the inconvenience of a pregnancy. Right? That was the deal."

 

He feels the tears threatening to spill. Defeated, he turns to her and nods. This was definitely not the direction he envisioned his life heading. He wanted to be happy and to share this joyous occasion with the person he loved, the one he would be raising his child with. 

 

"I heard. The doctor actually called me earlier. I didn't think you cared or I would have told you," he said in a calm voice. "I'm supposed to go meet the surrogate next week. That will be the eight week mark. They don't notify us unless they are sure it took, so it looks like it really did work this time. You're off the hook."

 

Emily made a face. She had really taken no initiative or part of the process, so he wasn't planning on discussing the results with her until after he met with the surrogate and signed all the papers. He was the one who filled out all of the medical papers. He was the one who decided on all of the physical characteristics of the desired surrogate. He was the one who donated his sperm and was going to raise this baby on his own because Emily was a selfish gold digger with no desire to have a child. And children were the one thing Harry had left as a bright spot in his future. Harry couldn't wait to have a little bundle of joy to call his own. Someone to love, to give his whole heart to, who would love him back for who he was, not what He had to offer. He finally had given Emily an ultimatum. Either they have a child or they divorce while he was still young enough to hopefully find someone he could find a future with who wasn't after his money and wanted the same things he did. 

 

Harry closes his eyes again, thinking back to when things seemed so much brighter and easier. A time when his future was filled with hope. Sure life in the band was hectic and stressful. The contracts made life hell, especially for Harry and Louis. But they thought they could make it through all of that together. They used their song writing to express their feelings to each other the only public way they could since they were forbidden to even interact most of the time. They thought they had their future planned out with a forever, happily ever after ending. At least Harry thought so. 

 

They had talked about children of their own, even thought Louis was pregnant at one point during the beginning of their last tour. They had both been disappointed when he wasn't, even knowing the problems it would have caused with the tour, their band and with management. Even through that terrible time they had clung to each other and held on. But then it suddenly ended. They weren't holding on any longer. The band, stress, contracts, stunts, it all got to be too much for Lou. He walked away. As soon as the band went on hiatus and they all branched out on their own, they rarely spoke. Hell, they were barely even cordial at industry events in the days and weeks after their final performance. They never even made eye contact when they found themselves attending the same function. That was over five years ago.

 

Johanna, Louis' mum, died five years ago. Harry was there with the others to show his support for both Lou and his family. The family Harry had come to love as his own. The funeral was hell. It was like saying goodbye to his own mum. Louis wouldn't even look at him then. He never even spoke to Harry's mum or sister, who were once like his own family. Louis and Steve debuted their single two days before the funeral and that was it. They never spoke again. It was like Louis dropped off the face of the earth. Like he just disappeared, only leaving their songs and memories behind, along with heartbreak. Harry still had no answers. He didn't have them during the last agonizing eight months together as a band and he still doesn't have them, probably never will. 

 

Harry mostly stayed in touch with Niall and Liam. They congratulated each other on their musical and personal achievements. Number one singles, albums, Liam's marriage and two children, Niall's engagement. They were both there for Harry and Emily's wedding three years ago. None of the three of them ever heard from Louis. Lottie never had his picture on Instagram. She never spoke of him when they happened to run into each other. He was not active on social media. He never even showed up for Lux, and she had grown to see him as a brother, just as she had the others. Lou said he never answered her calls. 

 

About a year after Johanna's death, Harry had received a call from a real estate agent asking if he wanted to buy out Louis' half of their home in London. He thought Lou was still living there. He didn't have the heart to go back, back to where so many private and happy memories lingered. So he told her to go ahead and put it on the market and just give the entire sale price to Louis. He didn't want any part of destroying something so great. He never heard from her again.

 

About eighteen months ago, Harry decided that after two successful solo albums he was ready to cut back on his career and focus on starting his family. It was a year and a half into their marriage. That's when all hell broke loose with Emily. She had always tiptoed around the subject of children, saying they would discuss it when the time came. As Harry looks back he can see her for who and what she is. But a costly and messy divorce is not something he wants to go through. Jeff had advised him to demand a pre-nup, but that is the one thing Harry had refused to listen to Jeff about. Harry believed Emily and thought he believed in her love. As much as he could believe in love with anyone anymore. He wanted it to be forever A divorce now would cost him millions and take away from what he could give his child.

 

Of course his mum and sister hounded him to leave her ever since she said she would absolutely not carry a baby. But Harry really doesn't care at this point. He already lost Louis. He doesn't believe he will ever love like that again. Sure, he believed he loved Emily at first, but it was never that fire and passion he had with Louis, never a best friend, never a feeling like home. Not someone to share so much history with, personal tattoos, such intimate closeness. But he just figured you only get that once in a lifetime and this was as close as he was going to get. Now he sees that she only wanted to be Mrs. Harry Styles. She wanted the fame, the money, the big extravagant wedding with her name splashed in all the papers and magazines. She was the one to land the big ring on her finger and claim him as her prize. She is the woman who reeled him in even after he came out as bisexual and had his choice of whoever he wanted. He had wanted her. He thought he did at one time. Then he opened his eyes just a little too late.

 

Her ultimate dream is to hit it big as an actress and have her own fame. Harry's dream is to move her into her own place, set her up nicely, talk to some people and see if he can help her achieve her goal. Maybe then she will leave him on her own. Lord knows she's a great actress. Then he will be at peace here in his home to raise his child.

 

As Harry was going through all of this in his mind, the thoughts running in all directions, he heard Emily clear her throat and ask him if he was listening to her. 

 

"Um, sorry. What did you say?"

 

"I said that I hope you aren't expecting me to go with you. You know clinics like that make my skin crawl."

 

"Of course not. I wouldn't dream of asking you to even walk into an OB/GYN clinic. After all, they make babies in there," he retorted sarcastically. I didn't have you go with me the first time, I don't want you there now.

 

Emily huffed and stalked off to her room. Technically it was still theirs, but Harry had been sleeping in one of the spare rooms for over a year now. He went to the kitchen and put on the kettle for some tea and picked up the papers again to see what the clinic had faxed over. All he knew so far until he went in next week was that the surrogate was: a male, 29, British heritage, blue eyes, no genetic problems detected in the screening, brunette, scored at least average on the IQ test presented, passed the thorough psychological and physical screenings, came from a family of at least one sibling, had a love of the arts, and had a listed profession as a teacher. He had surpassed all of the qualifications that Harry had listed. The only other thing he had requested was a confidentiality agreement. The surrogate wouldn't know his identity until they met, but needed to sign the agreement before the insemination process. This was the second try. The first a complete fail.

 

Harry hadn't made a preference of a male or female carrier. Many of the profiles didn't have photos attached, especially the newly approved ones, so he narrowed down the candidates to a few folders, some with, some without photos, then allowed the doctor himself to use his discretion to choose. He just wanted him to choose someone who would compliment his looks because he didn't want his child to look like his wife in any way, yet show some resemblance to him. He wanted to rule out her blonde hair and light brown eyes. He figured a brunette like him and either blue or green eyes would be his best chance to get what he wanted. He was looking forward to the meeting next week. He was told he would not only meet the surrogate and have time to sit and talk, but also to be present during the first official prenatal appointment and ultrasound. Of course he knew it was only an eight week appointment and not to expect much, but this was his baby and it would be his first meeting.

 

Harry finished his tea in his room as he called his mum with the news. While she wasn't happy about the state of his marriage, she was as excited as him about her second grandchild. She made him promise to call Gemma the next day to tell her. Gemma had a nine month old son so she could help Harry navigate through the ups and downs that would undoubtedly come with the pregnancy and early fatherhood. Harry promised, finished his tea, and finally slept that night with no nightmares. He dreamed of a nursery with a little bundle of joy in his arms. He woke up with a smile on his face.

******

 

The morning of the appointment started sunny and slightly breezy for mid summer in LA. Harry had woke up extra early filled with anticipation. He took his morning run and shower in record time. He finished signing the papers completing the purchase of a smaller property that Emily had readily agreed to move into. Stating that she had "no desire to be kept awake by the screams of a child who wasn't even hers," she made a list of demands that Harry passed on to his agent and the property had been found quickly. Thank God it was far enough away that she wouldn't be calling him at all hours for mundane crisis'. He would hire her a small staff to make sure of that.

 

He had time to make a quick call to the agent that Chris Nolan had told him about and leave a message about Emily, recommending her for the small part in a low budget film that was set to begin auditions within the next week. Nolan said he would recommend her if that is what Harry needed to be happy again. With that done, all Harry had to do was make the 30 minute drive to the clinic for the 8 am appointment. He knew he would be early, but he couldn't sit still any longer. With one last look in the mirror and a final drink of his tea to try to calm his nerves, he climbed into his Range Rover to begin the next journey of his life.

 

Harry's manager, Jeff, had previously arranged for him to enter through the back so he wasn't spotted and have photographers waiting when he came back out. This needed to be a private time for Harry. He was making plans with his mum and step father so that they would be here for the birth and the first few weeks. But he still needed to get through the next seven months. He knew Jeff and his family would be there for him. Liam and Niall would be too if he needed them. But for the most part Harry would be alone in this. It was worth it for him to have a healthy baby in his arms in the end though. 

 

Harry made his way into the clinic and was led to a private room. It was a stylish room with burgundy walls, gray carpet, and mahogany trim and tables. There was soft lighting and dark gray furniture with soft music playing. He sat there nervously flipping through a baby magazine like any expectant father when Dr. Jerome walked in. Harry stood up and they shook hands in greeting. It was only their second meeting, but Harry already liked the doctor. He had kind eyes, a firm grip, and had gone over everything in detail with Harry during his first visit. He was very sympathetic upon learning about Emily and the position she left Harry in. The two men sat together and the doctor spread out the folder of the surrogate. They started going over the medical history, mental health, height, weight, family heritage and medical genetics. Everything looked great to Harry. According to the records from the insemination date, the pregnancy is approximately eight weeks. This first appointment is routine. Bloodwork, measurements, weight, and setting a pregnancy plan, birth plan, technicalities.

 

Since the doctor had hand picked the surrogate, the two would have the opportunity to meet and have as much time as they needed before and after the appointment. The surrogate had of course signed all the legal documents that had been sent over by Harry's management and legal team. Full legal sole custody was already Harry's and Harry's alone. Emily had no rights at all. This was non negotiable for Harry. The surrogate was to be paid a hefty sum after carrying the baby to term. Of course all medical costs were covered and Harry would also be paying all living expenses throughout the pregnancy, plus a very generous monthly allowance. If anything were to go wrong, such as a miscarriage, financial supplements were also to be paid. The surrogate had already gone through one failed IVF. That was hard on the body and hormones. Harry had made sure to add an additional bonus for that. Most surrogacy contracts are very generous, Harry Styles’ surrogacy contract was extremely generous.

 

Just as the doctor was about to reveal the name and photo of the surrogate, he was called to an exam room for an emergency consultation. Harry couldn't sit still any longer, so he paced, fidgeting with his phone, considering texting his mum and Gemma. When the door opened Harry turned to greet Dr. Jerome, but stood rooted to the floor, mouth agape, speechless.

 

"Um... Sorry. I .. Uh.. I must be in the ... Uh.. wrong room. I'll just ...uh..go. Yeah. I'll go." Louis stammered as he backed out of the room, heart jackrabbiting in his throat. Of all bloody places to run into him. Why here? Why now? "God, I've got to get out of here."

 

Louis turned to go look for a staff member to see if they could reschedule his appointment. He hated to inconvenience the couple whose baby he was carrying, but he was about to lose his sanity in about ten seconds if he didn't get away from that door and who was on the other side. After he took two steps, his knees buckled and he grabbed the wall. Dr. Jerome rounded the corner just as Harry opened the door and they both saw Louis reaching blindly for help. The doctor got there first, just as Harry finally found his voice, "Lou? Are you alright?"

 

Dr. Jerome steadied Louis and instructed him to take a couple deep breaths, motioning for a nurse to bring a bottle of water. Harry just stood there staring. Then he started looking around. If Louis was here at this clinic, then his husband or partner was probably here also. Harry wasn't sure he was ready to face that. This day was not starting out like he thought it would. Just as he started to feel like an intruder and was about to back up into the room, Louis looked at Dr. Jerome and then something clicked with the doctor. 

 

"Oh, Mr. Styles, I heard you call Mr. Tomlinson by his first name. So you two had the chance to meet while I was in the other room? I'm sorry. I was hoping to be there to introduce you."

 

At those words, Harry and Louis just started at the doctor, then each other, then slowly back at the doctor. They both had a look of pure horror on their faces. At the expressions on their faces the doctor realized there was a problem. 

 

"Gentlemen, let's step back into the room, please."

 

As they silently went back into the room, the doctor helped a very pale Louis into a chair and encouraged him to drink the water. Harry was just staring, speechless. If this was what he thought it was, then Louis was now carrying his child. It was beginning to sink in to Louis as well. His hands instinctively covered his stomach as his eyes met Harry's. The raw emotion was there on both their faces. Dr. Jerome cleared his throat. 

 

"Excuse me gentlemen, but did I miss a confrontation? Did something happen? I can get the legal documents if I need to but they were rather straightforward, Mr. Tomlinson. Is there a problem?"

 

When Louis didn't speak the doctor looked to Harry. "Mr. Styles?"

 

"Um. No. There's no... I mean that's not the problem."

 

"Can one of you please tell me what's happening then?"

 

Harry spoke first. "We already know each other. I never dreamed this could happen. Why would you do... I just..." he trailed off, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose, his brows furrowed.

 

"Oh my God what have we done?" asked Louis as he finally dissolved into tears on the verge of hyperventilating.

 

Harry's first instinct was to reach out for him, but the doctor stopped him with a sharp look. "Louis, it's not good for you or the baby to get worked up. How about you stay here and rest and Mr. Styles and I will go to my office to discuss this. I'm going to have a nurse come in and take your blood pressure and bring you some orange juice and fruit. Is that alright? Just take your time to rest and get yourself together."

 

"Um... Yeah. I'd appreciate that. Thank you. And I'm sorry. So so sorry." He whimpered then started crying again. The doctor grabbed Harry by the arm and led him into the hall. He went back to Louis and reassured him that they would figure out whatever it was they needed to and that the nurse would be right in. Then he led Harry down the hall and into his office.

 

As the door shut, Harry let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding. A silent tear trailed down his cheek. Dr. Jerome motioned for him to sit. 

 

"Harry. Can you please explain to me what's happening here?"

 

"Doctor, you know who I am, right? You know that's why we have the whole confidentiality thing going on and me coming and going through the back door, right?"

 

The doctor just nodded for him to continue.

 

"So you realize I was in a band several years ago before I went solo. A pretty successful band?"

 

"I recall one of my nurses mentioning it and I had to remind her that we do not gossip or betray the confidence of any of our clients in any way. I'm sorry I'm not much into mainstream music. But what does any of this have to do with your surrogacy or with Mr. Tomlinson?"

 

"He was my bandmate. Um.. He was also my uh... partner. Romantically."

 

"Oh no. I can assure you that his paperwork said nothing about a band or any entertainment industry work. Your name was never mentioned. He's a music teacher from outside of Las Vegas. Our background check was thorough. He checked out. No criminal background, no violent history, but we don't check for past entertainment histories."

 

"None of us have heard from him in several years. Last I knew he was still in Doncaster in England. His mother had just passed. He did some promo for a song he had released then he just disappeared. Why would he be a surrogate? It just doesn't make sense."

 

"So um, excuse me for putting this so blunt, but do you intend to carry on with this pregnancy? The contract you both signed puts you in full control. If you want to terminate you have every right to..."

 

"No way, that's my child he's carrying. He and I may have a past and this may be difficult for us but I won't throw my child away because of it," Harry stammered indignantly.

 

He went on, "I'll do whatever I need to do to make it easier for him. If that means staying away until the baby is born, then I'll do it. Please let him know I'm not trying to hurt him. I didn't know. You know I didn't know." He was tearing up again.

 

The doctor handed him a water bottle. "Alright, Harry. Let me go see what Louis has to say."

 

Harry waited what ended up only being a few minutes before a grim faced Dr. Jerome stepped back into the office. "He's gone."

 

******

 

Gone.

 

Gone.

 

Louis is gone. Again.

 

His baby is gone.

 

Louis took his baby. Their baby. "Oh my God. It's our baby. Ours." Harry muttered to himself. He pulled out his phone then realized he no longer has his number. The tears started in earnest this time. Louis took their baby and they were both gone.

 

Dr. Jerome asked Harry what he wanted to do. "Should I call the police? Technically this constitutes kidnapping. The law is on your side. But with the pregnancy not being viable yet, there isn't a lot that can be done. I have all of his contact information. I could try to contact him. I'll leave it up to you."

 

"No don't call the police. Can you try to reach him and give me all of his contact information so I can have my manager see if he can have someone check out his place?"

 

"Of course, Mr. Styles. Why don't you go home and get some rest. Let me print you out his record, shouldn't take more than a few minutes. Then you can go. The contract gives you full access to everything in his chart upon emergency situations. I'd say this qualifies. I'll make sure to call you if I hear anything at all."

 

"Yeah. Ok. Um. Please go get me his record." 

 

Harry sat with his head in his hands, his head pounding, on the verge of a panic attack, and just wanting to crawl into his mum's arms. He had no doubt he would call her as soon as he got to his car and that he would be reduced to a blubbering mess. He also knew that his mum would be here as soon as humanly possible. And he would let her. He needed her. He wouldn't even think about what else he needed. He hadn't allowed himself those thoughts in years. Now all of a sudden Louis was carrying their baby. Their baby. Theirs. But what if Louis isn't alright? He was so upset. And he can't blame him. But Harry needs him to be alright. He needs their baby to be alright. He just needs... He doesn't even know anymore. This certainly isn't what he expected for today. 

 

Dr. Jerome came back in carrying a large envelope. He handed it to Harry and told him to go get some rest. He said he already had his secretary making calls. After assuring him as best he could that it would be alright, the doctor told Harry to head home. "Also, it would probably be best to allow my staff and I or your staff to be the ones to actually contact Louis since contact with you is so upsetting to him. It's not healthy for him or the baby."

 

Harry just nodded, feeling numb all of a sudden and left. As he got into the car the first thing he saw was the flowers. He had stopped and bought them on the way to the clinic this morning for the surrogate as a thank you, but then left them in the car until he knew for sure that he would be comfortable receiving them as a gift. Harry dialed his mum as the dam of tears broke free. He didn't realize how hard he was crying until she answered and he was barely able to breathe. His knuckles were white from gripping the flowers so tightly. 

 

Anne instantly knew something was very very wrong. She helped Harry to calm down through his breathing exercises as best as she could. He hadn't needed to use that coping mechanism since Louis left him the first time. Harry let it all out. All the tears, all the pain, all the fear. He sat in the car park and let it all out, crying to his mum until his phone battery was about to die. As he reluctantly said goodbye with the promise to call her back as soon as he heard anything, she promised to book the next available flight to LA. As he started his car, he rolled down the window and threw out the wilting flowers. Then he used the last of his phone battery to call Jeff and get started on the quest to track down Louis and their baby.

 

******

Louis was leaning against the side of the building in the shadows where no one would see him when he saw, or rather heard Harry come out the door. He would recognize that wheezing anywhere. He could almost feel his own chest constrict with the apparent panic attack he had caused. And all he could do was stand there and watch him, waiting for him to drive away so that he could make his own escape and think this through. 

 

But that's not what was going to happen. He could see Harry in the car, head on the steering wheel, phone to his ear. He was holding something in his other hand. Louis was close enough he could see him struggling to breathe for a few minutes. Then, the longer he spoke, the better he seemed to be. Unfortunately for Louis, he couldn't step out of the shadows without being seen and it didn't appear that Harry was going anywhere any time soon. So Louis sank down to the grass to try to get comfortable. He's not sure how long he sat there just staring at Harry, wishing he could help calm him, yet knowing he didn't have that right any longer. In fact, the reason Harry was having this panic attack was because of Louis. 

 

He stood, stretching his joints, thankful Harry had finally pulled out of the car park. He was sad, cranky, hungry, had to pee, and had no clue what he was going to do about this predicament. His head was spinning from the dizziness and nausea of the morning sickness that he had been experiencing for about a week. His head was pounding, thoughts swimming through his mind at an alarming rate. He started to his own car when he saw them. A beautiful bouquet of flowers. Tied in green and yellow ribbon lying abandoned on the ground where Harry's car had been parked. He walked over and looked down at the now limp flowers. There was a small card with tiny baby feet and the words "Thank you for this precious gift - H"

 

Louis picked them up. Touched the delicate petals. He could see where Harry had crushed the stems so hard, probably when he was crying in such a panic. A panic that he had caused. Louis crushed the flowers to his chest and got into his own car. He knew what he needed to do. He was terrified. He had no idea how they could make this work. But he knew he couldn't be the cause of more pain to Harry. He called the clinic. 

 

A relieved Dr. Jerome got right on the line when the receptionist told him who was calling. He apologized for panicking. He asked for Harry's number and told the doctor that he thought that they should probably talk privately before they came back to the clinic. The doctor agreed that they probably needed to work things out between them due to the delicate nature of the situation. He was sure Harry wouldn't mind him giving Louis his number because he was so worried, but it is against clinic policy. So he promised to have Harry call Louis as soon as he could get in touch with him. Louis agreed to that, hung up and went in search of a bathroom and food. 

 

As he sat in a booth in a nearby diner waiting on his food to be served, he thought back to his time with Harry. It seemed so long ago. They had been so in love, nothing could have or should have stood in their way. Yet everything did. Louis was a coward. In the end he had allowed it to all get under his skin, to make him question himself and their future. He ran. And he didn't allow himself to look back. The five years had flown by. The other boys all had successful solo careers and lives, his sisters and brother were growing up, Lottie was married to Tommy and helping Dan with the twins. God, he couldn't believe the were seven now. Everyone had moved on except for him. He had started out alright, dropping a number one single with Steve Aoki, and starting out on his own solo career. He was pretty much MIA during that time, still grieving his mum and preferring to work alone until he was ready to drop the album he had just finished. He was preparing his promo tour, then contemplating a small album tour. But then Harry dropped his own record and he listened to it. He heard the songs, the ones he knew were about him, them, the reminders of their love, the hidden meanings, the references. He halted everything and cut contact with everyone in the business. He hated himself for being so weak but that was Louis Tomlinson, the weak link of everything. Everything that had become his life after that proved just how weak he was. 

Even though today he had pretty much overcome the sharpest edges of the 0pain and the medical problems it had cost him, he could feel the anxieties bubbling back up and immediately pushed away the food that the server had set in front of him.

 

He was startled out of his brooding by the shrill ring of his mobile. He sucked in a breath when he saw the unknown number. It had to be Harry. He gathered all the courage he could, it was now or never.

 

"Ello."

"Louis? Thank God. Where are you?"

"Whoa. Slow down, Harry. I agreed to talk. Let's take this slow, ok? This is quite a shock for me, as I'm sure it is you too."

 

He found himself snapping into the phone unintentionally, but his nerves were getting the best of him. He was trying so hard to keep the tremor out of his voice.

 

"Louis, I just want to talk. That's all. It was a shock. And I'm so sorry that this has apparently brought back up the apparent hatred you have for me. But we can't change the fact that you are carrying my baby now. We need to deal with this."

 

Just hearing those words brought a fresh wave of nausea to Louis' throat. He closed his eyes and tried to breathe. He was carrying Harry's baby. Their baby. Something they had dreamed of once upon a time, but now it was one he would hand over to Harry and his wife. The wife Louis had hated since he had first seen and read about in the tabloids. The tears finally spilled down his cheeks.

 

"Louis, are you still there?"

 

Harry was concerned. Louis could hear it in his voice. He knew it wasn't for Louis now, but for the baby he carried.

 

"Yes, I'm here, Harry. I said we could talk." He snapped again.

 

"Ok. So, tell me. What can I do to help you through this. How can I make this better? Do you want me to stay away, to leave you in the care of the clinic? I'd love to be a part of the entire pregnancy, but I don't want to scare you off again. You don't have to see me again if you don't want to. But please, Louis, please don't skip the prenatal appointments. You need the blood work and vitamins and checkups. I'll stay away if that's what you want. I just need to know that you are safe and healthy, that the baby is safe and healthy."

 

"Of course, Harry. I would never harm the child just because you are the father. And I wouldn't deny you being a part of the pregnancy. I just need a moment to process it. Um... What about your wife? I didn't see her today. Will she be there too?"

 

"She isn't in the picture, Lou. I'll be raising the baby alone," Harry muttered quietly.

 

Oh. That took Louis by surprise. He had been informed that he would be carrying a baby for a couple who couldn't have one of their own. He had to sign some additional non-disclosure agreements because the couple was apparently a high profile family, which was why his surrogacy rate was actually more than triple an average rate. Louis just considered himself lucky to hit the jackpot when money was the one thing he needed most. He didn't want to ask, but his curiosity got the better of him.

 

"Can I ask why?"

 

"Long story. This is the only way I could accomplish having a child discreetly without a scandal."

 

"Oh. I um... Ok. I guess I could reschedule the appointment for tomorrow. Or even this afternoon. But Harry, please know this is going to be difficult for me. Please don't push, ok?"

 

"Whatever you need. I'd do anything for you, Louis. You have to know that."

 

"I, um, I'll call you right back if that's alright."

 

"Su.."

 

Before Harry could even finish his sentence, Louis had disconnected. He sat with his head in his hands to gather his thoughts and courage a few moments before dialing the clinic's number. The appointment was rescheduled for two hours later and the clinic receptionist was the one who called Harry to inform him. He left right away, not wanting to allow Louis time to slip away again.

 

******

 

Luckily Louis had pushed his lunch away. He would have been hugging the toilet again if he hadn't. Also, the blood tests he had scheduled called for him to be fasting. He headed back to the clinic to have his blood drawn before Harry arrived. Dr. Jerome was relieved to see him.

 

"Louis, are you alright? I am so sorry for this. Do you need to talk? I am available or we have a great team of psychologists here."

 

Psychologists are something Louis had seen enough of to last a lifetime. 

 

"Um, I just have a few questions if that's alright."

 

"Anything. Fire away."

 

"Why is Harry's wife not involved? I was told before the insemination that it was for a couple."

 

"It really is Harry's story to tell. I don't know all of the specifics."

 

"Ok. Well then. I guess we should just get this over then. It is a shock to see Harry again and well, kind of overwhelming, but I'm sure I'll be fine. Oh another question, what all has he been told about my situation?"

 

"Louis, I can assure you that all of our client information is extremely confidential except for all information pertaining to the child. Of course he now has your mobile number and contact information since you left. That constituted an emergency and the contract stated I was to provide him with the information.He does know you are a music teacher from outside of Vegas because it's in your profile. As far as our private conversations, none of that has been passed on and it will only be passed on if it comes from you or if anything puts the pregnancy at risk and it is thought that he needs to be told. Louis, you know I had my reservations about you being a candidate for surrogacy. But I was reassured by your doctors that you are completely healthy and mentally competent. I believe in you. Whatever you choose to share with Harry is your choice."

 

"Thank you," Louis whispered. No matter how many times he was reassured that he had his disorder under control, the mere mention of it always brought embarrassment and disappointment. He pushed the troublesome thoughts away and asked if they could get the blood drawn before Harry arrived.

 

"I take it since it is fasting bloodwork you still haven't eaten?"

 

"No. I left before I had the juice and fruit you said you were sending and I couldn't eat after I left."

 

"You know you need to eat, Louis. It's vital for you and for the baby. Let's draw the blood and then you will have some juice and fruit. And you will promise that you will eat immediately after the appointment."

 

"I promise."

 

Harry arrived as they were walking out of the lab. The two stopped and looked at each other for a minute. When neither made a move to speak, Dr. Jerome broke the tension and directed all of them into an exam room. He set about taking Louis' vitals, weighing and measuring him and printing out all of the diet and prenatal plans. He also had birthing class enrollment forms and more standard legal forms, plus more detailed ones that Harry's team had included. Everything was duplicated and placed into two separate folders so they would each have a copy. 

 

"This isn't to overwhelm either of you, these are just standard procedures that we normally go over at the first visit. We can go over them if you want or they can wait. You two can decide what type of birth plan you want later. Louis, before we do the ultrasound, will you please drink this orange juice and which fruit would you prefer?"

 

"Sure. And um, do you have a banana? I'm sorry Harry, I haven't eaten and Dr. Jerome made me promise," Louis explained as he glared at the doctor.

 

"Of course. I only want what's best for both of you."

 

Louis nibbled the fruit in tiny bites as they were talking, but finally finished the fruit and juice. The doctor had him lay back on the table for his exam. After moving Louis' shirt up and his jeans down a bit, Dr. Jerome began pressing around on his abdomen and nodding his satisfaction. He then pulled the ultrasound machine over and called in the tech. The entire time Harry had stood to the side, trying to not be intrusive, quietly watching Louis. His emotions were all over the scale, still trying to comprehend the fact that Louis was carrying his baby. He was barely holding it together himself and he knew that Louis could easily be on the brink of running at any moment. At the thought of going through even one more moment like he did this morning, brought tears to his eyes. Harry had to find a way to make this as easy as possible for both of them.

 

"Now as I said before, at this point, we may not be able to hear the heartbeat, but we should be able to see the heart beating." 

 

Both Harry and Louis' eyes grew big at that news.

 

"I will measure the baby and the amniotic sac. I will make sure the pregnancy has implanted properly and that there is plenty of fluid surrounding the baby. Going by the date of the IVF, I would put your due date at February 8, Louis. Men tend to go into labor early at times so we will watch you carefully for any signs of early labor. You will deliver by c-section of course and if it makes you more comfortable we can schedule it ahead of time to prevent the scare that emergency c-sections can sometimes bring. Now are you both ready?"

 

The pair glance at each other, eyes meeting briefly, before both nodding. “February 8th, yeah? Right after your own birthday. That will be nice,” whispered Louis.

“Yeah.” It was all Harry knew to say.

 

"Great. Shall we look at the little one then? This will be cold, Louis,” said the tech.

 

Louis hissed as the gel was spread on his stomach and the wand began to wander across his abdomen. When the wand stopped and a small white figure could be seen within a black bubble, squirming around, both Harry and Louis froze with tears in their eyes. Harry instinctively reached out to touch Louis' shoulder and Louis automatically placed his hand over Harry's. Somehow, after all this time, their muscle memory was still in perfect sync. 

 

"So, the little one here is looking very strong indeed. Moving a lot. Let's get some measurements.... Right where they should be. Now do you see that? The heartbeat?"

 

Harry had tears streaming down his face now. "Lou, look. It's.. It's perfect. Thank you. Thank you so much."

 

"No Harry, thank you. I.. I just... I'm sorry, yeah? I shouldn't have ran. Look at that. It's a baby. Your baby. I'll take good care of it, Harry. I promise."

 

Louis was openly crying now also. Their eyes were locked on each other, then back on the screen, both oblivious to Dr. Jerome's presence as he continued to take note of the tech’s measuring and examination of the baby. Suddenly a very tiny, very faint, extremely fast whooshing sound was heard. "Do you hear that, gentlemen? That's the heartbeat. You can barely hear it, but if you watch carefully, the sound matches with the beating on screen."

 

Both men were speechless as they listened. After a few moments, Dr. Jerome and the tech continued with the exam. When he suddenly stopped the wand over a certain spot on Louis' stomach and asked Louis if could roll over a little to his left, Harry and Louis both sucked in worried breaths. Dr. Jerome furrowed his brows for a few moments, taking the wand from the tech and moving it around until....

 

"Is that... I mean, no, it's not... that's not possible. Is it?" The words tumbled out of Harry's mouth slowly as he looked from the monitor to Louis to Dr. Jerome. Louis followed his gaze with a frown of confusion on his face.

 

"Harry, what I think you are asking is if it's possible for there to be multiple fetuses in here," he poked Louis' stomach. The answer is yes because as a surrogate, we use every method possible to ensure a successful pregnancy, meaning Louis had taken two rounds of fertility medication to prompt his body to prepare for pregnancy, even possibly releasing multiple eggs. Also yes because this little black area here is a second sac and this little squirmy button is the sibling of this first one. Now I need to do another set of measurements."

 

Louis stared at the screen, reality dawning on him slowly. He looked up at Harry and whispered "twins? Like Phebes and Daze, Dorry and Ernie? Oh God."

 

When Harry nodded, Louis finally gave up all pretense of even trying to hold it together. He started sobbing. He pushed Dr. Jerome away, sat up while pulling his shirt back down, hopped down off the table, grabbed his wallet, keys and phone from the counter, and left the room before either Harry or the doctor really knew what was happening. 

 

"Fuck. What do I do now doc? I mean, I know he won't go far and even if he does, he'll be back or call. He promised. I'm not worried about that. I'm worried about him. I know people do this for many different reasons, and don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled that I have not just one but two babies thanks to his generosity. But I know him, at least I used to. Louis was never someone who could carry a child and just hand it over. He loves kids, practically raised all his sisters. He has two sets of twin siblings for God's sake. This has to be so hard for him. It would have been hard regardless of who the father was. Knowing that it would be so devastating for him, why would he do it? Why put himself through it? What am I missing?"

 

"That's not my story to tell, Harry. I do agree that Louis has not run off. He simply needs time to adjust. It's been a long day for everyone. Here are several photos I printed for you from the scans. And here's your folder of information. I'll make sure Louis gets his. I will let you know that our original plan was appointments every four to five weeks. I think that needs to be re-worked to every. two to three weeks. Louis is a fairly small man and carrying twins could be hard on him. I know he was planning on staying in town tonight and returning to Nevada tomorrow. I will call him to make sure he can make the trip for more frequent appointments."

 

"He's leaving so soon? Well, I guess he would since he lives there, huh? Um, since I have his number from calling him earlier, do you suppose it would be alright if I called him tonight? You know, just to make sure he's ok? And to talk. I want him to know that he can talk to me if he wants. But if he doesn't, he can totally ignore me too. Not that that's what I want because it isn't. But I want him to be comfortable, you know? I just want him to be alright."

 

"Harry, I think I understand. Maybe try texting him first. See how it goes. Don't push him. We want to avoid stressing him out, alright? I'm going to call him and check on him, remind him about his folder of information and vitamin prescription. I also want to make sure that he remembers to eat something. Don't forget in all your haste to look out for Louis to look out for yourself also. You hear me?"

 

Harry smiled sadly at the doctor and nodded. They stood and shook hands and Harry gathered up the folder of information and the photographs of his two children. He could barely believe it. Two children. His. His and Louis'. If only it could have been under other circumstances. Harry tiredly walked to his car. After getting in he pulls out the photos again and just sits and stares. Then the tears start falling again.

 

******

Two weeks later and Harry still had not heard from Louis. His texts had gone unanswered. Dr. Jerome had updated him that he had been in touch and was now home in Nevada, taking his vitamins and that he had faxed all of the information from the visit to him, including a recommended diet and exercise plan. Louis was on summer break from school so he had encouraged him to enroll in some prenatal yoga classes. Harry was relieved that the doctor seemed confident that all was well, but he wished Louis would communicate with him at least a little. He had promised to give him space though, so he did his best to go through his days following his routine as closely as possible. He took his morning runs, went to the studio to work on some new things he had in the works, and he spent a lot of time with his mum who had followed through with her promise to visit. He also was still dealing with Emily and her incessant demands. The first meeting he scheduled with the recommendation from Nolan didn't result in any success on her part because of her arrogance. He was trying to get her another audition or at least her own manager to get her off his hands.

 

It was during one of his morning runs that his phone went off, interrupting his classic rock playlist that he got lost in during his morning runs every day. His finger hovering over the decline button, he noticed it was Dr. Jerome's number. He stopped running and answered the call, trying to catch his breath.

 

"Harry? I just wanted to let you know that I'm having Louis come in later today for an appointment. He called my service last night, having some minor complications and I asked him come in. One of his co-workers is driving him down. He wasn't thrilled with the aspect, but agreed to having you attend. Can you be here by 2?"

 

"Of course I'll be there. Is he alright? What's wrong? How are the babies?" Harry was beginning to panic.

 

"Harry, calm down. Morning sickness is common in most pregnancies and it can be almost intolerable in some cases. When you add indigestion and gas, he's in a lot of discomfort. I want to check out a few things and I think the three of us need to have a talk about some issues."

 

"Ok. Would it be alright if I brought my mum along? She could wait in the waiting room. She flew in from Cheshire last week and I really just want her with me. Also Louis may be more willing to speak with her than myself. They were extremely close at one time."

 

"Of course. Bring her along. If Louis doesn't want her in the room, as you said, she can wait outside."

 

After they disconnected Harry took a few deep breaths then turned and started running back towards his house, no longer feeling like continuing on his run. Anne sensed something was off as soon as her son came in and grabbed a towel and bottle of water. She quirked an eyebrow at him in question. He sat down with a sigh and told her about the call.

 

"Oh Harry, you know he's ok, right? I remember how tiring and stressful the morning sickness was. For Louis, it must be awful. Twins plus the added stress of the situation. You have to remember what a shock to his system this all is. It's not what he signed up for."

 

"But it is, Mum. It's exactly what he signed up for. Maybe not my baby, but he agreed to surrogate. He knew what he was getting into. I don't know why. Lord knows giving up a child is not something the Louis we knew would ever do. But he's changed Mum."

 

"And you honestly think that finding out that you are the father didn't throw him into a tailspin, Harry? Look what it's doing to you and you aren't the one carrying two babies. You have to cut him some slack here."

 

Harry nodded, still worried. He knew it was the truth, but he couldn't help but to want things to be different. He wanted to be able to at least talk to Louis. He went to shower and get ready for the day, hoping that when Dr. Jerome said they could talk that Louis would be open to hearing Harry out.

 

The morning and early afternoon seemed to crawl by but it was finally time to leave for the clinic. Anne and Harry were early but Louis was already there in the exam room. He had requested that Anne wait outside until after the exam but promised to speak with her.

 

"Harry, I'm just taking Louis down to the lab to draw some blood for some tests. Feel free to wait here or in the waiting room with your mother. It shouldn't be long."

"Anne's here?" Louis asked in surprise. 

"Of course. As soon as she heard what had happened she flew over. She really would love to speak with you, but only if you want to."

"I'll think about it. Hey doc, can we go get this done now?" 

"Of course. Harry, we will be right back."

As they walked down the hall, Harry went and sat with his head on his mum's shoulder. He felt so out of his element here. 

Dr. Jerome and Louis went into the lab. He explained to Louis the plan for the visit. 

Once they were back in the room with Harry, Dr. Jerome explained, “while we are waiting on the results I'm going to do another scan. This time we should be able to hear both heartbeats much better and get proper measurements for both babies. First we need to just weigh and measure you, Louis."

 

Louis took a sharp breath, but said nothing. He knew this was something he needed to get used to, he knew it when he agreed to surrogate. But he needs the money so it was something he would have to do.

 

The doctor frowned as he continued. "Louis, just how bad has the morning sickness been?"

 

"Well... It hasn't been just in the morning. I feel sick pretty much all day. I haven't found much that doesn't make me sick, not even dry toast or crackers like me mum used to eat. For some reason I can keep down tomato soup sometimes but I hate the taste of it. I still eat it though because it's one of the only things I can. Or I eat the sauce off the spaghetti o's but not the noodles. My friend from work who drove me here was eating it one day and I tried it and that's how I learned that tomato based things stayed down for the most part. That's about it though."

 

"And what about your vitamins and fluids?"

 

"The vitamins usually come right back up. I can't drink plain water because it gives me horrible indigestion, then I get sick, but luckily I can still drink me tea."

 

"So basically you're starving?" 

 

"Hold on Harry. Severe morning sickness is very real," admonished Dr. Jerome as Louis' bottom lip began to quiver. "But we do need to do something here. Louis, you've lost three pounds in two weeks and over an inch in your waist. That is unacceptable. Let's check your bloodwork."

 

As expected, the test results proved Louis to be anemic and very low on many of his blood counts. "Harry, could you please give Louis and I a minute?"

 

A confused Harry gave them both a worried look, but cautiously stepped out of the room. He crossed the hall to fill in his mum on what was happening.

 

******

 

"Louis I'm going to ask you this and I need you to be honest with me. Are you not eating because you are physically ill or are you punishing yourself again? We can fix it either way, but I need to know the truth. And I believe it's time for you to tell Harry the truth also. You don't need to elaborate, only tell as much as you are comfortable with, but he needs to know. These are his children, Louis."

 

Seeing the panic in Louis eyes, the doctor continues, "As per the contract, he has a right to your medical records. Now that you reported you are having such severe nausea, I can't help but to note it in your file. I'm sure it would be better coming from you than from him possibly reading it in your file."

 

Louis nodded. "Are you saying yes that the sickness is self inflicted or yes that you will talk to him?"

 

"A little of both I guess," he said with glistening eyes and his head dropped towards the floor.

 

"Oh, Louis. We can help you. Tell me what's going on in your mind?"

 

"All I can think of is me mum and how much I've let her down. She just, well, she just loved Harry so much. If she knew what was going on right now she would kill me. So much that has happened after she died would just break her heart. I would have broken her heart so many times over and now this. I'm just devastated."

"Louis, you do know that none of this is your fault, right? It was all a complete mix up. If we had known the history, this never would have happened."

Louis' tears broke free then as the words started flowing. "I know that. But everything else. It's my fault to begin with. I pushed him away. I ended it. I walked away. Mum was heartbroken then. But she just kept loving me, yeah? She didn't understand. Hell, I didn't understand. But she kept loving me anyway. But then she died. And I fell apart. I lost control. I lost control of myself, my health, my mind, my finances, my heart, everything. And it all brought me here today. So how do I explain that all to him? Tell me Dr. Jerome, how do I tell the love of my life that I pushed him away because I was given an ultimatum by our management that he either got me or a successful career and I gave him the better of the two because he deserves so much better than me and because I'm a complete coward and was afraid to fight? Then I sank all my savings into mum's medical care before throwing in the towel on my own career. So now I have no money, no savings, and I'm selling my body as a surrogate to try to get a new start. And oh by the way, let's not forget that for a little over a year there I just stopped eating. Not sure if I was punishing myself or trying to make meself feel better, but the result was the same. As you said that almost cost me even being able to be a surrogate. So much therapy, so much hard work to just be able to eat healthy again and what do I do at the first confrontation with Harry? I stop eating! And it isn't just me at stake. I have these two babies. Harry's babies. Oh my God. How am I going to get through this? These are Harry's babies! And to know I did all of this because he deserved so much better than me and yet where is his wife? Why would anyone leave him alone to go through this when I would give anything to be the one to do this with him? By I don't have that right. I gave him up. And now I'm no better. I left him alone again, didn't I? I just walked away carrying his babies, scaring him to death. And now I'm just rambling. Dr. Jer..." Louis voice was getting higher as he spoke, hugs breath coming in shorter, jagged puffs.

"Louis, stop. Breathe. There is so much going on in that head of yours you are about to hyperventilate. Just breathe. That's it."

He held Louis' hand and rubbed his back until he was calmer, only hiccupping every now and then. "Louis, this is serious. You don't need to go into detail with everything right now. But every thing you just told me has a very real possibility of impacting this pregnancy. You need to discuss all of this with Harry. It's going to be hard. I can't begin to imagine or understand half of what you went through or are going through, the decisions you've made, the emotions you've felt, the heartbreak. You kept talking about how you let your mom down and broke her heart. I have a feeling that you also feel like you let yourself down and that you've had your share of heartbreak. You are going to have a very long seven months ahead of you if you don't begin to deal with some of that."

"I know," Louis whispered. "I just need to figure out how to talk to him. I know he probably hates me. He already said he thinks I hate him. We are just a mess."

 

"I'm sure that's not the case. And either way, it's a mess that needs cleared up. But for right now, can we finish today's appointment? And promise me that you two will talk soon. If you need me, just call. Ok?"

"Ok. I can do that."

"Then shall we let Harry back in?"

Louis nodded.

As he walked back into the exam room, they could tell how anxious he was. Obviously nervous that Louis has may have changed his mind and left. Also worried about the medical condition of both Louis and the babies. 

"Is everything alright? Louis, how are you?"

"Harry, It's ok," Dr. Jerome reassured him. "As I already explained, Louis has been experiencing some severe nausea. We took some blood and we are going to go over some things with you."

The tears welled up in Louis' eyes again as he prepared himself for what was coming. "If it's alright, doctor, I'd like to talk to Harry privately after the appointment."

They both looked at Harry as he slowly nodded his head.

"Ok, as both of you are aware this is a ten week appointment, so things will be a little different. By this time, in a single pregnancy, the baby would be a little over an inch long. They may be a little smaller, but we will check. Louis, it's very easy for you to get dehydrated at this point and it's vital that you get as many liquids and protein as possible. The blood we took will show how you are doing nutritionally," he stressed with a pointed look.

"How are you feeling physically? Tired?” 

“Exhausted. Sometimes I'm ready for a nap before I even get out of bed in the morning.”

“That's normal. You just have to rest when you can. It's important. Ok. Here are the rest of your results now. Hmmm... Just as I expected."

"What is it?" Harry asked anxiously.

"Louis, you said you are only tolerating a few tomato based foods, very little water, only tea, can't keep the water you do manage to drink down."

He nodded. 

“Ok, this is certainly alarming, but we can work with it. As I've already told you, you've lost some weight. You need to be gaining weight, not losing it. It's vital. I understand the nausea you have been having has been very bad. We will work on that. But I need you to work on eating balanced meals too. It's non-negotiable."

Louis hung his head and mumbled that he would try.

As the doctor measured Louis around the middle he frowned again. "It seems your uterus has progressed in size, but you have lost just a little over an inch around your waist. This is something we seriously need to take into consideration, Louis. Promise me you will work on it, ok? I will prescribe something for the nausea.”

“Yeah, ok.”

“Now let's get you on up the table. Are you both ready to get started?"

Harry nodded eagerly while Louis nodded less enthusiastically.

As he laid back on the table, Harry watched him with careful eyes. The doctor pushed his shirt up and asked Louis to push his pants down past his abdomen. " The gel is going to be cold again," Dr. Jerome warned. 

"Ok. Now let's see what we have here. See here? This is the first baby," he stated when they both nodded. "Everything looks good. I'm going to check the measurements. Hmm.. Yes, they seem to be on track. The heart seems to be functioning properly. So you want to hear the heartbeat if we can? Louis, you have a pretty small frame so I'd say we could probably hear at least one of them depending on their positions. It looks good."

Both men nodded vigorously.

"Alright. Let's check the second one out first. Yes, this one seems a little bigger, heart rate is good, everything is progressing normally. Let me print you some photos and then I'll get the doppler to check for the heartbeats."

Louis cleared his throat before speaking, "um, I may be out of line, and if I am just tell me. But would it be alright for me to have a photo also?"

Dr. Jerome looked at Harry. "I guess that would be ok. I mean, you are doing all the work here." Harry felt that Louis deserved photos if it would help him cope.

"Thank you, Harry. I really appreciate it."

"It's ok, Lou."

"Alright gentlemen, now let's check for those heartbeats."

As the doctor placed the doppler on Louis' abdomen, both men instinctively reached for the other's hand.

Within seconds a very faint, very fast whooshing sound could be heard. "That is the first heartbeat," said Dr. Jerome. 

"Isn't it awfully fast and airy?" asked Louis as Harry nodded.

"No, no. Baby's hearts beat faster because they are working hard. All heart beats sound more like a whoosh than a thump because there is blood pumping through them. The thumps are a misconception. This heartbeat sounds strong. Remember the first time you heard it? It's the same, just stronger. Let' see if we can find the second one."

"So everything is alright?" asked Louis. 

"It looks right. Even if we couldn't hear it, we can still see both hearts beating here on the screen. So everything is going well, Louis. You need to relax. The anxiety isn't good for you or the babies. Harry, I can see the worry in your face also. Relax, ok? Everything is progressing as it should. There, hear that? It's the second heartbeat."

Dr. Jerome looked over at the two men, noticing their clasped hands. As he did, Harry also looked down at his fingers intertwined with Louis'. He squeezed and surprisingly, Louis squeezed back.

 

As soon as the exam was over, the next appointment was scheduled two weeks out because of Louis' weight issue. The photos were handed to them and Dr. Jerome excused himself. "I'll just be in my office working on paperwork for the rest of the afternoon. I do have one other appointment, but other than that, I'm free. You two can feel free to have your chat in here or in one of the conference rooms if you prefer. Louis, if you do go somewhere else to talk and at any time you begin to feel uncomfortable or anxious, please don't hesitate to call me, alright? I meant what I said about our resources available to you anytime you need them."

"Thank you doc."

Harry looked confused at this, but didn't say anything.

"I'm sure we will be fine doc. I will call you and let you know though. Harry, would you like to maybe take a walk in the park across the street to have that chat?"

"Um.. sure. Whatever makes you comfortable. I'll just need to let mum know to head on home.

"I really do want to see her, I just think today isn't the right time."

"it's ok, I'll send her home, then I'll catch a cab later. It'll be fine. I promise.

 

******

They made quick stops at their cars to drop off the paperwork from today's visit, then headed off across the street.

"Um... So what's going on, Lou? You've kind of got me scared," asked Harry nervously.

"No, nothing to be scared of. I guess I just kind of owe you some answers, some closure for both of us I guess. Some explanations. And it all needs to come from me before you read it in my medical records. So I just thought maybe we could talk, yeah?"

"Of course. You can tell me anything, Lou. I hope you know that. Would you like to grab something to eat from that little shop then sit there by the lake?"

"Sounds good."

Once they had situated themselves on the bench with turkey sandwiches and bottles of iced tea, Louis knew that if he didn't start talking then, he never would, so he just jumped right in.

"Harry, I need to tell you a lot of stuff. You aren't going to like a lot of it, but I need to just say all of it. Please just listen. Don't interrupt, don't question me, don't question my motives, just please let me get this out, ok?"

Harry nodded, afraid to say anything.

"Ok. Well. Umm.. You know when we were together, it must have seemed to you that I just walked away with not a thought or look back. But that wasn't the case at all. Everyone knew the band was headed for a hiatus. Sony made it clear to me that you were meant to be a star. They had a meeting with me, said that you had already signed a manager and were planning a solo career. I knew this, even though we were having problems we still told each other everything, or so I thought. Then they blindsided me. 

All the years in the band, everything we went through, we had finally reached the end, it was our time, we could be together. Just a few more months. But then they lowered the boom. They told me about the new contract you had signed. Your solo deal and you stay in the closet. I was shocked, hurt, angry, sad. Simon said I had every right to come out of the closet on my own, but if I even hinted at a relationship with you, then you would have everything taken away from you. He told me you had agreed. It was when the band was arguing about whether to perform on the final X-Factor, you and I hadn't been talking a lot. I had seen the happiness in your eyes when you talked about the movie role and your solo career, so I just agreed, signed the contract for my own album that they offered me and I walked away from you."

Harry opened his mouth, but Louis leveled gaze with a warning. 

"I went straight home to mum and told her everything. She was right pissed but told me I could make my own decisions. It was easy to avoid you after that. Granted you were trying to talk to me but it eventually got easier to ignore you. I knew it was for the best. We did our final performance and I didn't have to see you again. I'm sorry for the way I did it. I know I left you thinking you did something wrong, but they made sure I knew that you would lose it all if I didn't stay away. So I did. And it got easier until mum got sick. Lots and I did everything we could to help Dan. She took care of the kids and Dan and I took care of Mum. Her bills and treatments and nurses were just so much stress and work and cost so much. But it was all worth it to spend that time with her. I had to let Dan save his money for the kids' future, so I paid it all. I didn't think anything about it at the time because Steve and I were working on the single and I had other projects in the works. 

But then she died, Harry, she died. She wasn't supposed to die." Louis took a deep breath to gather himself to go on.

"Before she died she told me I needed to make things right with you. I told her I would try but we both knew I was just saying it to make her happy. I did give it a half hearted go with Steve to make it a success, I even had an album ready to be released. Probably not a very good one though, my heart wasn't in it anymore. Then you released your album and I literally hit a wall. The songs were just so you. They were raw, open, honest, and they let me see right into your heart and soul. A place I had no right to be any more, but yet there I was. I heard the album, Harry. I couldn't take it. It all reminded me of what I lost, what I threw away. So I broke my contract, tucked tail and ran. Only I didn't have anywhere to run. I had no job, very little savings, no future. I had sold the London flat when the realtor said you didn't want anything to do with it, so I had no hone either. So I simply started going by William Thomas and I got a job as a music teacher outside of Vegas."

Harry just looked at him quietly for a moment then asked, "Can I speak yet?"

"Not yet. Please just let me get this all out. There's something else you need to know. This isn't something I was planning on telling you. Ever. It's not something I planned on talking about to anyone. But Dr. Jerome feels that it's something that I really need to discuss with you. After Mum died,I didn't handle things very well. I didn't know how to express my grief. Lottie had Tommy and the babies. The girls had each other. I had lost contact with all of you, with Zayn, with Stan and Ollie for the most part. I was closed off from everyone. I was out of control. It seemed I had no control over my feelings, over my surroundings, over anything really. So I took control over what I could by falling back into all of my old habits. Smoking, drinking, some drugs, and not eating. Just like the old times. Happy days."

He saw Harry roll his eyes at that, knowing exactly what he thought of those days and those habits, how much those habits had cost them at times and the reasons he had bowed under pressure back then also. He could see guilt etched in Harry's features. He had to force himself to continue before he allowed himself to get sidetracked.

"Eventually things started getting better, but I liked the way it made me feel to not eat. It have me control over something. It gave me the power to punish myself for everything I've ever done wrong, every bad choice, wrong decision, it was all in my hands. The more I smoked and drank, the less I wanted to eat anyway. The drugs stopped right away. I didn't have the money to indulge often and I preferred a simple life of working, smoking, drinking, sleeping, doing it again. It went on for about a year. Then it began to affect my health. I had lost too much weight, I was dehydrated and ended up in the hospital. My best friend, a coworker at my school, stayed with me, made sure I got the help I needed and has stuck by me ever since. With her help, the best therapists, psychologists, and my determination, I've bounced back. But it's not easy. At times, when I'm really stressed, I still find myself wanting to say 'Hey, Louis, You know what? It's not worth it. You don't deserve it. Just stop.' Or 'God what a pig! What would people say, just go throw up already.' But then I remember the things learned. I am worth it. Me mum would be so much more heartbroken if she saw me like this. I need to get me shit together and get a real life. I can't go on like this. So, a friend, Chelsea, she works with me. She showed me this article about donating your eggs and surrogacy. I figured I'd do both. Just once for the surrogacy and a couple of donations and I'd have a good sized savings. Then I was going to contact Steve again and maybe get back into the business. I've done quite a bit of writing over the years and I think I could sell some. I've kept my voice strong privately. I was ready. I really believed I had healed and could put everything in the past and do it. Knowing the possibilities for the future. I had my doctor contact the clinic. We were totally honest upfront. He supplied all of my mental health reports, including the releases where it was stated that they believed I was a suitable candidate. And I was. The donations went smoothly. 

Dr. Jerome was hesitant at first but he spoke directly to my psychologist and was assured that I could do this. And it wouldn't have been a problem if it weren't for you. Sure, I love children and it will be difficult to carry a child and not keep it, but the fact that I could selflessly give that gift to someone was worth it. Dr. Jerome agreed with me and I passed all of his additional tests. That's what put me in this position.

And I would have been fine, I really would have. I knew I was doing something good, something positive. But Harry, these are your babies. Ours biologically. Emotionally, it has thrown me off. I'm sorry for that. I promise that I'm trying. I'm trying to eat. Chelsea has been staying with me. It's actually been the only thing keeping me sane. Lots was going to come over but her work schedule won't allow it. Now Chelsea has to go visit family the rest of the summer. She leaves in two days. And I just found out that the music program may be reduced to part-time, so it's going to leave a lot of time on my hands. I'm just having a hard time right now and I wasn't prepared to go through all of this alone. Not this. Not with you. I'll adjust. I'll get there. It will just take some time. But I promise I will take care of your children."

He finally stopped talking, both of their sandwiches long forgotten. Both staring into each other's eyes with unsaid words and shining tears.

"Lou. I didn't know. Why didn't you tell me? We could have fought them together. That was our plan. You know I would never have chosen music over you. My contract never stated that I couldn't come out. Quite the opposite. I made sure of that. I just never did because I couldn't without you by my side. The media basically determined I was bisexual but the words never left my mouth. I still to this day have never defined my sexuality publicly."

"Harry. That's why I had to do it for you. And look at you. A movie star, successful solo artist. You've won an Oscar, Grammys. None of that would have happened with me. I didn't know you could come out, they made that clear you couldn't. You know they had the power to sabotage careers. I couldn't do that to you. You were too important to me."

"But, Lou, none of it really mattered. I wasn't happy without you. I just did everything to keep myself busy So I wouldn't think about why you left, wondering what I did to make you leave. I would give it all up for you."

"But you did find your happiness again, Harry. You're successful. You're married. You're about to become a father. I'll do this for you. I'll give you this final gift and then I'll do what I do best. I'll go back to the UK, maybe dabble in music if I can find it in my heart again and get me head back on straight. You'll have the family you want and be free of me once and for all. I'm so sorry I messed this up. It's supposed to be an exciting time for you."

"Lou, you didn't mess anything up. I put my career on hold to have a child because I'll be doing it on my own. My marriage is a sham. She's basically blackmailing me to stay with her. We haven't be a real couple for as long as I can remember. She detests the idea of children. I've actually moved her into a separate house. I want a child so that I have at least one of the things I've always wanted. See, I'm not the happy guy the world sees, who you think I am. I'm lonely. I'm miserable. I miss you and think about you every day. You have to know that. Please tell me you know that."

"Please Haz. Don't do this. Just don't. I promised Dr. Jerome I'd tell you everything and I did. I really have to go now. See you at the next appointment, yeah?"

"Lou..."

"Goodbye Harry."

 

******

 

Harry was in shock as he explained the entire turn of events to Anne. She cried beside him on the couch. "If only Jay had said something. We could have talked to you both. Oh poor Jay. She knew how much that boy loves you."

"But mum she knew I loved him too. She knew I'd do anything for him. Why didn't she talk to me? She was like another mum to me. She had to know."

"She also knew Louis is stubborn and when he sets his mind to something there's no changing it. Do you think he will talk to me?"

"He had said he would. But that was before he told me everything. Can you please try Mum? Do you realize what this means? He really may still love me. You know I still love him. I always will. These babies are ours. Mum. Please."

"Oh Harry. It's not as simple as that. Don't forget, you are still married. That is something big. Louis would never cause problems there, even knowing what you told him. In his mind it would be scandalous and wrong on so many levels. Look at Jay's past relationships. You need to tread very lightly. He's skittish and scared. His emotions are a mess. His hormones are in overdrive. You need to be careful. Promise me Harry, promise me that you will do this on his terms."

"I'll try, Mum."

"Good boy. Now let's have lunch since it doesn't seem like you’ve eaten."

"Mum, Louis didn't eat either. And he was so upset. Do you think it would be ok to at least text him?"

"Why don't you let me, Love?"

"Alright. But could you do it now? He really needs to eat."

******

Louis was sitting in his empty hotel room. He had told Chelsea to head on back home to pack for her trip home. He was going to hang out here in LA until his next appointment and then decide what to do. He was thinking of calling up some of his old contacts to see about selling some of his work. Just as he finished what seemed to be his hundredth game of Candy Crush and was considering ordering room service, his phone buzzed with a message.

Unknown number: Hi Louis. This is Anne. I hope you don't mind that Harry have me your number. If so, I won't bother you any more.

A slight smile crossed his lips. He had missed Anne. He wasted no time in replying.

Louis: Not at all. I'm glad to hear from you.

 

He paused before hitting send, wondering if he should add something more. He decided that was enough and sent it.

The reply came within minutes.

Unknown number: I was wondering if we could get together for tea before you leave to go back home if you haven't already.

He barely hesitated this time. He missed Anne. He really missed her. And maybe she could offer him some of the comfort his own mum couldn't during this time. He quickly saved her number to his phone.

Louis: I'd like that

Anne: Do you have time this evening? Or tomorrow?

Louis: I'm actually free now. Was about to order room service but I could meet you somewhere.

Anne: Sounds great. You choose the place.

Louis quickly grabbed the hotel pamphlet to see what was close. There was a Starbucks a few blocks away. The walk would be refreshing.

He texted Anne the address and asked her to give him time to grab a shower and walk there. She promised to be there and to come alone.

Feeling a little better, Louis grabbed some joggers and a clean shirt and headed to the ensuite. 

After fussing with his hair a little nervously, he headed out into the early evening breeze. It was a nice walk and he felt lighter than he had in awhile.

******

He spotted her immediately. She was as beautiful as always. The years didn't seem to have aged her a bit. When she saw him, she quickly stood up and opened her arms to him. It felt natural to slip into them for a bone crushing hug.

"Oh my boy, look at you. I've missed you so so much. How are you?"

"Well... That's a loaded question. I'm sure you know mostly how I am."

"No, I know of the situation. I want to know how you are. You. I'm not here because of Harry or the babies, though I am concerned about all of you on that front. But I'm here for you. I'll ask again. How are you, Boo?"

At the nickname, Louis actually allowed the tears He had been holding to finally fall.

"Oh Boo, it's alright. It really will be ok." She hugged him tightly again. "Let's sit shall we?"

"Yeah. I'm just gonna go get some tea and a sandwich. What would you like?"

"Just get me whatever you're having. You know I prefer my tea like you. Just a little milk. Unless it's changed."

"No, course not. I'll be right back."

While he was at the counter Anne sent off a quick text to Harry letting him know that he had arrived and was getting a sandwich. Then she put her phone away. 

Once Louis returned, she was ready to devote her full attention to him.

He sat down and they unwrapped their turkey bacon wraps.

"So."

"Yeah, so." He said with a little laugh. "Guess we have a little mess here don't we?"

"Oh honey. I'm so sorry for what all you've been through. I hope you aren't angry at Harry for telling me about it."

"No. He had a right to know. And so do you. I'm just feeling a bit overwhelmed. And I and just really missing me mum right now."

"If course you are. Please know that I'm here for you, Lou. I may be Harry's mum, but you've always been like a son to me. I want to be there for you too. You know that, right?"

"Yeah. It's just hard. Hard to believe that all of you don't hate me because of what I did, what I put you through."

"Boo, none of us could ever hate you. If anything, it's Simon for what he put you through. No one should have to go through what you did. And when you lost Jay, you should have been able to lean on all of us. We wanted to be there for you but you were in such a bad place, it wasn't the right time to try to talk to you. I'm so sorry you didn't feel like you could talk to us. Louis We all love you. All of us. We never stopped. Please know that. You are a part of our family. Now more than ever."

"That's just it, Anne. I can't be a part of your family again not now, not after this. I thought I could do this because I would be helping a family fulfill their dreams. I can never be around your family after this, seeing these babies, these babies who are a part of Harry and a part of me. Something we always dreamed of. I can't just watch them grow up and not be a part of their lives. That would kill me. I'll have to get as far away as possible."

"Louis, do you really think we would let that happen? This may have happened in extremely unconventional circumstances, but I believe this was meant to be. Harry and I haven't talked about the future, but I do know that he has been trying to get away from Emily for a long time now. I know he has never stopped wanting you, wanting a family with you. Maybe this is fate's way of doing what you two couldn't do for yourselves. We all know fate brought you together. Please, keep an open mind, Louis. Please."

Louis sat there with his mouth open. He didn't know what to say. He suddenly wasn't hungry any more. He actually felt like the few bites he had taken were about to come back up.

"Umm.. Thanks for everything, Anne. I really need to go. I'm just not feeling too well. Let's talk soon, yeah?" 

With that he quickly stood up and practically ran out the door. Anne stood staring after him with tears in her eyes. "Oh Boo."

******

Later that evening Anne and Harry sat watching the waves from his balcony. He was crying over her story of the conversation she had with Louis. 

"Mum, what am I going to do?"

"Baby, let's take this one day at a time, ok? From what I did get out of him, He is planning to stay in LA for a little while. You will see him at the next appointment in two weeks, right? Let's see if he's in a better mindset then. I do know that boy still loves you with all his heart. For now, let's focus on getting Emily out of your life, yeah?"

"And just how do I do that?"

"We'll find a way, Baby. We have every reason in the world to now."

******

"What do you mean they don't like my attitude?" Emily screeched two days later.

"I don't know, that's what they said. But if it's anything like you have here I can't blame them," Harry huffed back at her. "Listen, I want you to get a part here. Nolan films are a big deal. But you have to give him something to work with. Anything. Please just tone down the attitude, yeah? You'll never get a part if you don't. I'll make sure of it," he gritted. He was so tired and he was finally going to play hardball with her.

"What do you mean?"

"It means you've destroyed enough of my life. I'm doing my best to get you what you want. If you get a part, don't you think you'll have to take direction? Listen to someone? Follow a script? You can't just do what you want on set. To get the parts you need to follow directions too. Get with it. Do what you need to. Work for it. You sure worked hard enough to get me. Now do it to get something else you want."

He had not been this angry in a long while. He had her in tears which felt good. Maybe she would listen now. "You have an interview in the morning with an agent. A good agent. She has a lot of connections. She may even be able to get you a good part, a part in the Nolan film that you already screwed up with. But you need to put aside that arrogance and almighty 'you know best' attitude and listen for once. Do it. If you want to act then act like it. This is it. I'm not putting my neck out again. Just get the job, go on with your life, take a huge settlement from me and move on. I want peace. For me and for my family. I've already involved an attorney and he's ready if need be. My mum has been talking to the staff. They are prepared to testify, as well as family, friends, neighbours, hell even some of your own family. You've become a very ugly, nasty person, Emily. People don't like that.”

"You wouldn't. You aren't like that."

"Wouldn't I? You don't know what I'm like any more. Sometimes I don't either." Without another word he left her standing there speechless. He really was tired. Everything was starting to get to him. He was thinking about asking Dr. Jerome about a reference to a therapist for himself. It couldn't hurt.

******

 

The next day Harry was surprised to get another call from Dr. Jerome's clinic. It was still a little over a week before the next scheduled appointment. He almost missed the call because he was on his morning run, but he managed to hit the accept button just in time. His call was immediately put through to the doctor personally.

"Harry, I'm glad we reached you. Are you available right now?"

"Of course. What's wrong?"

"I don't want to alarm you, but Louis was brought into the ER at Los Robles Medical Center a couple of hours ago. I'm on my way there now so I'm not sure what the situation is. The physician who called did say that he was stable and the babies were not in immediate danger, so that's promising. I thought you would like to meet me there."

"Of course. We are on our way. I just have to get back to my house, grab my mum, some clothes and the car. Where do I go?"

"Back entrance. I'll have them expecting you."

"Ok. See you then. Thank you doc."

He quickly called Anne and asked that she have a duffel of clothes ready in the car waiting for when he arrived so they could head out. They were there within the hour.

"Harry Styles for Louis Tomlinson, Dr. Jerome's patient. I am expected." Harry rushed out before he even stopped in front of the reception desk. 

"Of course. They have moved him to a private room. 13 B 127. I just need you to fill out these financial responsibility forms."

Harry jotted down his attorney's address. "Just send all the bills and expenses to this address. We will write a check immediately. Now could you please point me in the right direction?"

Soon Harry and Anne were standing outside of Louis' room waiting on Dr. Jerome to come out with an update, which seemed like hours instead of the minutes that it was. 

"Harry, Anne" He greeted them with handshakes and a grim expression. "Let's sit."

"I don't like the sound of this, please just tell me." Harry murmured as Anne rubbed his back.

"Physically, all three are fine. Emotionally, Louis is struggling. A cleaning lady at the hotel found him throwing up in his room and crying. He was running a fever. Harry, he's lost a little more weight. It appears he hasn't eaten. I think he was dry heaving because his body was rebelling. The babies need nourishment. We have him sedated and IVs running and we are keeping him for a few days, but we need a solution long term. I know he isn't doing it on purpose this time.."

"No, he isn't," Anne cut him off. "I just had tea with him a few days ago. He really was trying to eat. He just got so upset. He ran."

"That's what I thought. This is very hard on him and it's taking a toll on his body which is dangerous for the twins. We may need to intervene in some way, keep someone with him at all times until his body readjusts and he can tolerate food. Reduce his stress. Make sure he's making healthy choices."

"He'll move in with us," Harry said without a pause.

"Baby, he said to lower stress. I don't think that would be a good idea," Anne said patiently.

"No, Mum. Listen. It's perfect. He won't even have to see me if he doesn't want to. He can have the guest house. You can stay with him or at least spend the majority of your time there. The cook can make healthy meals with the foods that he likes. I'll stay away. We can make sure that no one knows he's there and he can rest and relax all he needs."

"I'll talk to him Harry," Anne promised, "but if he says no, we will come up with something else. Maybe I can get a room at the hotel next to him. If he wants to go home, either to Nevada our Doncaster, I will go with him. We want him to be comfortable and relaxed and you will have to accept that maybe out involves removing yourself from the equation. This is already hard on him. He has shown us that several times. You need to think of him right now and what's best for him, yeah?"

"This is so hard, Mum."

"I know, Honey. But let's see how it goes. Dr. Jerome, can I see him?"

"As I said, he is sedated, I think it would be best if we let him rest for a couple of hours, then it would be better if I talked to him first to make sure he's up for it."

"If course. We will just wait."

"I can call you once I know if there is any change in his condition."

"No. We stay." Harry was adamant.

"Alright. There is a waiting lounge right down the hall to the left. There are several coffee and food options here in the hospital and a Starbucks nearby. I'll be in touch as soon as I know something."

"Thank you."

 

******

Several hours later, after a trip to one of the hospital coffee shops for sandwiches and drinks, Anne was sitting in the lounge, Harry was pacing, when Dr. Jerome found them.

"Anne, he's awake and would like to see you."

With a squeeze to, Harry's shoulder and a kiss on his cheek, she followed the doctor to Louis' room.

"Oh Boo, how are you feeling? You gave us quite the scare."

"Sorry. Anne, I'm just horrible at this. I'm so irresponsible. How am I going to last the entire pregnancy? It's too hard?" Louis whispered as he started crying.

"Oh hush. Baby, you know I'm here for you. Whatever you need, I'm there. In fact. We think we may have a solution. But you need to hear me out, ok? No interruptions?"

"It sounds like i'm not going to like this," he groaned.

"I promise it will work, Boo. Just listen with an open mind, yeah?"

He nodded silently waiting on her to go on.

"Ok. Dr. Jerome said they are going to be keeping you here a few days to get you stable with your fluid intake at least. Then they want someone with you at all times. I know you don't like that idea, I can tell by the look on your face, but it has to be this way, Boo. You have to eat and eat healthy. So we have come up with two options and I really hope you will consider one of them. If you don't like either of these, we can work to find something you do agree with, but Louis, you need to cooperate in this too. Alright?"

He nodded, hanging his head, waiting on her to go on.

"So, the easiest solution would be to have you move into the guest house on Harry's property."

Louis' head snapped up at that and he gave Anne a sharp look.

"I know, I know, it doesn't seem ideal. But the house is pretty big, I would be staying with you, it is completely away from the main house and you wouldn't have to worry about running into Harry at all. The cook could prepare you healthy meals, you could use the pool for exercise, and come and go as you please through a private entrance."

Louis seemed to be considering it. "You said there was another option?"

"Yes. It's less optimal, but still workable. If you aren't comfortable coming to the guest house, then I would get a room at the hotel you are at, preferably next to yours, and we could spend our time there. We could either have our cook bring the meals or special order from room service and I would keep you company and be there to help you. I want to be there for you and with you, Louis. It's been too long. You need family right now, Boo, and we are family. We always were and always will be."

Louis met her eyes finally. He looked conflicted. "Only Lottie knows that I'm a surrogate and she doesn't know the situation. She would come if she could, but she's basically raising the twins full time with Tommy so Dan can work. He's still not dealing too well himself. I just can't ask her. But I can't ask you either, Anne. I gave up that right years ago. It's great that you asked. But I can't."

"Baby, you're not asking anything. I'm offering. I want to. You are family. And those are my grandbabies. What did I tell you the other day? You are going to be in their lives too. This is important. Please let me help."

"Can I think about it?"

"Of course."

"Thank you."

"Honey there is no need to thank me. That's what family is for. I do have another question. You can say no of course. But Harry has been here for hours with me. He's worried. Not just about the babies, but about you too. Could he see you? Just for a bit? It doesn't have to be right now, but soon, yeah?"

"Yeah, yeah. Alright. I know I've kind of been selfish. I'm not a very good surrogate. This is supposed to be a happy time for him. I've kind of messed that up for him."

"Nonsense. You are doing just fine. You are just having a hard time. I'm sure a lot of surrogates have the same issues. Don't you dare start worrying about Harry. He can deal with it."

"I do worry. But yeah, he can come in."

"Ok. If you are sure. I'll go fetch him. If you need anything I'm be right outside. It will be ok, Boo. I promise."

"Not sure about that. But I'll talk to him."

"Thank you, Louis. I'll send him in."

After Anne left the room, Louis laid back in the bed, trying to get his mind together, get himself prepared. But nothing could have prepared him for the disheveled mess of Harry that crept tentatively through his door a few moments later.

"Hi."

"Hey."

"How are you feeling?"

"Better, I think. At least I think so. Can't feel much worse, I suppose," he kind of laughed.

"Lou, I'm so sorry. I know you aren't doing well. I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. I know this isn't what you had planned for."

"No, it really isn't. But is it wrong to say that a part of me is glad that it's you? I mean, we never got it right when we were together, but at least I get to experience it in some way. That probably sound strange, but it's how I feel on some level."

"It's not strange at all, Lou. I kind of feel the same way."

He sat down in a chair by Louis' bed. "We're a mess, aren't we?"

Louis laughed a little huff. "You could say that again."

"I could make a pun ya know."

"Oh please no, I don't think I'm ready for that," Louis laughed.

"At least we broke the ice," Harry replied. "Louis, I really am sorry for all of this. I know this has to be hard. It is for me too. Maybe you don't want to hear it yet, but I do still care. I never stopped. Yeah, I was angry that you could just walk away. Confused. But I still cared. Still do."

"I know Haz."

They were both a little surprised at the familiar nickname. "I know now that it was wrong. I guess I knew it then. Mum kept telling me that. But I thought I was doing the right thing. I wanted the best for you. Still do."

"The best thing for me was always you," murmured Harry.

"But what's done is done, Harry. It is what it is," Louis gave a sad smile.

"Yes, what's done is done. And right now, you are carrying my children. So will you please let me look after you. At least look after them? I'm sure Mum told you I'll stay away if that's what you want. I just need to know that you are alright and healthy. All of you."

"I appreciate it, Harry, I really do. And I know out comes from a good place in your heart that's not just for the children. I just don't want everyone so disappointed in me because I can't take care of meself and these babes. It's me job. It's what I'm being paid tip do and quite frankly I suck at it. I feel like I'm giving up by having to have a babysitter."

"That's not it a at all, Lou. I know you aren't not taking care of yourself because you don't want to or are trying to hurt med it anything. You are simply struggling. It's gotta be hard. Hell it's hard for me at times to drink a bottle of water and swallow the bite in my mouth when I remember the situation. There are many emotions. I can't even imagine the ones you are having being the one actually carrying the babies. Please let me help, Lou, please."

"I...um...can it still be the way your mum said? I won't really have to see you unless I choose to? I'm not trying to be mean, Harry, I'm not. I just don't think it's a wise move right now. I need to focus on getting healthy and being around you tends to interfere with me ability to focus. I think I stay in me head too much and that's when I forgot to drink and I couldn't make meself eat. I need to do this right, yeah?"

"Of course. Anything you need. You will let Mum stay though, right?"

"Yeah. How can I say no to Anne? I've missed her so much!"

"She's missed you too," Harry said and smiled sadly, thinking that she wasn't the only one.

******

 

Harry kept his word. He left the hospital that day, Anne staying with Louis for awhile longer to make plans for them to get settled into the guest house when he was released. She visited each day as Harry sent someone to gather Louis' things from the hotel to bring to the house. Anne herself set the house up, giving Louis the master suite with the view of the Pacific. She settled into a room on the opposite end of the little house to give him his privacy. Harry made sure the kitchen staff loaded the kitchen with plenty of healthy foods, snacks, drinks, and also many of Louis' old favorite snacks, figuring he may have some cravings. He also arranged for the cook to prepare the meals each day for Louis and his mum. Harry would be spending his time alone in the studio apparently. 

Everything was ready for the doctors to decide that Louis was nutritionally stable enough to be released. 

The third morning after Louis agreed to stay, Anne had already left for the hospital and Harry's treadmill time was interrupted by a screaming Emily. 

"What the fuck, Em? Why do you think it's alright to barge in here screeching at me before 7 am? Hell, the sun's barely out yet! And why are you even here? You don't live here anymore, remember?" Harry grumbled.

"Oh I remember. You don't have to remind me of your childish little tantrum. I was just coming to get the last of my clothes. The suit that I need for today's meeting with my agent is here. Yes, you heard that right, I have an agent. So just go ahead and get your papers in order, make sure my settlement is newsworthy, and let's get this done. I have a few auditions lined up and I want to be free to make it on my own."

"Yeah, ok. I'll get right on that. I'm sure everyone already knows you did it all on your own. As long as I don't have to suffer through your ridiculousness and neither do my children, then the settlement is worth every penny."

"Children? What children? What are you on about?"

"Nothing that concerns you, Emily. The surrogate is having twins. I really want this to be a happy time in my life, so can you please not ruin it? I'll get the settlement drawn up. You'll get your home, car, all your stuff, the settlement, yeah? Then I can just focus on my life and my impending fatherhood. Ok?"

"So can't wait to get rid of the mother of your children then?"

"Excuse me, but since no eggs of yours were used, you are technically not the mother of anything, unless of course you get a role playing one on tv. Now, if you'll excuse me, I really need to go shower. Paul, can you please help Emily carry the last of her things out and then get all of her keys to our property? Her things are all in a couple of tubs in the garage."

"Sure thing, Boss."

"Thanks. I'm heading to the shower." 

“Why are my things boxed up? Now they are probably wrinkled. Those are designer. Harry, you know how important that is! And why the garage? Harry? Harry!!??” He smirked as he noticed Emily's huff as she struggled to keep up with Paul.

Harry heard from his mum a few hours later that she was bringing Louis home. It took everything he had to not run over to the guest house, but he would honor his promise. He did message his mum to see if Louis needed anything from his house in Vegas. He offered to have someone go fetch his things or to have someone drive him there to get things himself. They decided to wait to see how things here went for a while first. So Harry decided to head to the studio for awhile. 

On the way over, he had an idea. He opened up a group message between himself, Niall and Liam, asking if they would be interested in meeting at the studio sometime soon to catch up and maybe have a writing session. He knew it was a long shot, but it was worth it to give it a try. None of them were touring or working on a new album that he knew of, maybe this was their chance. It didn't take long to get their replies. They were both free one day next week and Harry couldn't wait. He messaged them the address and said he would be there all afternoon that day.

The following week was a test for Harry. He would sit in his room and watch the lights of the guest house, knowing Louis was there and that he couldn't go be with him, even to just say hi. But he had promised to give him his space. His mum said that he was doing better, not great, but that he was trying. Harry was trying to send over special little snacks that he knew Louis used to love. He hoped that it would boost his appetite.

Finally the day arrived that he was waiting for. Niall was the first to arrive at the studio, grabbing Harry in a headlock like old times, holding up a six pack. Harry laughed and grabbed a bottle. 

"So, what up, Mate? Is this just a jam session out of the blue? Are you dying? Do you want us in your next film?" He grinned.

"Nah, none of that. Though I wouldn't mind jamming some if you guys are up for it. Let's just wait until Li gets here, yeah?"

"Did I hear someone call my name?" Liam laughed as he surged into the room full force into the embrace of his two bandmates.

"Yeah, I was just trying to get Harry to spill about why we summoned were here out of the blue. He won't say until you arrived. Now he's here, Harry, so out with it!"

"Man, can't a guy want to catch up with his mates?"

"Yeah, a man can. But why now, Harry? What's going on?" asked Niall, observing Harry's nervousness.

"Ok, Ok... So. There have been some... Um... Well, um... Recent developments in my personal life. It got me thinking that maybe in the near future, like next year maybe, we could start working on an album. A reunion album. Then plan a reunion tour."

Both of them looked at Harry, jaws dropped. "But, but the hiatus, doing our own things, that's what you wanted. What about your movies, your music? You know we've slowed down, but we don't even know how to reach Tommo."

"About that... I've kind of been in touch."

"What?" they said at the same time.

"Yeah. Long story. But um.. He's kinda living in my guest house."

The boys just stared at him, mouths open, "what? When did this happen?" demanded Niall.  
"Um.. We aren't together or anything, but remember how Emily and I were using a surrogate? Well, surprise... It ended up being Louis."

"Mate, come on. Stop joking. Number one, were you even serious about the baby thing? Last we knew, you couldn't even stand Emily," said  
Niall, obviously exasperated. "And do you seriously expect us to believe that Louis just volunteered to be a surrogate for you, after everything?" Liam added.

"It's a little more complicated than that," Harry started.

"I'll bet. Let's hear this story you expect us to believe, Haz," laughed Niall. "Then you can explain why we're really here."

"I know it sounds impossible. I was just as shocked as you, believe me, but it's true. So, um... Well... Emily and I we, as in we together, weren't serious about a baby. But I've never been more serious about anything in my life. You both know how much I love kids and that I've always wanted to be a dad. Anyway, Em and I haven't been together in quite awhile. But she wants something from me. Money, the name, entertainment contacts, whatever... And I just wanted a child. So we sort of had an agreement. I'd work on helping her get a manager and some movie contacts and she would not stand in my way any longer of having a child. It's not that she can't conceive or carry a baby, it's that she doesn't want to. So I opted for surrogacy. It's... Well, it's my DNA, and she will have no claim to the babies."

 

"Whoa mate, you telling us you're gonna do this again?" Asked Niall as a stunned Liam just nods along.

"No, course not. Louis' carrying twins. I'm expecting twins!"

"So, this really isn't a joke? You are having twins with a surrogate? And the surrogate IS Louis? Wow!" Exclaimed Liam.

Niall swats him over the head.  
"Wow? Liam. Really? Wow. That's all you can come up with to say? How about HOW? Or simply ‘what the fuck, Harry?’"

"I know, I know. It wasn't planned. I didn't choose the surrogate. Dr. Jerome did. He only went off the details I gave him such as no brown eyes or blonde hair. High IQ, British heritage if possible, stuff like that. Louis has been a music teacher in the Vegas area under the name William Thomas. There was no way to associate the two of us. The doctor isn't a fan, so he didn't recognise his photo from the band. Our first meeting was at his 8 week check up. It was already too late to back out. It was already done. We both were surprised to say the least, but Louis freaked out and ran. It's been tense ever sense."

"I thought you said he was living with you now?"

"No he's in the guest house with Mum. He's had some minor medical complications and the doctor didn't want him alone."

Niall burst out laughing. "So of course you just move him in! What about Lots? She could come stay with him. Hell, even Lou and Lux live here now. I'm sure he could have stayed there. One of his friends? He could have reached out to one of us? You just swooped in to save the day?"

Liam added, "Harry, you have to know this is a recipe for disaster!!"

"Don't you think I know that? Lots can't come over, his one friend from his school is spending the rest of the summer with her family. She has been the one helping him up until now. He doesn't have many friends. Neither of us thought of Lou, he hasn't been in touch with her for as long as it's been with us. Just why we never thought of you. Plus he's probably feeling a little embarrassed right now about not being in contact. His emotions are all over the place. Mum just insisted on being the one to help and it was easier to do it with him in the guest house. I promised I'd keep my distance."

"And yet here you are talking to us about a reunion. Wouldn't that give you plenty of excuses to see him? Like almost every day?"

"Well we talked. He mentioned that he had done a lot of writing and was thinking of getting back into the music business. This would be a good start. He's going through alot right now. This would be an easy first step for him. Help him ease back slowly with something he's familiar with. After our reunion, we could all go our separate ways again and I'd hope by then he'd have found his footing and can do something he wants."

"So this is for Louis and not for you?"

"Of course it's for me too. You both know how I feel about him. And now he's carrying my children? Our children? They are biologically his too. Of course I can't help but to want to be around him. But I also want to help him. It's the least I do. But I can't approach him about a reunion if you two aren't on board. So what do you say? We did promise the fans we would be back, yeah?"

"Oh Harry, I have a really bad feeling about this, but you know I've always been ready to get band back together. I'm in." Niall practically shouted.

Liam nodded. "It's time."

"Ok. I'll talk to him. Once I do, would you both like to come over? A long as he agrees, of course.”

"Definitely," they chorused.

They left the studio after a round of hugs and promised to talk soon. Harry left feeling lighter than he had in awhile.

 

******

"Mum, I just want to talk to him."

"Harry please. It's only been a little over a week. You promised. I understand how you must feel. From the way he's acting and talking, especially about the past, I'd say it's hard for him to stay away from you too. But this is probably for the best for right now."

"But Mum, it's not about me, or him, or even the babies. It's about the band. He had mentioned that he was maybe interested in looking into music again once this was over. I just talked to Niall and Liam today. They are both in for a reunion. But I need to talk to Louis. As soon as I have his reaction, then Niall and Liam are prepared to come over and talk. Mum the four of us haven't talked in years. They haven't seen him or heard from him for as long as I hadn't."

"And Harry, don't you think there was a reason for that? Maybe springing them on him right now in the middle of this isn't such a good idea. You have to think about Louis. He may not want to face them right now. Would you in his position? Harry, you have to understand how he feels, what he's going through."

A small voice asked in the background, "I may not want to face who? What has Harry done now?" He huffed and rolled his eyes.

"Oh Boo, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you. Don't worry about it."

"No. You may as well go ahead and tell me, Anne. I'm sure he will find a way to let me know anyway. Face who?"

"Well dear, it seems that my knucklehead of a son has been talking to Niall and Liam and they want to come for a visit."

"Ugh," Louis rolled his eyes again. "And the little shit didn't bother to ask me first if it was alright to share my personal business?"

"That's what it seems and that's what I just told him off for."

"Can I talk to him please?"

"Of course, Boo."

"Harold."

"Lou, listen. I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I was just excited. I had this idea. Please just hear me out."

"Hmm"

"Look, I didn't go to Niall and Liam to talk about our personal situation, although I did need to make them aware of it when they found out you were staying here. They of course jumped to the wrong conclusion of us being together again. But I called them to talk about the prospect of us reuniting as a band. Next year, of course, after everything settles down here. Put together an album first, then a reunion tour. We did promise the fans. What better time?"

"Oh, I don't know Harry? What better time? How about sometime other than after I haven't just had your children and had to hand them over without even a thought to the fact that they are half biologically mine? How about when I don't have to do studio time, recording time, and a tour listening to you gush over how they are doing, watching them from the sidelines knowing that I will never be a part of their lives?"

"Oh Lou, you know that isn't how it will be. I already told you that you will always be a part of their lives."

"Yeah, a part of their lives, good ol' uncle Lou, just like Niall and Liam, and of course the babymaking machine that I am. A human incubator so that the wonderful Harry Styles gets the family that he wants while my life just goes on as empty as ever, no mum, no family around, playing part-time uncle and babysitter like we all did with Lux for all those years. I can't do that Harry. Seeing these babies every day and not being able to claim them will just be too hard. Why don't you three do a reunion without me? You never needed me anyway," he choked out.

Harry gasped, "Lou, you can't honestly believe that. The band wouldn't be us without you. If you aren't in, then we won't do it. Nevermind. It was a stupid idea. I'm sorry. I messed up once again. I'll call the lads. I'm sure they'll still want to see you but you can do that whenever you are feeling up to it. I'll just leave you alone. I should have listened to Mum."

"Yeah, Harry you should have. I think Anne has a better grasp on this situation than you do. We can't go back Harry. I said you can be a part of this pregnancy. I won't deny you that. Appointments and the delivery. Then I will hand you your children and walk away as the contract states. A complete break. I don't want to see you or hear from you after that, got it?"

"Lou..."

"Goodnight Harry."

The line went dead as the tears started rolling down Harry's cheeks. He went into his room, looked out of the sliding doors over the guest house at the Pacific with an overwhelming sense of sadness as loss. He turned and laid on the top of his bed, not bothering to undress. He let the hot tears fall as the memories flooded his mind. That's the last thing he remembered until he woke up in the morning.

******

 

As the sun filtered through the window, Harry knew he had slept later than usual. And he had a renewed sense of urgency. He knew what he had to do. The first call he made was to his attorney. It took some time, but papers finally in hand, he walked quickly to the guest house. He wasn't prepared for the sight that greeted him.

There was Louis, in small blue swim trunks, his skin kissed golden from the years of living in the Nevada desert. That bum still as round and firm as ever, climbing out of the pool. His throat suddenly dry. Not wanting to startle Louis and make him slip on the edge of the pool, he held his breath until the older boy was back in his lounge chair. Then he walked over as calmly as he could, noticing the dark circles under those beautiful blue eyes that once held so much life and promise.

"Damn, Harry, what part of leave me alone except for appointments did you not understand?" asked Louis, now starting to get angry.

"Lou, I have some papers here for you. I spoke with my attorney this morning."

At the mention of the attorney, fear flashed in Louis' blue eyes. "Wha..what are you on about? I told you last night that I would abide by your contract."

"That's just it, Louis. I don't want the contract anymore. I'm calling it off. I already ended.You are free to go. The entire fee has already been deposited into account on file, including enough for living expenses, medical bills, even enough to get you set up in your own place in London or Doncaster if that's what you want. I'm signing off all rights of the twins to you. I can't do this to you any longer. I can't do it to you."

"Harry what are you on about? These twins are yours. The only reason they are here is because of you. I signed that contract and I'm not about to go back on it now."

"I didn't ask you to go back on out. I am. I've already canceled the contract. There is no contact. I've had my attorney contact Dr. Jerome and he's aware that I'm handing all rights over to you. You can feel free to continue your care with him or wherever you choose. It's all here." Harry handed Louis a thick envelope.

"Now, I've made arrangements to be out of the country for awhile. I care about you Louis. I always have and I always will. I hope you start feeling better now. I'm sorry I was the cause of so much of your pain. Relax, eat, take care of yourself and the babies." Harry choked out the last words as he turned and walked out, ignoring Louis' cries for him to come back.

******

"I've told you. That's it, Anne, that's all he said. Then he handed me these papers, said he was leaving the country for awhile and just walked away. I tried to get him to come back, but he just kept going, just walked away. Just like I did to him over five years ago. Only this time, he didn't just leave me, but he left these two innocent, perfect babies. What have I done, Anne? He wants these children so much. But he thinks I'm too weak to give them up, so he gave them up instead. He did that for me." 

Louis was crying so hard he was on the verge of a panic attack. Anne knew that she had to calm Louis down and get him to sleep. He had been pacing and crying and ranting between despair and anger for the past 12 hours since Harry had visited him with the legal documents, then left. 

She knew that he desperately needed sleep. She had been making sure that he was sipping water throughout the day but she doubted that the sips he had taken were enough. He had only nibbled a few crackers and some cheese. "Louis. I know you're upset, and rightfully so. But you need to stop right now with the pacing. Go blow your nose, wash your face, and change into some fresh clothes," she said in a firm yet loving tone. 

"I'm going to warm up some of the soup from last night and make you some tea. Then you are going to get some rest. Understand? We will figure out everything else tomorrow, yeah?" Louis nodded at her with his red-rimmed blue eyes and headed toward his suite.

Anne knew she had a long night ahead of her. Second on her list after getting Louis to bed was tracking down her son. She knew in his mind he was helping Louis, but this was obviously not the way to do it, and she knew he must be hurting deeply himself right now. Sighing to herself, she placed a bowl of beefy vegetable soup in the microwave to heat for Louis as she put the kettle on for tea.

By the time he returned, Anne had the soup with some crusty bread warmed up and a steaming cuppa ready at the table for Louis. "Now, no more talk or thoughts about Harry tonight, alright? You are exhausted. I want to to finish eating and then get a good night's sleep."

Louis opened his mouth to speak but Anne shushed him. "I know you think it will be hard to sleep, but Boo, you are so tired. Just let yourself relax. Feel the tea seep through your body and just let everything go. Ok? Promise me you will at least try?"

He nodded as she stood and kissed the top of his head. "Now, love, look at that, you've nearly finished the entire bowl. Would you like more?"

"No thank you," he muttered as he tried to hold back a yawn.

"Do you want me to come sit with you until you fall asleep?" she offered.

Again he declined. "I think you were right. I feel like I've hit a wall. I can barely keep my eyes open." 

"Ok, love. Do you think you will be alright here while I run over to the main house for a bit? Since Harry decided to leave, I figured I'd just get the rest of my things to stay here with you so I don't need to go back there as often and to make arrangements for our meals. Is that ok?"

"That's fine, Anne. I'm just going to sleep."

"Ok. Don't hesitate to call if you need anything, yeah?"

"Course."

Anne made sure he was getting settled into his bed before she made her way up the path to the main house.

 

******

She noticed that all of the lights are off. She saw the darkness from the guest house, but was hoping that at least one of the staff would still be here. She dashed off a quick note about their meals, knowing that Harry would have made sure that that someone would be there in the morning to prepare breakfast. After that she went to Harry's office to see if she could find out where he went. All she found there was that his computer was turned off and there was an empty vodka bottle and a glass sitting on the desk.

Not deterred, she headed to Harry's suite. As she opened the door, she heard a muffled sob. Flipping the lights on, she hurried to the bed, "oh baby, talk to me. What is going on in your head and heart?"

"I can't Mum. It's too much. I can't do this to him any more. He constantly reminds me that once they are born they will be ripped from him and he's going to be hurting because they aren't his and he will be gone again. I did this. I'm the one who hurt him yet again. It was my solo deal that made him leave the first time and now this. I just can't. Not again. I love him too much. I love him, Mum, I really do. I never stopped."

Anne looked at his tear streaked face. "Oh Baby, I know you do. And he loves you just as much. He just hasn't said it out loud yet. You know, these babies aren't yours or his, they are both of yours, together. Granted, they were conceived in a different circumstance, but just like seven years ago when you two thought he was pregnant, it wasn't the perfect timing, but you were both excited and ready to embrace it together. Just because this started out unconventional doesn't mean that it's any less meaningful. You are allowed to both be a part of it. Both be excited and embrace it together."

"But what if he doesn't want to, Mum?"

"Then you accept it, Harry. I'm sure he will come around eventually, but not being together romantically doesn't mean that you can't have children together. Raise them together. Co-parenting isn't that hard today. And neither of you should have to give up your children for the sake of the other. Harry, you may have thought you were helping him, but you should have seen him today. He was a mess. He didn't eat all day until I forced him to before I sent him to bed. I'm really worried about him. This not eating is getting out of control. It's something that my help isn't enough for. He needs you, Harry. But you two need to sit down and talk. Promise me, Harry, yeah?"

"I have a lot to think about. I have a flight scheduled for the morning. I was going to see Gem. So you think you can take care of him for a few days? I promise I won't be long. Gems always helps me see things more clear. I think I need my big sis."

"And I think Louis needs you. So don't be an idiot and screw it up. Now I'm going back down there to take care of that boy. You better do the right thing Harry Edward."

******

The next morning, Anne was up when breakfast arrived. She set the table with the vegetable, ham and cheese omelettes, toast, fruit, and tea. Then she went to wake Louis. 

"Ungh.. Wanna sleep."

"Boo, breakfast is here. You can rest some after breakfast, but you really do need to eat."

"Not hungry."

"Louis William Tomlinson, you get your arse out of this bed and feed those babies right now or I will bring a tray in here and force feed you. I know this is hard for you, I do. But these are my grandbabies. Now get up."

Louis quickly sat up, tears shining in his eyes, stammering, "um.. yeah.. Ok. Sorry. I wasn't trying to, well... maybe I was, but not intentionally. I'll be right there. Just give me a minute to wee."

Anne smiled as she made her way back to the kitchen where Louis joined her a few minutes later. As he sat there in his boxers and old band shirt that she was positive was Harry's, he started picking at his food, artfully rearranging it and taking small bites. "Do you want to talk?"

"Um..I don't think so, no."

"Louis, I can see what you're doing. You are still barely eating and you are trying your damndest to hide those feelings. You still love him, don't you?"

"What makes you think that?"

"Oh Boo. You never stopped. Just like he never stopped loving you. You left him because you thought it was best for his career. You loved him enough to walk away. And he thought it was what you wanted, so he loved you enough to let you."

"He told me that his contract never said he couldn't come out. He could have fought for me, for us. But he didn't."

"And you didn't either. You were both young and in love and thought you were doing what was best. Now you are older and know better. And now there is more at stake. So you really want to let him walk away?"

"How can I stop him? I don't even know where he went."

"What if I tell you that I know?"

"What, why, how?"

"When I walked over to the house last night, he was still there. He had a flight out this morning to London to visit Gemma. He promised he wouldn't stay long. I gave him a lot to think about. Just like I hope I'm giving you a lot to think about. Boo, you two seem to be thinking of these babies in terms of who they belong to. They aren't items that can be passed back and forth or given to each other to make one another happy. Yes, they were conceived in rather unusual circumstances, but they are going to be here, two babies, and they are a part of each of you. They belong to both of you. I firmly believe that things happen for a reason. I know you love Harry, Boo. You can't hide the way you look at him our the tone of your voice when you talk about him. It's the same with him. He loves you the same as he did almost six years ago."

Louis starts to shake his head.

"I know you can't just pick up where you left off. There is too much history. Too much pain. But you can talk like grown men. Like I told him last night, even if things don't work out between the two of you, shared parenting is something that people do every day and do successfully. Look at your mum and Mark? Des and I. I happen to believe that you and Harry turned out just fine." Louis just sat there thinking for a minute. "Now are you going to eat that food instead of pushing it around to try to fool me or am I going to have to follow through with feeding you myself?"

"Anne, you don't know how I struggle with this."

"No I don't. It's something I've never been through. But I'm here to help. And these babies need food. Baby steps, yeah? Just a little?"

"Yeah. Baby steps," he agreed.

Louis was just finishing up. He had managed to eat about three fourths of his meal, when the door burst open. There stood Emily with two suitcases. Her eyes grew large as they darted back and forth between Anne and Louis.

"What are you doing here?" She nodded towards Louis. "I thought you had dropped off the face of the earth. And good riddance. What brought your sorry ass back and why are you here in my guest house?"

Anne walked purposefully to the door. "Excuse me, Emily, but may I ask what are you doing here? Harry told me that he put in no uncertain terms that you were to be no where on this property."

"Well I am still married to him, see this ring? And my new house has a water leak that's going to take a couple days to fix. Since this is technically still my home, I'm staying."

"Like hell you are. I believe Harry wanted all of your keys returned. And as you can see, this house is already occupied."

"Well, as you can see, I still have the keys to this house and it won't be occupied by anyone but me, so I suggest you and that little piece of trash get out."

As Anne stormed towards her, Louis stammered, "it's ok, Anne, I'll go. I shouldn't have been here in the first place."

"Damn right. Now will you please be a good mother and notify your son of the change?"

"Louis, hold it right there. Do not move," Anne stated as she grabbed the house phone and hit the button for security. “Paul, I need you here right now. I have an intruder."

"What, you wouldn't dare!"

"I just did. Now I suggest you turn around, grab your bags, hand me that key and any others you may have, then get out of here and not show your face again."

"You are really choosing that little fag over the wife of your son? The mother of his children?"

A small gasp escaped Louis lips as he turned and stumbled out of the room. 

"That's it, run little faggy boy."

It all happened within a matter of seconds. Anne's palm slammed across Emily's cheek at the same time a thud and a scream were heard from the hall.

Anne turned and sprinted out of the room, "Louis, Boo, are you alright?" The sight that greeted her brought her to tears. Louis was lying in the floor, cured in the fetal position, holding his stomach, gasping for breath. She dropped to her knees beside him. "Boo, what's wrong? Where does it hurt?"

"Can't...breathe.." he gasped.

Just then Paul came through the door. "Get her out of here and get her keys. I don't want to see her on this property again. Then wait by the gate. I'm calling an ambulance. Bring it straight here. Louis. I'm calling them right now. Just please try to calm down and breath, Love."

"She was right, that's all I am. All I ever will be. I just need to go,” he gasped out between painful breaths. He was turning a little blue from lack of oxygen.

"The only place you are going is to the hospital, you hear me? Louis William Tomlinson, I don't despise people very often and what that woman said was despicable. Now just be quiet and concentrate on breathing. Can you do that for me?"

He nodded as the paramedics arrived and Anne and Paul explained the situation to them. He was nearly 12 weeks pregnant, had just suffered a fall and was most likely experiencing an anxiety attack.

It was quickly decided for Paul to ride in the ambulance with Louis while Anne drove separately and tried to reach Harry. 

 

“So… Hey, Bud. I'd say it's good to finally see your face again, which it is. Just not like this,” said Paul while patting Louis’ shoulder after they got them settled into the ambulance after they stabilized his breathing and had an oxygen mask on him. Louis nodded and gave Paul a weak smile. The rest of the ride was in silence.

After several attempts that went straight to voicemail, Anne called Gemma. 

"Mum, what's up? Missing me already?"

"Of course I miss you darling, and that little grandbaby too. Send him lots of Nana kisses. But right now, I'm trying to reach Harry. What time does his flight land?"

"Of course I don't get any kisses, I see how it is! And it already landed. He should be here any minute now. I'm at the gate, just waiting for him to grab his bags. Landed a few minutes ago. Why? Everything alright?"

"No, Gemma, and I'm not sure how to go about talking to your brother about this. He's going to flip. I know I did."

"Why Mum? What happened? You never lose your temper!"

"Oh Gems, it was just awful. Emily walked into the guest house not knowing Louis and I were there. Something about needing a place to stay for a few days. She had kept a key without Harry knowing. Anyway I told her she had to go and she was saying all kinds of hateful, hurtful things to Louis, calling him such awful names. He took off out of the room and he either fell or simply collapsed, but he was having an anxiety attack, crying, not breathing right, holding his stomach, it was simply awful. I smacked Emily across the face and that was before Louis even fell. Paul escorted her out while I called the ambulance. Paul is in the ambulance with Louis now, probably almost to the hospital. I'm driving myself because I wanted to reach Harry. Gemma, he needs to get back here. Louis needs him and the babies might... Well I just don't know what's happening until I get to the hospital."

"Mum, he's here now. I'll put him on the next flight home. I'll make sure he leaves his WiFi on, message him through our family chat. Keep us both updated. Every little detail, yeah? And, Mum, do you need me to come over there? I can you know? Would it help?"

"Just let me get into the hospital to see how he is. Make sure Harry gets the next possible flight. I'll message you both. I love you both. And thanks, Gems."

"Love you too, Mum."

She hit disconnect as Harry was glaring at her with his hand extended to her, apparently waiting to speak with their mother. "No time, little bro. We need to get you on the next plane home."

"What? But Gemma, I just..."

"What part of no time did you not comprehend? Come on," she called over her shoulder as she practically dragged him to the airline ticketing agent. As they were waiting on his ticket to be processed, Gemma explained the best she could the call between herself and their mum.

"That bitch! I swear, I'll do more than slap her face if there is anything seriously wrong with either Louis or our twins." He was crying now.

Gemma couldn't help but smirk at him. "I know, I know, no time for humor. But weren't you coming over here to tell me how those babies were Louis' and not yours together like Mum keeps telling you? Sounds to me like you just went all protective daddy over them and protective husband over Louis. Which is exactly what you should be, should have been years ago. And it's time you make it right, knucklehead."

"But what if it's too late?

"You two both need to stop the what ifs and if onlys, it sounds like. Just be. It's time, little brother. Go get your man!"

"Gems, it's not as simple as that and you know it."

"Ok, so maybe you have to work for it a little bit. He's scared, Love. He's been through a lot. You went through a lot but you had us to help you. He felt abandoned when Jo died. He held it in. He forced himself to deal with things the best way he could. And now he needs you. He needs you. Go."

"Ok,Ok. But the plane doesn't board for another hour. Feed me? I'm starved."

"Come on, heathen. I knew you'd get something out of me! There's a cafe around the corner here, right by your gate."

"I got a lot more than dinner. Thanks, Gems."

"Love you too."

******

As Anne hurried into Louis' hospital room, Paul was sitting by the bed. Louis was asleep. "They sedated him. They have the fetal monitor on him and everything sounds fine, both heartbeats are strong. They are waiting on Dr. Jerome to come in to do an ultrasound. He was still pretty shook up. Kept mumbling in between trying to breathe, so they gave him a mild sedative to calm the anxiety through his IV. He was dehydrated again"

"I just can't get him to eat like he's supposed to. And he only drinks tea and some water. Oh what am I going to do, Paul?"

"I'm sure he'll be alright. Did you reach Harry?"

"Gemma texted that he's flying back, should be boarding soon. Did you get rid of her?"

"Oh yeah, my pleasure. She won't be coming back. Let's just say that she wasn't aware that I knew of a few little indiscretions of hers. The entire staff has a lot of dirt on her, I never said anything to Harry because I knew she was on her way out one way or another and I didn't want to hurt him. But getting rid of her won't be a problem. Wee are all prepared with evidence and to come forward. She's well aware of that now."

"Oh thank you Paul! What would we ever do without you!"

"Ya don't have to find out. The family loves our home next door. We love California. We love Harry. We love Louis. Looks like you're stuck with us," he smiled. "Now we just need to get Louis taken care of and knock some sense into both of them." 

"I couldn't agree more!"

Dr. Jerome appeared. "You must be Harry's mother? We haven't officially met. I'm Dr. Jerome."

"Yes, call me Anne please. I'm not sure exactly what happened. He had a horrible experience with Harry's wife, I'm sure you know the story," he nodded and she continued. "Anyway, he left the room and I heard him hit the floor and cry out. I don't know if he fell and got hurt or if he was just so upset that he deliberately dropped down crying. When I got there, he was holding his stomach, crying and having a panic attack."

"Ok, we will check him out. The chart says the fetal heartbeats are both strong. I think he will sleep for awhile, most likely through the exam, but Harry can come in if he would like. I'll be doing an ultrasound."

"Unfortunately Harry is out of the country. His flight should land early in the morning. Should I stay in case he wakes up or are you sure he will sleep through it?"

"Since he hasn't signed a consent for you, I won't be able to let you stay. But I still come get you as soon as I'm finished."

"Please just be gentle if he wakes up. He's had quite the shock."

"I understand. Harry notified me of the change in contract. That is a very rare situation and is usually preceded by a court battle. So, I must admit that I'm a little confused. But I need to examine him right now. I'll come get you in just a few minutes."

As promised, he returned about half an hour later. "I know I shouldn't be discussing this with you, but Harry did bring you to an appointment, so I'm going to trust you. Then the message can be passed on tip Harry. Everything looks good. He hasn't dilated any, the ultrasound looks great. 12 weeks, right on schedule. Measuring a little small, but according to what you've told me, I understand that. We need to keep him as stress free as possible, get him eating properly. Keep him hydrated. I do want to keep him for a few days, see what he has to say when he wakes up, where his pain is. For now you can go back in. Please have them page me when he wakes up."

"Thank you doctor."

"Thank you for getting him here so quickly. And for looking out for him. I really hope that Harry and he can get this worked out."

"Me too, Dr. Jerome, me too."

******

Anne texted both Harry and Gemma what the doctor had said. She was still sitting with Louis around five in the morning when Paul left to pick Harry up at the airport. "Make sure you tell him not to come in here makin this boy upset, understand? No more. I want that son of mine to start thinking before he speaks and acts. Tell him he will have to deal with me if he doesn't listen."

"You got it. Anything else?"

"Just tell him I'm glad he's back and I love him."

"Will do." He kissed her cheek and headed out.

As the door clicked, Louis startled awake. "What... Anne?"

"Oh Boo. How are you feeling? You gave is all such a fright."

"I..um..I think I'm ok. Am I at the hospital again?"

"Yes, Baby. You were laying in the hall having a panic attack and I couldn't get you to tell me if you were in pain and what was happening."

"Oh God, Emily."

"No, don't you be worrying about her. She's been taken care of. And don't you believe one thing she said. She's an angry, vindictive, spiteful, person and she won't be bothering any of us again. We have her keys and let's just say Harry won't be having any trouble getting his divorce."

"But it's true. The things she said."

"Nonsense, Louis William Tomlinson. Get that out of your head right now. Now, Dr. Jerome already examined you. They had you sedated some, but you were clearly exhausted because that wore off hours ago. He said everything looked good. But he does want to speak to you. Are you in pain? Louis, are you ok? I'm going to have them page him. Can I have them get you anything to eat?" She rattled off all get questions at once.

As he started to shake his head, Anne added, "please Boo."

"Maybe some soup?"

"Of course. Paul did go to pick Harry up at the airport. He rushed right home when he heard. Would you like them to pick you up something on the way?"

"You know he didn't have to do that."

"Of course he did. You are important to him. And I know hospital food isn't the best. Please get something to eat, Boo."

He sighed and thought for a minute. "Maybe a tea from Starbucks and I've really been craving fajitas, steak with extra guacamole."

Anne laughed. "Coming right up." She pulled her phone out as she went looking for a nurse.

******

"Paul, is he ok? I need to see him. Just get me there as soon as possible."

Paul chuckled. "That's my instructions. We just need to make a couple quick stops."

"Fuck that, please take me straight there."

"Your mum's orders. Actually, Louis' request. He wants a Starbucks tea and fajitas from somewhere. Any ideas where to get some at 6:30 am?"

Harry sighed and laughed. "Well, at least he's going to eat something. Nothing's open this early for that this early that I know of though. I think have an idea."

An hour later, after stopping at a 24 hour market and the studio for Harry to make the fajitas himself just the way he knew Louis liked them, they pulled into the hospital car park.

Anne met them in the hall outside Louis' room. She eyed the foil covered plates in Harry's hands suspiciously.

"We didn't know where to get fajitas at 6:30 in the morning so we stopped at the studio and Harry made them in the kitchen," supplied Paul.

"Yeah, and I already know how he likes them, so it was just easier that way. You know the studio is only a few blocks over.  
Oh, and here's his tea. Can I go in now? He's ok, yeah?"

"That was sweet of you, Baby. I'm sure he will appreciate it. And yes, he was awake a few moments ago. And the doctor said he's fine, though he is going to keep him a few days again to be on the safe side. He said he's not in any pain, it was just a panic attack and exhaustion. I do believe you have some explaining to do to Dr. Jerome though. He's thoroughly confused at your actions."

Harry hung his head. "One thing at a time, Mum. Let's get Louis his food before it gets cold."

He opened the door slowly and Louis' head snapped up, their eyes meeting in an intense stare. "Hi Lou. I brought your food. I hope you don't mind, but I made the fajitas myself because we didn't know where to get them this early. If you don't want them I can have Paul go get you some in a couple of hours.”

"No, No. That's fine. I actually really love yours. I think that's what I was craving. You did remember..."

"The extra guacamole, yeah," Harry laughed. Mum told me. So..um...how are you? How do you feel? I'm really really sorry about Emily. That should never have happened."

"It's ok Harry, nothing I haven't heard before. But, yeah, I guess I'm feeling alright. The doctor said everything is ok. And thank you for everything. For coming back, you didn't need to do that. And for the food."

"Yes I did need to, I never should have left. And we will talk. Just not until you are feeling better and ready to. Just whenever you're ready to talk Lou, just know I'm here, yeah? And I'll cook for you anytime. You should know that too."

They just looked at each other for a minute. Then Louis nodded toward the food in Harry's hands, "you mind?" 

"Oh God, no. I'm such an idiot. Here. I hope you didn't mind if I join you. I'm starving. But if you want me to, I can eat out in the hallway."

"Course not. Have a seat," he nodded towards the chair beside his bed that Anne had been using.

"Hmmm... These are delicious. I didn't realize how hungry I was. Thank you. They are just like I remembered."

"I'm glad you like them. It's good to see you smile. I'm glad you're enjoying them. Is there anything else I can get you?"

"Harry you aren't a waiter and we aren't strangers. Can we maybe just have normal conversation?"

"Sure Lou. I'd like that. Tell me what it's like teaching music. What years do you teach?"

"I have high schoolers. It's pretty sick. We usually do musicals at the end of the year. Not sure what we'll do if they cut back on the program. It's kind of sad really. The kids look forward to it."

"That's too bad. What kind of musicals have you done?"

"I got to do Grease. That was my favorite you know," he said with a grin.

"I'm sure it was. I bet it was great. Wish I could have seen some of them. I'm sure you do a wonderful job with them."

"I have them all recorded. Maybe you can watch them sometime, yeah?"

"I'd like that. Maybe we could watch them together if you'd like."

"Maybe. So, what was it like getting to work with Christopher Nolan? I mean, I read your interviews. I saw the movie too, by the way. It was really good. Kind of chill that you were kind of an arse," he smirked.

"Chris was great. Pretty pissed at me right now though. But he'll get over it. I liked getting into character. It was a great movie to get into. The history was cool, a lot more than they taught us in school."

"Oh so now you're knocking teachers, huh?" He joked.

"Naw. It was just more detailed."

"So why's he mad at you?"

"Eh, just someone I sent him for an audition that I shouldn't have. Wasn't right. But I was kind of desperate."

"Emily, huh?"

"We don't have to talk about her."

"I know we don't, but I'm asking. It's ok if you don't want to tell me though."

"No, no. I'll tell you anything, Lou. I just don't want to upset you. I'm enjoying our time together here."

"Yeah, me too. But it's ok. I really don't mind listening. What's the deal there?"

"She only wanted me for my name and the contacts and benefits I could give her. She never wanted me for me. She kept putting off having a family and at first it was ok because I was still touring and working on the second film. Of course she was never interested in any of that. Not my music or interests. Just the Hollywood parties and who were there. But then I put everything on hold to start a family and she absolutely refused to budge. Said she would never have a child. I agreed that if she consented that we used a surrogate and had a child, then I would help to get her started in the industry. That's how we ended up with Dr. Jerome."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Course. Anything, Lou."

"Why did you marry her, Haz?"

"I'm not really sure anymore. If anyone asked me at the time, I'd have sworn I loved her. Maybe I did. Maybe I just loved the idea of her. I don't know."

"Did you two date long? It just seemed to pop up out of nowhere that you were getting married. I didn't know anyone who knew you were even dating."

"I never did date much. And when I did, I kept it very private. But no, we weren't together long. Mum and Gemma never liked her. They tried to talk me out of it. Jeff tried to get me to have her sign a prenup, but I wouldn't. I guess that naive boy still thought someone could love him forever. I wanted it to be true," Harry sighed and frowned. "But hey, we were having a good time, let's not let my bad taste in women put a damper on things." He smiled up at Louis.

"I guess I don't understand why you never tried to come out and have a relationship with a man like you deserved to have, one more true to yourself," Louis whispers.

"Because there is only one you and I didn't have you any more. I didn't want to come out without you. I was being true to myself. That part of myself always did and always will belong to you. I guess I was just trying to find a new normal for me. I kind of went out with a few guys. None of them were you. So I stuck with the women. It was easier that way. Wasn't that disappointment at the end of a drunken night when I realized the guy I was with wasn't you and was pissed when I called him your name." Harry hung his head. “And when the paps saw me with the men at dinner, the media ran with it, so I was sort of outed anyway. Harry Styles is bisexual. So it didn't matter what I said.”

Louis didn't know what to say. He had also had those types of encounters, leaving a club with someone, only to realize it wouldn't be what it who he really wanted. So he settled. "yeah, I know exactly what you mean."

"Really?"

"Really."

They just looked at each other for a few moments. Gazes intently locked. Then Louis yawned.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't even realize how long we've been sitting here. I'm sure you need your rest."

"Harry, relax. I slept for ages. You're the one who just spent literally nearly an entire day on an airplane. You probably need rest more than me. And you probably need a shower too," he grinned.

"Heyyy. Be nice. I made you fajitas."

"Yes, and they were delicious. Thank you. Now, will you please shower and rest?"

"Only if you'll take a nap too. Deal?"

"It's only a deal if you bring me more fajitas when you wake up," Louis giggled.

"Ok, it's a deal then. Same as these or do you want chicken or something else?"

"Hmm... Maybe both? And we could share, and maybe watch a movie?"

"I'd like that. See you for dinner, Lou. I enjoyed this morning. Thank you."

"Thank you, Harry. See you tonight. Oh and.."

"I know, Lou, I won't forget the extra guacamole!" He laughed as he went out the door. 

Anne was just coming down the hall, freshly showered and changed as Harry walked out of Louis' room. "What are you still doing here, Love?"

"I ate with Lou and we've been talking. It's been nice."

She looked at her watch. "All this time?"

"Mmhm." He nodded. "But he's tired now and actually so am I, so I'm going to go shower and nap then make dinner for us for tonight to bring back. Would you like some?"

"So you two are getting along?"

He nodded. "It was nice, Mum. We ate together and just talked. It was kind of like we were friends. I've missed that. So I'm coming back tonight with more fajitas and a movie. And if it means he will eat, I will make him fajitas every day for the rest of my life."

Anne smiled. "Then I guess you should make enough for three! Now scoot. Go rest and I'll stay with him. I've already been to the house and I've already talked to your sister. She wants you to call her tomorrow. I told Paul to go on home when I got back. He's been up all night as well. I'm going to go crash in Louis' room. When he sleeps, I'll sleep."

"Mum, you know that's hard on you. When I get back tonight, we can all eat together, then you go home to get a good night's sleep and I'll stay here with Lou. Plus it will give the two of us more time to test the waters and see how well we are getting along while he is still here before we have to figure it out all over again when he is released."

"I'm proud of you, Baby. I know this is hard. It has to be hard for both of you. But you are doing marvelous, Love. Now go rest. Here are the keys to your car. It's on the bottom level. I'll just drive it back home tonight."

"Thanks Mum. I love you too." He kissed her forehead and headed towards the elevators.

 

******

For the first time in weeks, Harry slept soundly. As he showered, he replayed the conversation he and Louis had in the hospital room. He was glad they were making progress. Granted, they hadn't talked about the babies, but he was sure that would happen soon. It was still a big question mark in Harry's mind, but he kept thinking of his mum's words. Even if he and Louis remained friends, maybe parenting together wouldn't be so bad.

He was feeling content, relieved, and a little hopeful as he closed his curtains to the late morning sun and crawled into bed.

******

Anne walked into the hospital room to find an empty bed. "Boo?" Nothing. Then she heard it. A retching noise from the bathroom. She quickly went to the door and tapped.

"Um..I'm ok, Anne. Just give me a minute. The fajitas must not be sitting right on my stomach. Just feeling a little ill."

"I'll just go fetch a nurse then," she answered with a frown.

"No, it's ok. I think I got it all out. I should feel better here in a moment. Just let me wash up."

"I'll just ring one to be safe," she muttered, then sat in the chair beside his bed.

Just as Louis came out of the bathroom with a fresh gown on, toothbrush in hand and pulling his IV pole, a nurse walked into the room. "What's going on Mr. Tomlinson? How do you feel?"

"It's nothing. Just a bit nauseous."

Anne hummed from the chair. "I think you should probably run some tests. He ate the food quite some time ago, seemed to have a really good few hours, then it just seemed to hit him as soon as my son left. I think maybe he was holding in his discomfort for a while to not draw attention to it, but it's really getting quite common after he eats anything."

"Interesting, I'll go page the doctor and see what he recommends."

"You do that dear. I'll just sit here with Louis until then," Anne looked at him with a frown.

"While I'm here, I may as well go ahead and got your vitals. It's almost time anyway."

As she worked, Louis sat in the bed with his head bowed. He knew what was coming and he wasn't at all prepared for it.

As soon as she left, Anne looked over at him and asked, "Why, Boo? I thought you two had such a good time, yeah? If you weren't comfortable with him being here, I'm sure he would have left. You didn't have to resort to this. Are we really going backwards instead of forwards? You can't keep doing this to your body, Louis. You cannot keep doing this to those babies."

"I know," he said with tears sliding down his cheeks. "I just don't know how to stop. It's the only control I have right now. I had no control when Harry was here. My heart reacted to him just like it always has. I just love him so much. It still hurts to even think of what I threw away. But I have control over what's in my stomach."

As he finished that sentence, Dr. Jerome walked in. "After hearing that, sounds like I don't need to ask why I'm here." He nodded towards Anne, "Do I have permission to discuss this with Anne in the room?"

Louis nodded. "Louis, do I need to keep you here under surveillance? There are laws Louis regarding pregnancy. You are 12 weeks now which is starting to put you into your second trimester. Harry may have signed custody to you but he still has rights when it comes to the well-being of these babies. He's the biological father. He won't let you starve them. He can go to court to have you admitted for psychological treatment. Let's not let it get that far."

Anne and Louis were both crying by then. "Oh, Boo, I know this is hard. Harry would never force you into court. But we do want the best for you and the babies. Would it help you to go back home to Doncaster? To your family?"

"No, Anne. That would be just as hard, if not worse. Doctor, what do you suggest? How can I do this? I don't want to hurt the babies. I just feel so out of control. Before, the psychologist called it a form of emotional anorexia. It manifested itself physically also. I wasn't as bad as some of the people in the group, and most were women. But none were pregnant. I can't go to a group where people think I'm hurting my babies on purpose. I did always diet and drink because I always had a little pouchy stomach and some fans made fun of it, and the not eating gave me control over that. Then even when I lost my fat, I still did it because it made me feel good to have the control. It's the only thing I can control right now, or ever it seems. I hate feeling out of control. This really makes me feel better."

"There are coping mechanisms, Louis. We just need to teach you and help you to use them. But you need to be willing to accept the help and to follow through. And it takes a team. Are you willing to let Anne and Harry in? Can they be a part of that team?"

He looked at Anne. "Boo, please?" She got up and went and sat in the bed with him. She held his hand and kissed his hair. You know we would do anything for you. Your mum would want us to be here for you when she can't be. Please?"

"Ok. But you need to be patient. Especially Harry. My feelings for him trigger me a lot. I am so afraid of being around him, but even more afraid of losing him again."

"Of course. Whatever you need. He's coming back tonight with dinner and a movie And was planning on staying. Do you want me to tell him not to? I can stay."

"No, I may as well get used to it. But can we work on some of those techniques before he gets here, Dr. Jerome?"

"Of course. I'll send up a specialist right away. We have a great team right here in the hospital."

When he left, Louis liked at Anne. "I'm so sorry. It seems like that's all I get done saying to you. But I will try."

 

"That's all we can ask. We will do it any way you want and need, yeah? Can I talk to Harry before he gets here tonight? Are you sure you still want him to come? Do you still want him to bring dinner?"

"Of course. To all of it. But I would like to rest until the specialist gets here."

"That's a good idea. I'll just go get some tea. You get some rest. Are you going to be ok?"

"Yes, I promise. No more throwing up."

"Good boy. I love you, Boo."

"Love you too."

******

Harry woke up to his alarm feeling rested and looking forward to the evening. He decided to fix most of the dinner before he showered and got ready for the night. As the meats were cooking, he picked a few dvds and packed up his laptop and cord with them in his bag along with a few essentials for the night. 

When everything was ready to put the fajitas together, he put the burners on low and took a long hot shower. As the hot water hit his skin, he thought of the night ahead of him. He couldn't help but remember the good morning that he and Louis had shared. It brought him hope for the future. He was also flooded with memories of the past. As he was thinking of them, his hand traveled his torso, stopping to pinch his nipples just like Louis used to. He knew how sensitive Harry's nipples were and always paid them a lot of attention, always scraping them just right with his teeth. Harry hissed at the thought as his other hand gripped his hardening cock.

Harry closed his eyes and saw Louis as they used to be, tangled together, Harry pushing into him, feeling him tight around him, eyes boring into each other as they moved as one body. They used to be able to read each other so well. Play each other's bodies like finely tuned instruments. He was almost embarrassed when he was shooting into his fist in mere minutes. He hadn't allowed himself these thoughts about Louis in a long time. The last time he had come so hard, was during a dream of him and Louis while he was on his honeymoon with Emily. He had called out his name and it had been loud enough to wake both of them up. Luckily Emily hadn't heard the name he called and believed it was hers and they had joked about it. Harry had carefully tried to keep all memories of his and Louis' life together locked away ever since. They were flooding back now. 

He quickly washed and dressed so that he could finish their dinner. When he got back to the kitchen he noticed a missed call from his mum. Then a text asking him to call her before he returned to the hospital. 

With a feeling of dread, he hit the call button.

"Mum? What's going on?"

"Hi, Baby. Do you know when you will be coming back to the hospital?"

"I was just about to put the finishing touches on dinner then head over. Why? Is everything ok? How's Louis?"

"Everything is alright, Love. I'd just like you to stop and chat with me for a bit in the cafe before you head to Louis' room, if that's alright."

"Mum, what's wrong? I'm almost done now, so it won't be long. I don't want too keep his food too long. I don't want it to get cold."

"Baby, the food can be warmed if needed. But we really need to talk."

"Ok, give me 30 minutes. I'll call you when I'm parking. Love you." With that he disconnected. He grabbed the ingredients for the fajitas and put them each in disposable bowls so that what needed warmed could be without messing up the rest. The cold ingredients went into a little cooler. He added plates, utensils and napkins and put everything in a big cloth grocery bag. It nearly overflowed since he had gone overboard with the chicken, steak and veggies, plus had containers of the other condiments and cheeses, but he wanted it perfect for Louis. He hurried to make sure the stove was off then packed everything into his Range Rover and headed towards the hospital, biting his bottom lip with worry the entire drive.

******

"Mum, what is it? What's happened? And don't say nothing. I could hear it in your voice. You've got me worried, Mum." Those were the first words out of Harry's mouth when he saw Anne standing in front of the cafe.

"Let's sit down first, Love. Did you sleep well"

"Yeah, Mum, I'm fine. Was doing great til you called. But talk."

She sighed. "Ok. After you left this morning, I went back into Louis' room and he was in the loo getting sick,"

"Oh no, were the fajitas bad?"

"Harry, you aren't hearing me. I walked in on him making himself throw up."

"But Mum, that doesn't make any sense," he said in disbelief. "We had such a good morning."

"I know, doll, I was surprised too, but we had a nice talk with Dr. Jerome and a lot of it made sense." She quickly filled Harry in on the content of the conversation and the fact that he would be an integral part of Louis' recovery team.

"Of course I will."

"And Harry, we need to allow Louis to lead the way on this. No pushing. We need to be there for him and make sure he has the support he needs to get through it, but he makes the decisions, not you. Understood?"

"Yes, Mum."

"Ok, now let's go feed your boy."

"I like the sound of that, Mum. You think it will ever be true again? I want him to be mine so bad."

I know you do, Hunny. And I'm sure he wants that too. But it needs to be on his terms. Don't screw this up."

"I'll do my best."

When they walked into Louis' room, he was still sleeping. Harry just stared at him. He wanted to kiss him so badly. Instead, he gently touched his cheek. "Lou? We're back."

"Hmm? Oh, hi." He automatically reached out to hold Harry's hand before thinking, quickly dropping it. 

"I can go if you want. I can leave the food here for you and Mum for later. You can get some more sleep."

"No, no. Stay. Please. I'd like you too. Did you bring me some food, did you say?"

"You know it," Harry laughed. I'll just have the staff warm up the meat and tortillas. I brought the rest in a little cooler bag here in the grocery bag. Extra guacamole," he smiled.

While the nurse heated the food, Harry sat up a little dining area with Louis' bed tray and the bedside table. Harry was sat in the chair beside the bed and Anne sat on the bed with Louis. They spread out the food and dug in. "God, Harry. I've missed these so much. I think I could eat them every day!"

"That can be arranged. Any thing for you, Lou. I mean that."

"Thank you, Harry. For everything. Um.. Did Anne fill you in on..um.. Everything?"

"Yeah. It's alright, Lou. I'm here in whatever capacity you need me to be."

"Well, um. The specialist was here and she gave me some really good ideas. Tools that I can use or at least try. Hence, this colorful rubberband on my wrist. Flicking a little pain, control mechanism instead of running to the bathroom. Also, if you see me doing it, it may give you an idea that I may need help but I'm afraid to ask for it. If that makes any sense?"

"I think it's a great idea, Boo. I think I've read about it being used in other areas. Gemma talked something about it once."

"Yeah. And they suggested that I continue to stay with you maybe? If that's still an option?"

"Of course it is? Why wouldn't it be? I was the one who was a right arse. You did nothing wrong. Of course you're coming home," Harry said before Anne could even open her mouth.

"Also, they suggested that we schedule meals, eat them together and plan something after so that I'm accountable for my actions. Eating enough food, healthy food, and not running off to make meself sick."

"Not a problem. I can make the fajitas every day, vegetables one day, fruit ones for dessert the next, hummus fajitas, tofu, bean sprout," Harry laughed at the face Louis was making. Then Anne burst into loud giggles.

"Um, no that's ok. I think we can come up with other nutritious meals. But thanks," he said with a smile.

After they finished eating Harry looked nervously at Louis. "Lou, did you want to still watch a movie and have me stay while mum goes home to get some sleep? If you aren't ok with it, I'll leave."

"No. Stay. I'd like that. I mean, if you want to," said shyly.

"Of course I want to."

Anne cleared her throat, "well then boys, I'm going to get going then. Louis, if you need anything please don't hesitate to call me." She kissed the top of his head. She kissed Harry's cheek, whispered, "be gentle with him," blew them both kisses and left the room.

******

"So, um.. what movie did you bring us to watch?"

"Well I wasn't sure what you would be in the mood for, so I brought the original Grease, Finding Nemo and Finding Dory, and the complete boxed set of Friends."

"Not the Notebook or Titanic?" Louis grinned.

"Naw, not tonight. Maybe tomorrow," Harry smirked. "And you may not admit it, but you love those movies. Always snuggled up and cried when you thought I couldn't see you."

"Ugh. We just always watched during allergy season."

"You keep telling yourself that. You don't even have allergies."

"Just put something in Styles and let's get on with it," Louis laughed.

Harry grabbed the Grease DVD and his laptop, setting it on Louis' table just as Louis scooted over in the bed to make room for him. Harry looked at him questioningly.

"Come on. I'd like to think we're friends and can share the same area to watch a movie for Christ's sake."

"You're right. I just don't want to strain things. We're doing so good. Ya know?"

"Yeah, Curly, I know. But it's good, yeah?"

"Yeah, Lou. Now make room for my legs!"

"Not my fault you're a giraffe!"

"Heyyy!"

"Just hit play!"

Thirty minutes later Louis was sleeping, curled into Harry's side with Harry's arm around him. Harry was staring at Louis more than watching the movie they've watched together at least a dozen times. Louis scrunched up his nose and made some cute sniffling noise and Harry couldn't help but to pull out his phone and snap a quick photo. "Taking pictures of sleeping men now, Harold? You've resorted to new lows."

"Um..I'm sorry. I'll delete it if you want me to. You were just so cute. Couldn't help myself. And well, I just wanted a picture of you," Harry murmured quietly, suddenly realizing how close they were.

"Harry, It's ok. I was joking. I don't mind. And I'm sorry I fell asleep on ya. Guess I was more tired than I thought."

"It's ok. Want me to move over to the chair so you can get comfortable?"

"I'm pretty comfortable right here."

"Ok. If you're sure."

"I'm sure." Louis smiled and snuggled back into Harry's side with his hand on Harry's chest. "Hey Harry? Can I ask you something?"

"Course."

"What do you think we should do about all of this? I mean, how's it all going to work? I mean, I have these two little babies growing inside me, almost a third of the way done now, and so much as happened in this past month. I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to be thinking about them. I find myself talking to them when I'm alone, and I know it's wrong, they aren't rightfully mine. I know you negated the contract and gave me full custody. But Harry, these are your babies. I won't take them away from you."

"And I won't take them away from you. They are as much a part of you as they are me." Harry linked their fingers that were lying across his chest. "Lou, maybe Mum was right. Maybe we can do this together, yeah? I'm willing to try if you are."

"But what does doing it together even mean?"

"I'm not really sure, but we can kind of figure out our own kind of normal together?"

"I'd like that."

"Me too. Now get some rest, Lou," Harry whispered and kissed the top of his head. "We'll figure it out."

****** 

They stayed like that until the nurse came in and made Harry move so she could check Louis' vitals. That of course made him have to get up to wee. Harry got settled in the chair and told Louis to stretch out and rest. "I know you can't be comfortable in that chair and you actually helped me to sleep."

So with that argument, Harry crawled back into Louis' bed and they tangled themselves together like old times, both falling asleep rather quickly, but not before Harry barely heard Louis' quiet whisper. "I know you're asleep. I wouldn't be able to say it of you weren't. But I do still love you. Never stopped." Then he nuzzled into him and fell asleep himself. Harry smiled as he fell asleep.

******

When Dr. Jerome came in the next morning, Harry was back in his chair and Louis was eating a breakfast sandwich from the cafe downstairs with a tea. "So. I hear there's a plan in place for when you're released?"

"Yeah. I will be going back to Harry's. To the guest house."

"Yeah. About that," Harry spoke up. "Um. I was wondering if maybe you'd consider moving into the main house with me. Mum too of course. There's plenty of room. And it would be easier for the family meals and I was thinking about the whole keeping you busy after meals thing, and well, I do have a home studio. I thought maybe we could do some writing and recording?"

"Oh. Well..um... I'll need to think about it. But yeah, I don't see why not. I'll let you know."

Dr. Jerome continued, "ok, so we're getting a plan in place for support. I need to know the plan for these babies. Harry, I need to know who my patient is. I know Louis is my physical patient, but you were my ultimate patient because of the nature of the pregnancy, the in-vitro process. Your attorneys and I worked together to keep this all straightforward. It's become very muddled now. Louis has already been paid in full and all legal documents have been signed by you giving him custody, so technically, I can still discuss the health of the babies and Louis with you because you are the legal father and due to the nature of the pregnancy. You can make some decisions. But you also need to consider what is best for Louis."

"Wait. What? Maybe I didn't look at all the papers, but what? You paid me?"

"Well yeah. That's what you signed up for, Lou. I just didn't want to drag out it all out to just make you miserable the entire pregnancy only to give you custody at the end. So I just went ahead with everything now. I told you when I gave you the papers, but you probably didn't hear me. Everything has already been paid. The $100,000 fee, the $2500 monthly allowance, the $10,000 to cover what your insurance doesn't, the extra $5000 for it being twins, the $10,000 for the prior attempt, and the extra $50,000 I put in for you to relocate if you wanted to."

"So you have already deposited nearly $200,000 into my bank account? That wasn't what was agreed to, Harry."

"Hell, Louis, none of this is what we agreed to. You didn't know I was the father. I didn't know you were the surrogate. You were healthy and well adjusted, just trying to get yourself set up for the future. I messed that up. You all of a sudden felt out of control again, losing ground of your own health as well as the health of our children. It wasn't even a question of keeping the contract. It's all in your hands now. You are the patient. If you want me involved, you know I would love to be there. But it's got to be only what you are comfortable with. I want you healthy. I want our babies healthy. I want this in your hands. Just tell me what you want and we will do it however you want, Lou."

"Say it again," he whispered.

"I want you to decide," Harry repeated.

"Not that, of course I want you involved, Curly. But what did you call them? The babies?"

Harry's breath hitched. He didn't know if this was a good or a bad thing in Louis' eyes. "I called them our children, Lou. I said that because it's true. They're ours. A part of you and a part of me. Yeah, It's crazy how we got here, but there's no going back. We just have to figure it out. I'd like to figure it out with you." 

Harry held his hand out and Louis grasped it. "Ok. Dr. Jerome. I will be your patient. Harry is already listed as the twins' father and has every right that I do, access to all medical records and the right to made decisions equally, wholly in the case of emergency." He looked up at Harry who was staring at him in amazement.

"Ok then. Louis you seem to be doing fine. All of your vitals have been good. Harry? He's eaten and kept it down, right?"

Harry nodded. "Ok. Well. I'd like to get a good look at those two in there, check the placentas, your lining, the cords, get proper measurements. I'd say we do the ultrasound this afternoon, you stay tonight, then go home first thing in the morning? Sound alright?"

"Sounds great," Louis said with a smile.

******

Later that evening, after All the tests showed that everything was great with both babies, Harry was again stretched out in Louis' bed with him.

"So, I was thinking about what you said," Louis started. 

Harry's heart sputtered in his chest. There were so many things he's said recently, he didn't want to mess this up. So he settled for a simple, "Oh, is that so? And what were you thinking about it?"

"Well, first, that you have no idea what I'm talking about right now," he smirked. "And second, that I think I'd like to take you up on your offer to stay at the house with you and your mum if the offer still stands."

"You little shit! And of course it does. I'd love to have you close."

"I just like the idea of you cooking for me quite a lot," Louis laughed cheekily.  
Harry loved the sound of Louis' laughter. He hugged him close. "Then I shall cook for you as much as you wish."

Louis blushed. This was all starting to sound a bit domesticated. That always came naturally to them, even from the beginning. It would be a bit trickier navigating the water this time. Louis just had to keep reminding himself of that. Harry reached an arm up and pulled Louis' head down to guys chest. "Rest, Love. It's been a long day." 

Louis nodded as Harry's fingers kept carding through his hair. They both yawned at the same time, then giggled. Harry wrapped both arms around his boy, kissed the top of his head, and paused.

"What's wrong, Harry?"

"I've, well, I've never been able to, you know. I've never been able to touch your tummy, tell them I love them, nothing. You said you talk to them a lot. I do too, but only in my head. Do you think? I mean, would you mind if I.."

"Harry, here." Louis rolled over a little, took Harry's hand and placed it under his hospital gown.

Harry felt the warm skin of Louis' abdomen. It felt intimate and familiar, yet so foreign. He knew this was different, almost reverent. It wasn't just Louis that he was touching, but their children. Children that he and Louis had created together, no matter what the unusual circumstances. They were theirs together. He looked up and Louis was looking at him. Their eyes locked. Blue and green. Flames shot between them. Before he stopped himself to think, the words came out. "I really want to kiss you Lou."

Louis swallowed hard and nodded down at his stomach. " I..um..I've seen many dads kiss their babies through a pregnant stomach. It's ok," he stammered. 

Harry sighed. He knew that Louis knew what he had meant, but he wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to be close to his children. He gently lifted Louis gown and spread both his hands over his abdomen. It was starting to pop out just a little, not much and you couldn't tell if you weren't looking. As he massaged them gently over the skin, he bent down and whispered, "Hi there. I'm your other dad. I already love you so much and I can't wait to meet you and hold you. Your grandma Anne and I are gonna help your daddy take good care of you until you get here. He is doing a great job and I can tell he loves you so much too." Then he gently brushed his lips across the skin, noticing the immediate prickling on the surface as he did. 

Harry looked up and saw tears in Louis' eyes. He quickly moved up and gathered him in his arms. "What's wrong, Love? Did I do or say something wrong?"

"No Harry, you were perfect. You always are." And some more tears fell.

Harry brushed them away with his thumb, then lowered his head and gently brushed his lips to Louis' just once. "Lou, you need to rest. It's been a long day."

"Yeah, I think my hormones are a little out of whack. They told me expect this with my emotions. Up and down and all over the place. Maybe sleep is a good idea," he nodded. "Will you stay here with me? Just hold me?"

"Course, Lou. No place I'd rather be." Louis turned over and tugged Harry's arms around him, placing one hand over his stomach. Harry held him to his chest tightly. He bent his head down to share the pillow, gently kissing Louis' cheek and whispering "thank you," before they started to drift off.

The door to the room opened and a nurse came in. She opened her mouth as if to ask Harry to move. He glared at her, nodded towards a sleeping Louis and she quickly walked out.

******

The next morning, Louis stretched awake with Harry already awake and watching him, hand gently rubbing lazy circles around his belly, just like old times."How long have you been awake?"

"About an hour. Ever since my bladder told me I had to wee."

"Well why didn't you get up and go?"

"You were sleeping so peacefully and were so beautiful. I couldn't make myself wake you. You really are glowing now, Lou. Just a few meals and you're already getting healthy. Getting healthy is beautiful on you."

"Yeah, yeah, Curly. Being poetic is beautiful on you, but get out of my way. My bladder won't hold like yours apparently will."

Harry laughed and helped Louis out of bed then went you the visitor's restroom himself. When he got back to the room, one nurses was removing Louis' IV while another was taking his vitals. "A discharge nurse will be in shortly with your paperwork and instructions and then you will be free to go, Mr. Tomlinson."

"Thank you."

"I'm going to call Paul. And I'll have Mum set up a guest room for you. Her room is on the opposite side of the house from mine. Do you have a preference where yours is? Either side, somewhere in the middle? It's really kind of a big circle, a lofty, open floor plan, so you wouldn't be far either way."

"Geesh, Harold, how many are there to choose from? No, nevermind. Don't answer that. Um, it doesn't really matter."

"There's one a few doors down from mine, sort of in the middle, still on the same side as mine technically, with a nice balcony, looking out over the ocean. A smaller one on the other side of mine. That's where I was planning on setting up the nursery. The one beside Mum is attached to my home office and studio. So not that many Lou. Not unreasonable or over board."

"I wasn't insinuating anything, Harry. Just poking fun. The balcony sounds nice. Relaxing."

"Ok. I'll have her get it set up. Have someone bring your things over. Since you will be staying, do you need anything from your home in Nevada? Would you like someone to go get anything or do you want to go yourself. I'd go with you if you wanted. If it's not too forward to volunteer."

"There are a few things. Especially if we are going to be writing. Um, would you mind taking me? I could go by meself of you don't want to. I understand."

"I'd love to go Lou. Let's see what your instructions are and when we would be able to go, yeah?"

"Sounds like a plan," he grinned. He felt giddy again. He was trying to be cautious, guard his heart, but he knew he was falling hard for his boy again. He really never stopped.

****

When they arrived home, everything was already ready and Paul and Anne helped Harry get Louis settled in. He was more tired than he expected to be after doing so little, but Dr. Jerome had warned him that fatigue could possibly be a problem. Anne suggested that he take a quick nap and they would have lunch prepared while she and Harry caught up and called Gemma, which he had neglected to do when he arrived back in Los Angeles. He hadn’t requested anything special for lunch and as he was moving around the room, trying to get settled, Harry noticed him fidgeting with the rubber band on his wrist. 

“Lou, talk to me. What’s wrong? This is a signal, right? Something I’m supposed to watch out for? I’ve not been through this before, Baby, you’re going to have to talk to me. Help me to understand what’s going on in your head.”

Louis’ head snapped up and his eyes met Harry’s in a flash of what almost seemed like violence to Harry. “What is it? What did I do?” he whispered. That’s when he noticed three things almost simultaneously. First, was that there was a wedding photo of Emily and himself sitting on the dresser, their smiling faces gazing at each other, hands intertwined, sun shining on their faces making it seem almost ethereal. 

Second, was that on the nightstand by the bed was another framed photo, a selfie of the band taken in front of the statue of Christ the Redeemer in Rio, he and Louis holding hands. Nestled in a small clear box in front of the photo was the silver band that Louis had given Harry as a promise of a future together. It was never far from Harry. It was one of the only things he had left of his life with Louis and he had never been ready to part with it. It had driven Emily mad, but he would never give in. Louis had a similar one, but it was probably long gone by now.

Third, Harry realized his biggest mistake. Upon seeing Louis trying to reconcile these two ideas in his mind, already beginning to feel uncomfortable and out of control, Harry had messed up yet again and called him one of their pet names, a term of endearment that always made Louis melt for him, ‘Baby’.

“Louis…”

“It’s ok, Harry. I think I do need that nap, but maybe out on the balcony in a lounger that I spotted?”

“Yeah. Sure. Um.. here, let me get you a pillow and a light blanket. You go on out, yeah?” 

“That would be a good idea, I think.”

Harry got Louis settled on the lounger, his hand lingering a little longer than necessary on his arm, then he headed back into the room. He snatched both photos and the ring up, did a quick search to make sure there was nothing else to make him uncomfortable, then went to his own room. He sat on his bed, tossed the photo of him and Emily in the trash bin, and held the one of the band to his chest. After a few steadying breaths, he carefully slid the ring onto his finger. It felt so right. Everything about Louis felt so right. “What the fuck am I going to do?” he muttered. He slipped the ring back off, put it into the box and placed the photo and the ring on his own night stand. 

****

Anne was waiting on him downstairs. “I thought you got lost, Lovey. Are you alright?” she asked, noticing his paleness.

“Yeah, I’m ok, but maybe you should go check on Lou. He’s supposed to be napping on the balcony, but I’m worried about him. I messed up again, Mum.” He could feel the tears threaten to spill over.

“Oh Love, what’s wrong? What happened?”

Harry told her everything and Anne was actually more angry with herself for not noticing those things as she was getting the room ready for Louis to begin with. “If it’s anyone’s fault, Love, it’s mine. I will go check on him. Promise me you will stop being so hard on yourself, Go ahead and call Gems and I’ll make sure Louis is ok.”

****

It was quiet as she slipped into his room. The door was ajar and no one was in it, so she assumed he was still on the balcony. As she glanced through the door, her heart broke. Louis was sitting on the lounger, tears streaming down his face, twirling the rubber band around his wrist, snapping it every now and then, looking as if he would bolt into the room at any moment. She knocked so not to scare him, then slipped out the door.

“Oh, Boo, come ‘ere,” she opened her arms to him and sat down beside him as he leaned in to them and rested his head on her shoulder.

“How do I do this, Anne? I have so many feelings. My head is spinning. Why was that photo there? And the ring?”

“Oh love, for almost a year, until Emily moved out, Harry was using this as his room because she was in the master. Everything of his was still in the master and he only slept here because their schedules were so different, so the only thing he brought here with him was the picture of you guys and the ring. They are never far from him. Never have been.”

“But, what about her, I mean.. Um.. didn’t she..?” he wasn’t sure how to finish his question, but Anne knew what he was asking.

“Of course. It made her crazy knowing he still loved you, would never love her like he did you. That’s why she was so horrible to you. Harry was never very good at hiding his feelings. We all knew their marriage would never last, but Harry had to figure it out on his own. He wanted it to in his own way, wanted to belong somewhere, to someone. But he will never belong to anyone but you, Boo. You have always had his heart. From that first moment at the X-Factor until right this very second. He loves you so much. Is willing to do whatever it takes to make you comfortable. That’s why he had me come up here. He is terrified that he messed up again. I told him that it was me who should be to blame, I got the room ready for you, I should have been more careful.”

“Neither of you should have to be careful. This is his home. I’m a guest. Of course he would have his wedding photos here. I’m sure if I had looked, there would have been more downstairs. This is no one’s fault but my own for feeling like I have a right to be jealous after I threw away the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

“Louis William Tomlinson stop it right there. First of all, did you not hear a word I just said? Any of the times I have spoken to you? That boy loves you with everything he has in him. And you love him. You both need to get you heads out of your arses and talk to each other honestly about it. And, no, you would not have found another trace of that woman in this house that I can tell. As soon as Harry had her moved out, except for the few clothes that she couldn’t move until a couple weeks ago, he basically had her erased from this home. It’s as if she never lived here. He totally had the master and ensuite redecorated, repainted, and replaced all the furniture. And most of the house got a complete overhaul. Her things were in storage bins when she came to get them and she was none too pleased about that. But Harry needed her gone. Don’t you see, Louis? He needed her gone before he even saw you again. He was already in the guest room for a year, staying away from her as much as possible. Then when you came back into his life, he needed to get away from her even more. He moved her to a house that he's paying for just so he doesn't have to see her or hear her voice. And now he's terrified that he's going to do something to screw it up with you. Whatever happened all those years ago between you two, he doesn't want this time to end like that again. Talk to him,Love. Please.”

Anne kissed the side of Louis’ head, hugged him again, and told him to rest for a bit. “Lunch should be an hour or so. Get a little nap in, yeah?” He nodded.

“And Boo, are you going to be ok? I know you haven’t eaten much today, so that would make even harder on your body if you tried.”

“No. I’ll be fine. Thank you for talking to me. I think I was pretty close.”

“You can thank Harry. He knew you needed someone and he was afraid you wouldn’t let it be him.”

“He’s probably right. I was pretty spooked. But I know that the two of us do need to talk.”

 

“I’m glad you see that Boo. I’ll see you in a bit for lunch, yeah? Get some rest.”

****

“Harry for the last time, yes he is fine. He is napping. I believe him when he says he’s ok. He acknowledges the fact that you two need to talk, so I hope that you are prepared for some brutal honesty. You both need some. Now I believe lunch should be ready in a few minutes do you want me to go wake him up or would you like to?”

“I will, Mum. And thank you.”

As he walked into Louis’ room, he could see the curtains on the sliding doors billowing in the fresh breeze. Louis was curled up on the lounger with the blanket wrapped around him. He was beautiful. Harry’s heart ached to curl up with him and hold him forever. But there was a lot of talking to be done first. 

“Lou,” he gently brushed his thumb over Louis’ cheek until he stirred awake.

“Mhmm...Wha?”

“Lunchtime, sleeping beauty. I had the cook, make some black bean and cheese quesadillas with a salad. Then requested lasagna for dinner. Is that alright?”

“Sounds lovely. I’m famished! Just give me a minute to wee.”

“Ok. And if you want. I thought maybe you would want to bring a sweater down with you and we could take a walk on the beach after lunch. Just the two of us. The beach on the other side of the guest house has no public access and is all privately owned with the property. We wouldn’t have to worry about paps.”

“That sounds nice Though I don’t really have many clothes. I hadn’t planned on staying if you remember. I was surviving at the guest house wearing the same clothes over again with some clothes your mum dug out for me. One of the reasons, I need to go home to pack some stuff soon.”

“Well, how about I grab you a sweater of mine for now and during dinner we can make plans to go to Nevada?”

“Sounds good. Now out of my way, Curly.”

Harry laughed and headed downstairs to wait for Louis to join them at the table. 

By the time lunch was finished, they had all caught up on how Gemma was doing… great at being a mum. This didn’t surprise Louis since he always thought she was great at everything. That is what made him her favorite and she never neglected to remind Harry of that when the three of them were in the same room. Louis was looking forward to seeing her again and meeting her husband, Michal and their son, Andrew.

They were also stuffed full and had made final plans for an overnight road trip in Harry’s Range Rover. It’s an almost six hour drive between their homes, so will take one morning driving, the day packing and loading up the car, spend the night, then spend the next day driving back. Dr. Jerome had suggested waiting to leave the city until he saw Louis again for a quick check up and that follow up was scheduled two days away. Louis was anxious for his stuff so Harry told him if the doctor gave them the all clear, they would leave the morning following the appointment. 

After grabbing two of his Green Bay Packers hoodies off the hook by the back door, the two men strolled down the path towards the beach. "I never knew this was here," said Louis. "I mean, I heard the waves and I saw the ocean from some of the windows, but it never dawned on me that there was a beach here."

"Yeah, one of the perks of the property. I do have to keep an extra security fence to make sure no one can get in off the water, that's all I need is to walk out of the shower to a pap or another crazed fan who braved the water to get into the property and into the house. But the beach makes it worth it."

"It is beautiful out here, and oh look at this view, Harry it's breathtaking."

"Yeah. Yeah it is." Louis blushed after he realized Harry was looking directly at him instead of at the horizon.

Once they stepped onto the beach, Harry closed the gate, pocketed the keys, then stopped to help Louis pull on the hoodie. He pulled on his own and pulled off both their shoes and sat them by the gate. He then brushed Louis fingers with his own seeking permission to tangle them together. Louis took that step for them and grasped onto Harry's hand. Looking into each other's eyes in a silent agreement, they started down the beach, walking to the water's edge, then keeping in the shallow, warm water, not past their ankles.

"So," Louis said.

"Yeah," Harry added.

Harry gently squeezed their fingers together. "Um, I guess I just want to say that I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't trust you enough to fight for us and that I didn't believe in us enough I guess and that I gave up too easy. If I could change it I would. Mum was so disappointed. She loved you so much. Still does, I'm sure, wherever she is. I thought for sure she was going to kick me arse. But she told me it was my life and she'd love me either way. I'm sorry I took those last months from the two of you."

"Lou, she was like a mum to me and of course I miss her like crazy. But as long as you were with her and got to spend your time with her then I'm okay. And as far as everything else, yeah I'm not going to lie, it hurt. But I know you were hurting too. And it's the past, yeah? We were good together. And I personally think we could still be good together. I guess I'm kind of tiptoeing around here, Lou, but I'm not sure what I'm allowed to say. I think you know how I feel and I want to say it so bad but I want you to be okay with it. I don't want to rush you and I don't want to rush us if it's going to hurt us. I want it to be good this time, not that it wasn't good last time, because it was. It was the best. But it ended. I don't want it to end again, Lou. I won't be able to take it again. So I'll take what I can get. I'd rather go slow and get it right then rush into it and have either of us feeling lost or out of control."

Louis pulls his hand free and turned to face Harry. "Haz, I think you know how I feel too. God it's just so weird. Neither of us knew what we were getting into but here we are about to have not one but two babies! And you may be tiptoeing around, but I don't think either of us really know what we're doing here. We keep alluding to there being an us, but I sure as hell don't even know what an us looks like anymore. You're married, I have a job in Nevada, you've said everyone is up for a band reunion, there are two babies coming in six months I'm trying to not make meself get sick to feel like I have some sort of control. Man, me head is spinning. There's no control whatsoever." He whispers the last few words as he starts twisting the rubber band.

Harry reaches out for his hand again. Brings it to his lips and gently kisses the back of it, then rubs it with his thumb until Louis continues.

"And through it all, the mess of our past, the confusion and frustration of the present, the hurt, the hope, through it all, I just want one thing right now, just one thing."

"What Lou?" He whispered, "What do you want? You know I'll do anything for you. You know it. Just tell me."

"I just want you Haz. I just want you. Please just kiss me."

Before the last syllable was even out of his mouth, Harry's fingers were brushing Louis' cheeks, one hand holding his jaw as the other slid around to the back of his neck and their lips met, a gentle brushing at first getting more needy each second. Louis wound his arms around Harry's waist and pulled him closer. Harry started nipping at Louis' bottom lip like he always did before. He knew it would coax his mouth open for his tongue. And that's what Harry wanted right now. He needed to taste Louis. 

As soon as he opened up for him, Harry slid his tongue in and Louis moaned into Harry's mouth. It didn't take long to fall back into the old pattern of Harry taking the lead gently pulling Louis head aside by his hair as he kissed his way over his neck and around his ear. "You don't know how badly I've wanted to do that," he whispered in Louis' ear.

Louis' teeth were now scraping along Harry's neck as his hands were carding through his windswept curls. "Oh I think I do, Haz. I think I do."

Harry turned, holding onto Louis, then sat down in the sand, bringing Louis down in his lap. They grinned at each other, remembering how they say like this on the bus many nights, Louis in Harry's lap, legs wrapped around his waist, as they kissed for hours as they traveled the world. For both of them it kind of felt like they were traveling the world right now. The waves crashing on the beach, laughing into each other's mouths, pressing themselves as close as they could to each other. Harry's hands were on autopilot, grasping at Louis' arse while Louis moaned and felt himself grinding down onto Harry. Their kissing intensified, hands roaming, panting out each other's names. Until finally, finally...

"Lou? Lou. Lou, If we don't stop now I'm not sure I'm going to be able to."

"Oh. Yeah. I wasn't thinking. I guess we probably should, yeah?"

"I mean.. Well, we said we were going to take it slow and I know us. Once this happens," he motions between their two bodies, "once this happens, there's nothing slow about it anymore."

Louis grinned. "Yeah. I know what you mean. Kind of crazy though. Christ, I missed you, Haz. I missed us."

"Me too, Baby. But we're going to get it back. Ok? Let's do it right, yeah? Fight for it? Become a family?"

"You make it sound so easy. Are you sure it's going to be alright?"

"I'm only sure of one thing in this world, Lou. And that's us. It's all I was sure of before and I thought it was gone. But here you are. Right back where you belong. Here with me. If I'm sure of anything, Babe, it's us."

Louis rolled over pulling Harry on top of him. "Kiss me again."

******

Dinner was almost ready when they got back to the house. They were smiling and holding hands, not to mention covered in sand. Anne gave them a knowing smile. "I imagine dinner can wait a bit if you'd like to go shower and change first."

Biting their lips, they each kissed one of her cheeks and took off up the stairs. "Hey Lou, hold on and I'll grab you some clothes."

"Oh. Um..thanks. I'd like that." 

"You can come in you know. I'll just grab some joggers and a shirt. Is that alright?"

He stood in the doorway, taking in the huge room. "Sounds great. Could I maybe get another sweater too? I have me own socks, but I have been getting pretty cold."

"Sure. And if you're too cold just tell me. I can either get you another blanket or turn up the heat or something." 

"I will. I'm sure I'll be fine though."

As Harry continued to dig for something to fit Louis' smaller frame, Louis wandered through the room. Anne was right, there was nothing left of Emily there. This room was purely Harry. From the earthy tones of the paint to the vanilla and lavender scents that have been Harry's favorite candles forever. It's all Harry. Harry tossed Louis a shirt and he almost dropped it. Bending to pick it up, He saw the cracked frame in the trash bin. Harry had thrown away his wedding photo. Louis wasn't sure if the feeling in the pit of his stomach was because he was uncomfortable and probably shouldn't have seen it, or because he felt a genuine relief. But he was having some sort of anxiety. His fingers automatically reached for the rubber band on his wrist. He had unconsciously pulled it out too far and it snapped loudly and painfully against his skin. The pain brought tears to his eyes. Before he could think about it, he was pulling it again. After the second snap, his eyes were darting wildly around the room. He spotted the door to the ensuite but didn't think he could make it in time. He grabbed the trash bin just in time to catch what little contents were left in his stomach.

Harry had spun around at the sound of the sharp snap. He was talking but Louis didn't seem to hear him. After the second snap he knew what was coming. He reached Louis' side just in time to rub his back and murmur in his ear that it was ok. He kissed the top of his head and told him he was grabbing him a cool towel. He guided him to sit on the bed before heading in to wet a couple of towels for him.

He sat on the bed beside him and quietly wiped off his face, kissing his cheek and still rubbing his back. "Babe, are you ok? What happened? Where did you go? I was talking to you but it was like you weren't there. Did I do something? What's wrong, Lou?"

"I'm..I'm sorry. I got sick on your wedding photo." Louis said before he started crying.

"Really? Oh Lou, hell, I'd probably puke on it if I could. That should be the least of your worries. Now talk to me, please? What's wrong? Do you regret the kisses?"

"What? No! Of course not! I just. I was thinking of how much this room really is you. The colors, the smells, then when I missed the shirt you threw, I saw the wedding photo in the bin and I don't know. I guess a bunch of emotions hit at once."

"Like what?"

"Well like I was invading your privacy, your space. Like you just threw away your wedding photo and I shouldn't have seen that. But at the same time I was relieved that it was there in the trash, like a renewed hope, maybe? Then so much anxiety. Maybe it's simply a trigger because of the things she said. Either way, I could feel it coming. I was snapping my wrists, trying to make it stop, but my body wasn't listening."

"Babe, do you think maybe you were just nauseous after today then that little blast of stress? Don't you usually force yourself to throw up? But this happened and you couldn't stop it, right?"

Louis nodded. "Ok then. I'm really proud of you, Baby for trying to stop it. But this once, I think it may actually be a pregnancy thing. It's been a long day. Let's shower and get comfy, eat some dinner, then have an early night. Does dinner still sound ok?"

"Actually, more than ok. I feel like I haven't eaten in a month!"

"Ok. Do you just want to shower here? I know we haven't discussed that sort of thing yet, but I really don't want you in the shower alone if you're feeling ill."

"Um yeah. That's actually probably best. I wouldn't want to take a chance on falling."

"Exactly."

"Um.. So, uh.. Do you, uh, were you gonna join me?"

"That depends on if you want me to or if it makes you uncomfortable."

"No, I think I'd actually quite like it. Could I just brush my teeth first?"

"Yeah, there's spare brushes in packs under the counter."

"Thank you."

 

******

Harry started the shower, letting the water warm a little before he called for Louis. As he was waiting, he got out two big fluffy towels. As he walked into the room, Louis' eyes grew big as he took in his surroundings. The bathroom was huge. Modern yet functional. Completely what he would expect from Harry. There was a Jacuzzi tub that would easily fit two with a waterfall faucet. A double vanity and sink in a separate area. Another smaller room contained the toilet. And if course he would have a shower with jets coming out of the floor, ceiling, and all walls. It was currently on, steaming up the room and Louis stood there looking at Harry. "Um.. how do to want to do this?"

"It's up to you. I just want you to be comfortable and safe. I can wait here in the edge of the tub, I can go sit on the vanity or toilet. Or I can even go in my room. I just want you ok, Lou." Harry said honestly.

"Well, we've taken quite a bit of time already, do you want to share?" He blushed. "Not like that of course, just to get washed. I mean this shower is sure big enough," he laughed.

Harry smiled. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you were propositioning me Mr. Tomlinson! But I'd love to share the shower with you."

After that, everything was so easy with them. It just came natural. They stripped without any self consciousness, already knowing every little detail of each other's body. Harry helped Louis step into the shower. They started off washing themselves, but it turned into washing each other's backs as it always did. Harry's hand wandered around to Louis' stomach and he rubbed small circles over where their babies were growing. Louis' hands joined Harry's and he hooked his chin over Louis shoulder, murmuring, "thank you again. For this. For everything." 

Louis leaned back to give Harry a quick kiss. "You know, it may be crazy, but I'm glad it worked out like this."

"Me too." With that Harry turned Louis around and kissed him deeply, hands on the side of his face, thumbs caressing his cheeks. "Me too. Now we better get out of here before we miss dinner altogether."

Louis hummed in agreement and gave Harry another peck on the lips and a swat on the behind.

"Oh, look who's getting cheeky," Harry smiled. "I like it." He turned back and leaned down, kissing Louis tummy and whispering, "your daddy is a menace. You'll have to watch out for him."

"I heard that, Harold!" Louis said with a hitch in his breath, still feeling Harry's lips on his skin.

Harry just handed him a towel while he laughed.

They both arrived at the dinner table to a smiling Anne. "Good thing lasagna is easy to keep warm, boys. Had a good day, I assume?"

"Yeah, Mum, we did. I think things will be getting a lot better."

Louis nodded in agreement as he was reaching for the food. The others laughed and joined in. "I'm glad your appetite is returning, Boo," Anne smiled.

"Me too. This looks like heaven, best thing I've seen in weeks."

"Heyyy. I'm offended."

"No offence, Haz, but this has you beat by a mile."

They all laughed and ate dinner with light conversation and silly banter.

After dinner, Anne retired to her room and Louis said he should get some rest too. Harry walked him to his room and kissed him goodnight. "Are you going to be alright? You know I'm supposed to keep you busy for awhile. And you were nauseas earlier. You know I worry."

"I suppose we could watch a movie or something."

"I have some in my room, if you don't mind sharing for awhile."

"Curly, we shared my hospital bed, which was probably an eighth the size of your bed. I'm sure I can manage watching a movie in yours with you."

So they settled in under the covers with Batman vs. Superman playing on Harry's big screen.

Harry knew it wouldn't be long until Louis was out cold, snoring lightly on the pillow beside him. He turned the movie off, stripped off his joggers, turned the light off, and slipped back under the covers. He pulled Louis closer and tangled their legs like they always did. As he kissed his cheek and settled in behind him, He wrapped his arms around him, rubbing his tummy. "Goodnight little ones. And goodnight, Lou. I love you too. I never stopped either." He whispered as he hugged him tighter to him and drifted off to sleep.

******

The next day flew by with the all three of them lounging by the pool, enjoying each other's company and phoning Gemma, Liam and Niall for Louis to finally say his hellos. Everyone was excited to hear his voice and catch up. Harry had warned each of them ahead of time not to bring up any sensitive subjects unless Louis himself did. Surprisingly he did with ease, even a little excitement in his voice. They all made promises to visit soon. 

The day ended much like the previous one, with both men cuddled in Harry's bed with a movie and ice cream, this time, finally watching The Notebook, Harry's favorite movie. Again, Louis fell asleep partway into it and Harry cuddled up to him, holding him as they drifted off to sleep.

"Lou, Baby. Lou, we need to get up. We have to be at Dr. Jerome's office in a couple hours."

"Go away," he mumbled.

"Nope. Gotta get ready. What do you want to wear?"

"Something comfortable. Can I sleep on the way there?"

"Course. But first you need to get up and get ready, yeah?"

He grumbled but stumbled into the bathroom to wee, wash his face and brush his teeth. Harry basically dressed him and practically carried him to the car. Paul was driving today so that Harry could sit with Louis, who did indeed, sleep all the way there, drooling on Harry's shirt.

Dr. Jerome was impressed with his weight and the measurements. He refilled the prescription for Louis' prenatal vitamins and gave them permission for the trip to Nevada, instructing them to call if they had any problems. 

The ride home was spent with Louis eating a sandwich they grabbed from a local deli and listing of the things he would need from his apartment. When they got back, he wrote it all down on a small notepad he found in Harry's kitchen. He added a list of snacks he wanted for the drive. "Really Lou? Chicken nuggets? Can't we just stop and get them? They'll be cold and greasy. Not at all healthy for you. Not that they are anyway," he mumbled.

"Hey, do really want the tabloids to report that after years apart, Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson are spotted together going through a McDonald's drive through heading towards Vegas?"

"I guess not. But how about we have them when we get there then? You could go get them. People know you there, right?"

"Of course They know me Harry. I'm a local teacher. But I want them for the ride."

"Ok, ok. I'll go get them in the morning."

"And get extra please. I may want some for breakfast. Haven't had me some nuggets in a while."

"Aye, aye Captain. Anything else?"

"Oh, who's being cheeky now?" Louis laughed.

"Well you aren't really leaving me any choice are you?"

"Oh you have plenty of choices, sir. You could tell me no."

"Never, Lou. I'd never tell you no."

"Oh really?"

"Really."

"Then how about.."

Before he could even finish the sentence, Harry's lips were on his. Hard, persistent, and demanding. Louis opened up to him immediately, tongues tangling, teeth clashing.

"Lou, I want you so much."

"Me too Haz. We should wait. But this feels so good. Can we just make out for awhile?"

"Course we can. But can we move it out of the kitchen?"

They kissed their way into the living room where Harry pulled Louis down into his lap, hands sliding up under the back of his shirt. They kissed, some more before Harry's hands moved to Louis' ass and he started kissing his way down Louis' neck, sucking and biting just the way he remembered he liked it. Louis moaned in his ear, hands tangled in Harry's hair.

"Miss your long hair. I loved pulling it."

"I miss that too. I'll have to grow it back out," he panted. 

As they continued to kiss and touch, Louis found himself grinding down on Harry, Harry pushing up to provide some friction and relief to them both.

"Harry."

"Yes, Baby?"

"Can you? Please?"

"What is it, Love? What do you need?"

"Touch me, please?" He panted. "Please?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, please, Haz."

Harry left one hand on Louis' ass and squeezed as he eased the other along the waistband of his joggers and slipped it down the front, gently palming Louis through the thin fabric of his pants. Louis hissed and bit into Harry's neck.

"That ok, Babe? You like that?"

"More, Haz. I want more. You know how I like it."

Harry was so turned on. He couldn't help grinding up on Louis as his hand made its way into his pants. He squeezed around the base of his thick cock, his thumb making a quick swipe across the head. That made Louis moan even louder and add another bite to Harry's already bruising neck.

"That's how you like it, yeah? I wanna hear you, Baby. Show me how good it feels," panted Harry, working his hand faster. He twisted his wrist, swiping across the head and gathering the slippery pre-cum that was already pooling there. The added moisture made Harry's hand slide faster and smoother up and down Louis' cock.

"Harry.. Haz.. It feels.. Oh God."

"That's it, Baby. I got you. Let go."

Louis was moaning into Harry's neck, hands tangled in his hair, grinding down in his lap as Harry was pushing up.

"Kiss me," Louis begged.

Their mouths met in a deep kiss as Harry kept pumping Louis' cock. He bit Louis lower lip, then sucked it into his mouth, urging him on with his tongue and lips as his hand kept working him towards his high. Louis thrust his hips forward into Harry's hand as he threw his head back and cried out, spilling over Harry's hand. Harry thrust his own hips up into Louis through their clothes one final time before he was coming in his pants. 

He worked Louis through his climax, bringing their foreheads together, both trying to catch their breath. He gently pulled his hand free, wiping it on the leg of his joggers. Then he pulled Louis to him and kissed him deeply. "You ok?"

"More than. You?"

"Other than coming in my pants like a teenager, yeah I'm good," he laughed. "God I missed you."

"Missed you too, Hazza."

They sat like that for a few minutes until Harry knew that if they didn't clean up Then he would have a very asleep boy in his lap. "Shower?"

"Mmm.."

"Come on. I'll carry you." He stood up and picked him up and Louis immediately wrapped his legs around his waist. He walked them upstairs as straight into his ensuite.

"Baby, you wanna take a bubble bath?" Harry asked, kissing Louis' cheek. 

"No. Too tired."

Harry laughed. "Ok then." He turned the water on to heat up, then stripped them both down, tossing their clothes in the hamper. He helped Louis into the shower and washed his hair first, taking care to massage his scalp just how he liked. He gave him a quick wash, then stepped out to wrap him in a fluffy towel and set him on the bed. He then jumped back in to wash himself, then he joined Louis in his bedroom. After rummaging around, he found some basketball shorts and an old band t-shirt. He quickly dressed Louis and fluffed his hair a little. "Do you want to nap a little before lunch? I can start packing the car for in the morning."

"Sounds good. I'm so tired. Not sure why, I really didn't do anything," he giggled.

Harry just smirked, "yeah, I was there. But seriously, it probably wore you out. It takes a lot to moan that loud."

He ducked as a pillow came flying at him. His hands came up in self defense, "Ok, ok... I give up... Just joking." He laughed.

"That's better. You need to be nice to me."

"I know. I'll be on my best behavior from now on. Forgive me?"

"I suppose. You are still getting me chicken nuggets in the morning, right?"

"Of course, Lou."

"Ok. Then we'll call it even," he said, looking over with a smile on his lips, snuggling down in Harry's bed to take a nap.

Harry just shook his head and laughed as he kissed him and left to get stuff ready for their trip and check on lunch.

******

The next morning, Harry made sure that the car was packed, Louis' clothes were laid out, and all the snacks were already in the car except for their tea, a banana and a muffin for each of them, and Louis' chicken nuggets. Then he went about the task of getting the little menace out of bed. As had become routine, Louis had fallen asleep in Harry's bed and they had slept curled up together with Harry rubbing his tummy. 

Harry had been a little nervous about Louis' reaction to their activities earlier in the day, but he had only been a little hesitant at first about having lunch, then seemed a little distant until Harry grabbed his hand and pulled him over to him and said how much he was looking forward to their trip. He kissed him and asked if Louis would show him the school where he worked and bring back the recordings of the musicals he had produced so they could watch them together. That seemed to relax him some. When Anne noticed him playing with the rubber band later that evening, she nudged Harry and he suggested an early night. 

They cuddled up and talked about random things until Harry reached over and began rubbing circles over Louis' abdomen. Their eyes met and Harry found himself leaning in for a kiss. It was slow and gentle, not meant to lead anywhere except to express the things they couldn't say out loud just quite yet. Harry kissed Louis' stomach, whispering that daddy loved them and for them to please go easy on daddy Lou and not make him too tired or feel too sick over the next few months. They fell asleep tangled together as Harry couldn't quite help feeling that this was just somehow 'right'. It was how things were supposed to be. This house never felt like home with Emily. It felt like Louis belonged there. He fell asleep with a smile on his face.

He wasn't smiling so much now. "Come on, Lou, please? We really need to get on the road. Your clothes are right here and you can sleep the whole way there if you want. Everything is all ready, the car is packed, breakfast is waiting, please. I just need you up and dressed."

"Don't wanna."

"Please don't tell me we're going to do this every morning forever," Harry groaned. "Are you going to be worse than our kids?"

"Kids are always worse."

"I don't know. I think the kids would have already been downstairs at the thought of chicken nuggets for breakfast."

"You got my chicken nuggets? Why didn't you say so?"

"Did you seriously not hear me say that breakfast was waiting?"

"But you didn't say chicken nuggets!"

"Louis, I had to literally pinky promise you chicken nuggets last night. Did you seriously think I wouldn't get them?"

"Well.."

"Well nothing. Just get up and get dressed before they get too cold." Harry shook his head and held a hand out to help Louis up. "Come on Babe."

"I'm coming. Outta my way. My bladder is getting smaller every day." He made a quick sprint for the bathroom with Harry staring after him, wondering how he could be so sound asleep one moment, then bounding off to the bathroom the next. He was just happy he was out of bed.

After Louis returned they finished getting ready, kissed Anne goodbye and were on the road within thirty minutes.

The normally six hour drive took almost eight because of all the stops they needed to make for Louis to wee, walk out leg cramps, and buy more snacks, including two more orders of chicken nuggets, which let to an argument about whether Harry was right or not about just waiting on the nuggets because they ended up stopping anyway and still didn't get spotted at any of their stops that they could tell. Of course that made Louis mad that he was wrong, so he pouted for a good two hours.

When they were about an hour from Louis’ home, he started getting antsy. Harry kept a close eye on him and noticed him rubbing his wrist where there should have been a rubber band. Then he asked Harry to stop for a bathroom break but for the first time that day had not asked that Harry come with him. When Harry asked if he was alright, he couldn't quite meet his eyes. 

Harry waited about three minutes, a reasonable amount of time for a wee he thought. Then he followed Louis into the service station's restroom. He heard the gagging as soon as the door opened. "Lou? Lou, what's wrong?" His heart was pounding because in the back of his mind, he already knew what was wrong. Louis has just made himself sick again. He didn't ask for help, didn't say he was nauseous from the food or the travel. He hadn't wanted Harry in here with him, couldn't meet his eyes. He had known what he was about to do. 

"Lou, please talk to me. What's going on?"

"In sorry, Haz. I'm so sorry."

"It's ok, Baby. Just talk to me. Let's talk it out, yeah? How can I help? Can you open the door? Come on out here? Or let me in there?"

"Just so much is up in the air with us right now. We're having two babies, Hazza?"

Harry smiled. "Yeah, Lou, we are. You just realizing that, huh?"

"Yeah. I mean, no, but, kinda. Like it was the plan to be going back and forth between here and LA until I had them, then come back here and get on with my life. My neighbors know what I'm doing. They're feeding my cat. Oh my God, Harry, I have a cat. I forgot all about her. Her name is Emerald. I named her that after your eyes. Hers are almost just like yours but not quite as beautiful. No one's are as beautiful as yours. But yeah, they know. And of course the school administrators know because I'll be delivering during the school year, so they would all know I was pregnant, then I would need time off to be in LA for the delivery, then the recovery before they let me come back to school, though it wouldn't be a full six weeks because I wouldn't have the baby, you would. I'm not supposed to be having a baby for me, much less two of them."

"Lou, calm down. This is all stuff we can figure out."

"No Harry, don't you see? Everyone knows that I'm being a surrogate. They don't know it's for you. And you and I've been getting along, we've had fun. But is it because we missed each other and want each other? Or is it because of these crazy circumstances? What if I go home with you tomorrow and you decide you don't want me but by then it's too late and I'm already attached to the babies? Oh God, I'm already attached. I love them. Harry, these are my babies too."

"I know that, Lou. That's why I tore up the contact. I want you to be their dad. You are their dad."

"But you're they'd dad too."

"Yes, I am. We can do this together, Lou. We talked about it. We said we were going to try."

"But what if we can't? What happens? I live here, you live there. My job is here. My cat is here. The band is there. How can we tour with babies?"

"I was hoping by trying, it would mean that we would be closer to each other. If you don't want to move to LA, then I would move here. Your cat can go wherever you are. She can come with us tomorrow if you want. We wouldn't tour as a band right away. We would have to put an album together first and we haven't even started writing, so we have some time before a tour. And remember Lux? She grew up on the road. It will be fine. We will have Lou back. She'll have Lux and Charlie. Lottie will be with us, I'm sure. I'm betting Fizzy, Phoebe and Daisy will be too at some point. Gemma and Mum. Plus Liam and Cheryl will have their kids, Niall and Amy may be close to starting a family by then. We'll be fine. We'll have all kinds of help."

"No, Lou and Lux probably hate me. I haven't talked to them in forever. They wouldn't want to be near me. But Harry, I'm scared. If we try this and I've moved to LA and it doesn't work, I've lost my home, my job, the few friends I have, plus you, my children. Everything. If I stay here and we try and it doesn't work, I'll still have a home and a job, but I'll still have lost the most important things in the world... You and the babies."

"Baby, you're never going to lose your babies. Remember? I told you I would never take them away from you."

"But what do I tell everyone? I go to LA as a surrogate and I show back up to pack me stuff and move and by the way, Harry Styles is here helping me. Surprise. Oh yeah, by the way, they're his babies. My students are going to flip out!"

Louis was working himself into another panic attack. "Hey babe, slow down. Your getting yourself all worked up. For now, you don't have to say anything you don't feel comfortable with. No one has to know I'm the other father. You can just be moving to LA for medical reasons. Stay in touch with your school and if you want to come back when school starts, then do it. I would never stand in your way. I just want you happy and healthy, Lou."

Louis finally opened the door. Harry took his hand and led him to the sink where he helped to wash his face. Harry kissed his cheek. "Lou, whatever you decide, I'm with you one hundred percent. I'll always be on your side, please know that. And please, can we just get out of this public restroom and back to the car? I'll grab you some water or ginger ale. We can talk on the way, yeah?"

Louis nodded as he washed his hands and splashed some water on his face. "Yeah. I'm sorry. This was stupid of me."

"Not stupid, Baby. You were scared and upset. Don’t ever think that makes you stupid.”

“It makes me weak, I haven’t done that in a while. Now look.”

“Then we start over. You aren’t weak, Lou. You are human, with human emotions. It’s ok. Are you feeling better now?”

“Yeah. Thank you, Harry.”

“Lou, there is no need to thank me. I said I’m here for you through everything and I mean everything. This is a part of it. We will deal with it together. Ok? Now let me go grab some cold drinks. Can you get to the car alright?”

When Louis nodded Harry tossed him the keys and went into the store to grab the drinks.

The rest of the trip was uneventful as Louis slept until Harry woke him up at the city limits sign to get directions to his apartment. He helped Louis in first then came back out for their bags. When he walked back in a beautiful little grey fluffball came up and curled around his feet, giving short little mews, sort of like she was talking to him. Louis laughed, “Harry, meet Emerald. Emerald, Harry. I think she may be telling you off for keeping me away for so long,” he reached down to pick her up.

Harry rubbed her soft fur and scratched her ears. She started purring. “Aha, seems I’ve found my way into her good graces.” 

“I should hope so, she is your name sake after all!” They both laughed, Louis’ laughter finally reaching his eyes, showing the little crinkles around the beautiful blue pools there. Harry reached out and touched his cheek with the back of his hand. “It’s good to see you happy. You missed her.”

“I did.”

“Then she comes back with us. It’s settled. Can’t have you two separated any longer.”

Louis smiled. “Thank you, Hazza.”

“Now, how about you show me around? We can order in if you would like, unless you have something here I can cook?” he looked at him skeptically since Louis was famous for his non-cooking and even kitchen danger at times.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. You know I have nothing here. All of the local restaurants are on speed dial.”

“Figured as much,” grumbled Harry. “Ok, quick tour, early dinner, then how about we get some rest. Maybe we will save the town tour and packing for tomorrow and either drive tomorrow night or leave the next morning. There is nothing pressing at home that we are missing. And it will give you more time to show me the place that is such an important part of your life.”

“You wouldn’t mind?”

“Not at all. I want to know you, Lou. I want to see what I’ve missed out on. You have been able to see mine through the tabloids and press. You said you followed my achievements, my life. I haven’t been able to do that. I want to see what has been your life for the past five years.”

“Well, technically, I’ve only been here for four of those years, but you didn’t miss anything for the first one, just me moping around Donny, spending as much time with the family as possible, trying to figure out me life. Then I decided to try to start over. This was it.”

“Then this is what I want to see. Tour please.” They both laughed.

“Impatient much? Alright, alright. Come on. There’s not much to see really. As you can tell, we are standing in the living room. Nothing exciting. I have my keyboard in the corner, no room for a piano. Fireplace that has never been used. Figured I’d set the place on fire. Couldn't do that to the neighbors,” Harry snorted out a laugh at that. “Open kitchen, doesn’t get used much of course, except to put my beer, milk and water in the fridge and crisps and cereal in the cupboards. I think I have a few plates and glasses in there. I only use the kettle for my tea, with the teacup, and of course my cereal bowl and spoon. Of course the breakfast bar is between the two.” He led them down a small hall. This smaller bedroom is where family stays when they have time to visit, doesn’t get used much. Has a little bathroom in there. Not sure when it was last cleaned, so I wouldn’t venture in there if I were you. And here is my room. It’s where I spend most of my time. Has my desk for doing my school work and writing, my computers and soundboard are there in the corner, my tv on the wall, and dresser, bed and nightstands. Through there is my personal bathroom, but don’t get your hopes up, it is nothing as glorious as yours, doesn’t even come with a tub. And that’s it. The grand tour.” He waved his hands in a huge sweeping motion. Not too elegant, but it’s mine.

“And I like it Lou. It fits you. Clothes all over the place, no food in the fridge, I’m not making fun, I’m serious. Like your room back in our London flat. You didn’t spend much time in there, but it was yours and it was just like this. It fit you. Something not grand and fancy, just homey and comfortable. I love it.”

Louis blushed. “Thank you. Now what were you saying about food earlier?”

“Well, that depends on what all you have on your speed dial,” he laughed.

They settled on chinese and before long they were settled in the middle of Louis’ bed with their containers. “So,” Harry said as he looked around, “there are a lot of memories you brought here with you.”

“Yeah. The family, of course. I just have to have Mum looking over me. And can you believe a fan sent me this drawing? It is amazing. I seen it on tumblr and contacted her. Bout shit her pants when I offered to buy it. She refused to take any money for it and sent it straight away to my attorney. She never posted anything about it either. I was amazed. Anyway, look at how much Ernie and Dorie have grown up. I can hardly believe it. They barely remember Mum. It breaks my heart.”

Harry nodded and rubbed Louis’ back. “That has to be hard. I know you have to still miss her so much.”

“I do. And I miss you lot too. I have so many band photos too. Here’s Niall and I in the golf cart, Liam and I having a water fight, Zayn and I sharing a toy monkey in Detroit, and I have the same photo of you and I in Brasil that you do.” Harry looked closely. While all the other photos that Louis had pointed out were hung on the walls in various spots, there were two framed photos on one of the nightstands. One was of Louis and Johanna, the other was the same selfie of the boys holding hands at the statue in Rio. 

“What are the two albums beside them?” Harry asked.

“One is a scrapbook of Mum. Something to help keep her alive for me and I show the other kids at times too. I have photos, me bracelet from the wedding, little notes she wrote me, lists she made for the charities, stuff like that. The other is of us. You and me.”

“Can I see?”

“Maybe sometime, but not right now. I’m too drained. I think we still have a lot of talking to do after we wake up and it’s going to be a long night.”

“You are probably right. Let’s get some sleep. Would you like me to go the the guest room to give you some time and space?”

“No, I’d really like you to hold me. I’ve grown quite used to it.” They pulled the covers over them and Harry held Louis close with his hand on his tummy, rubbing little circles.

“You know, I do believe your tummy has grown just a tad more. It is a little rounder here than it was before.” 

“Yeah, I noticed that.”

“Our little ones are growing, Lou. That’s exciting. I wonder what they will be like? What they will look like? Who they will act like? Boys? Girls? One of each? Do you want to know ahead of time? Have you thought about names? Will they be little trouble makers like you, or little angels like me?” That earned an elbow poke from Louis and a huff.

“I wonder sometimes. But then I get afraid to.”

“Oh Baby, I told you. You are their dad. You will raise them. You will probably be much better at it than I will. You have so much more experience. Wherever you are, that’s where they will be. If you want to live right here in this apartment, you will. We will figure something out.”

“No, Harry! I want you with them too. I want us all together. Don’t you get it? I love you. I am in love with you. I never stopped.”

“I know that, Lou. I heard you say it that night. And you have to know I feel the same way. And I am serious, I will live right here with you. I’d give up everything for you. I could be and would be happy right here with my family, with you and our children. I mean that. The acting, singing, none of it means anything compared to you. You said you followed my career. Did you ever take a close look at those photos and compare them to the ones of me with you? My smile was less, there was less life, I was so hollow inside. I’m not me without you, Lou.”

“Haz…”

Harry looked at him for permission. When he saw it in his eyes, he pulled him by the hand, over to him and pressed their joined hands up against their chests, where Harry’s heart was beating just as fast as his. He kissed him with more intensity than he’d ever felt. He’d never felt so loved. He knew they both wanted this.

His arms wound around Louis’ neck, his hands winding through Louis' hair, curling his silken strands around his fingers. Harry’s tongue was moving against Louis’, creating friction that quickly sent heat through both their bodies. He slid one hand gently down to tug at Louis’ shirt.

He licked along Louis’ tongue, the roof of his mouth, along his teeth, desperate to feel all of him, to have all of him. Louis ground against Harry, moving his hips in circles, pressing into him, rubbing against his crotch. Harry could feel that they were both hard. He felt Louis’ cock against his thigh and he moaned into his mouth.

As they lay there breathing together Louis continued to grind his hips against Harry, looking into his eyes. He smiled, laughed a little, closing his eyes as he ran the backs of his hands down the sides of Harry’s face. His skin was so smooth, so warm. "Hazza."

He trailed a strand of kisses down his jawline and to his neck, where he just kissed and sucked as Harry’s head rolled back. Harry released a strained groan from deep in his throat. Louis remembered it to be the prettiest sound he’d ever heard.

“Lou,” Harry sighed as Louis began to suck a love bite into his neck, leaving his mark on his flesh.

He brought his face up and tilted Harry’s head back down to kiss him more, licking into his mouth, their lips coming together with a zap of electricity. Harry moved his lips down Louis’s neck, and returned the favour, leaving a love bite of his own against Louis’ golden skin. He sighed and whined at the vibrant feeling of Harry’s teeth sinking into his flesh, running over his skin fleetingly, his tongue dancing on his skin in long, curved patterns.

“Say it,” Harry whispered against Louis’s neck before moving in to deepen the mark and Louis knew exactly what he meant instinctively, and he wanted to get the words out, but he couldn’t manage anything but a loud moan followed by little whimpers.

“Say it,” Harry repeated into Louis’ skin.

“I... I love you.“ Louis stated in a breathless sigh. “I’m yours, Harry. I'm all yours."

“Fuck,” Harry said, sucking another lovebite into his neck.

“I’m yours, Harry, fuck, I’m yours." Harry swivelled his hips against Louis’ grinding his cock into Louis’ thigh as he brought his face up to kiss him again.

It was passionate and hot, pure, perfect, like the love they had shared for years. Everything it was supposed to be. Louis moved his hand down from Harry’s neck to his crotch, rubbing his cock through his jeans.

“You’re hard for me,” he whispered into Harry’s mouth, his breath hot in Harry’s mouth. "Always hard for me."

“Fuck Lou, always,” Harry gasped. “Always have been. Even when we weren't together. Had dreams about you."

Louis squeezed his hand, making Harry buck up into his touch. He palmed his jeans teasingly, knowing just how Harry liked the chase, how good it felt for him to rub the heel of his hand up the length of Harry’s cock, thumbing around the outline of the tip through the fabric of Harry’s jeans. He wanted to just breathe with Harry, rest their foreheads together and breathe, but he couldn’t stop kissing him, he couldn’t get his lips off him.

“Shit,” Harry panted, as Louis fumbled with the zipper of his jeans, working it open and pushing them down past his bum.

"Louis, are you sure about this?" Harry said, voice trembling as Louis' hand worked down his cock.

"Positive. Never been so sure." Harry's cock was bare now, making him grind and pant even more as Louis continued to stroke him. Harry had brought his own hand to Louis’ crotch, rubbing him through his joggers. He was about to push them down when Louis’ hand suddenly wrapped around his dick and started jerking it harder, his other hand lightly pulling Harry’s hair.

“Oh, fucking shit, yeah,” Harry moaned, his eyes rolling back. His head fell forward a little, but Louis gave his curls a little tug, pulling his head back. He grunted. “Oh, fuck! Yeah, Lou, yeah, Baby, that's it, pull my hair. You know how I like it.”

Louis smiled at the memory of how much Harry liked giving up control and being pliant for Louis every now and then. Louis yanked a little harder, and was rewarded with an amazing whining sound from Harry.

“You’re so gorgeous begging for it, Haz,” Louis purred, licking along Harry’s neck.

“Fuck, do it again.” Louis pulled his hair, tightening his grip this time.

“Harder." Louis pulled harder, still working Harry’s cock in his other hand, running his fingers up and down his base fast and hot. “Yeah, Baby, pull my fucking hair.” Louis moved his lips down Harry’s neck, his hot, wet breath bringing more excitement to Harry. His tongue swept slowly across Harry’s collarbones, and he ran his teeth over the smooth contours. He nibbled at them lightly, breathing and licking over the tattoos there. He gave Harry one last good, hard tug in his hair, sending him into a euphoric wail, before removing his hand and trailing it down Harry’s body as he scooted down in the bed, his face poised directly in front of Harry’s cock.

At first he brought his mouth down slowly onto Harry, licking a thick stripe up the underside, and teasing the head with his tongue. But then, he moved his head all the way down, taking Harry fully in his throat, still licking at his length as he moved his lips up and down. Every time he came back down, he sank down fully on Harry’s cock, Harry’s balls hitting his chin, his cock tight in the wet fever of Louis’ throat. He felt Harry's hands in his own hair now.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Harry cried, his fingers moving deliberately through Louis’s hair. “You look so beautiful, Lou. Look so pretty my cock in your mouth.”

Louis let out a moan around Harry’s dick and bobbed on it some more, reaching his hands up under Harry to grab at the skin of his arse. He gripped tightly, squeezing his cheeks, feeling Harry clench at the contact. As he moved his head on Harry’s cock, he traced a finger down the crack of his arse, spreading his arse cheeks apart with his other hand, teasing the rim of his hole with one fingertip.

“Louis, oh my God, want your fingers. You know how I like it. Please, baby?” Harry begged.

Louis pulled off and slid back up the bed, kissing Harry's body as he went. 

“I’d love to give you my fingers, Haz. Later," he purred staring deep into Harry’s eyes. “But I really want you to fuck me right now.”

Harry’s breath stuttered in his throat. “Shit, Louis. Are you sure? I don't want any regrets.”

“Yeah. The only regret I'll have is if we don't," Louis grinned, and ground his clothed hips in an utterly sinful slow circle against Harry’s bare, hard cock, still wet from Louis’s mouth. “Gonna do it, then?” He bucked his hips up, and Harry moaned again. “Gonna fuck me?”

“Yeah, shit, yeah.” Harry shoved his jeans all the way off and began to strip.

“You want me naked?” Louis asked, teasingly.

“So bad, Lou. Wanna see you.”

“Yeah?” Louis stripped his t-shirt off teasingly, and ran a hand down his bare chest. Harry was fully nude now, and he bit his lip, holding in the sounds Louis had him wanting to make. Louis teased his fingertips along the waistband of his joggers and pulled them with a little laugh, before wiggling them down his legs at the most painfully slow pace. He was down to just his black boxer briefs. He hooked his thumbs in them and wiggled his eyebrows at Harry.

“Stop teasing, I need to see you again like this. It's been too long,” Harry hissed, his voice hoarse.

“Yeah? What parts, love? What do you wanna see?” Louis asked.

Harry took the opportunity as an invitation, beginning a wake of tempered kisses along his body, down his chest, down his stomach, to the waistband of his pants. As he kissed along the bulging length of Louis’ clothed, hard cock, he worked the briefs down Louis’ legs. "All of you, Lou, all of you."

As Louis' dick sprang free Harry wasted no time to suck it into his mouth. Louis let out a loud whimper. Harry licked along his cock, fisting with his hand, playing with his balls, squeezing them lightly and sucking them into his mouth. He enveloped the head of Louis’ cock before taking it down in slow strides, careful to make this last as long as possible for Louis. Harry pulled off with a pop. He pushed pushed Louis' legs up so that his arse was in Harry’s face. It was just as glorious as Harry remembered it. Firm and perfect. Louis moaned breathily when Harry sunk his teeth into it.

“This. I missed this,” he drawled, face pressed up against Louis’ arse, his voice rumbling against him. Louis shivered and pushed back onto Harry’s face. “God, I could do this all night. Your perfect arse.” He punctuated the last few words by giving Louis’ arse cheeks a rough squeeze, grabbing the skin tightly.

“Fuck, Harry. Feels so good.” Louis pressed back even further against Harry’s face, so that Harry had even more access.

“I've wanted you for so long, baby,” Harry murmured. And  
before Louis could say anything, Harry had spread his cheeks and licked a teasing stripe up Louis’s crack.

“Oh, shit,” Louis sighed, pushing his hands out to fist the sheets and pushed his arse back on Harry’s face.

Harry wiggled his head in between Louis’ cheeks, making vibrations and friction that made Louis moan. Then, he spread Louis even further open and begun to lick at the rim of his tight, pink hole.

“God, that’s so pretty,” he moaned. "Missed you so much." He licked around Louis’ rim in circles, teasing the tight muscles and making Louis shake and quiver. Slowly, he licked into Louis’s hole, pushing past the tight rim with his tongue. He started finding a rhythm, licking up and down, in and out, in swift, swiping motions. Louis let out a desperate whine. When Harry pulled out a little, Louis arched back towards his touch, following his tongue, craving the touch. He needed Harry inside him.

“More Harry, more,” he whined. “God, need you so fucking bad.”

Harry gave one of his arse cheeks a light smack, knowing it was what Louis liked. They were so good at this. Give and take. Trading control. He felt his own cock getting even harder and could see how red and angry looking Louis' cock was now. They were both so turned on. He backed away a little, kissed along the curve of his arse, bit once, and watched how Louis' hole clenched and unclenched, bright pink and puckering, until he couldn’t hold it anymore, and he brought his thumbs towards Louis’s hole, curling his tongue and working up a momentum as he darted his tongue in and out while pressing the tips of his thumbs in along with his tongue. His movements and Louis’ moans synced up, rhythmically. Louis pushing against Harry more firmly, demanding more. Harry had to take a moment to squeeze himself keep himself from coming right then and there.

 

Louis circled his hips against Harry’s face while Harry licked in to him, tongue moving in and out as fast as he could manage, teasing him until they were both barely hanging on. Louis wanted more. He needed more.

“Fuck me with your fingers,” he instructed, his voice breaking. "Please, Haz. Please. I need it. I need you," He panted out.

Harry gripped Louis’ bum firmly, digging his nails in, wanting to leave marks, he wanted Louis to remember that he belonged to Harry. Louis whined when he finally felt one of Harry's long fingers sliding up and down his crack, fingertip tracing the trickle of sweat on Louis’s skin. Another weak whine escaped from Louis’ throat as his head thrashed from side to side. He was getting impatient. He needed Harry now.

"Haz, please. Top right drawer. Lube. Now."

Harry grinned up art him. "Well ok, since you asked so nicely and all."

“C’mon then. On with it. Chop chop,” he commanded. 

Harry just laughed and reached for the stuff. “Be quick.” Louis pushed him towards the drawer.

In only a few seconds, Louis heard the snick of the bottle cap and the sound of lube being smeared between Harry's fingers. Before he could react, Harry’s lips were on his neck, biting hard, while one finger grazed his hole. The touch making him tremble. “Fuck,” he said, voice barely a whisper. 

Harry’s index finger rubbed gently around the rim, smearing the lube around, getting Louis wet, and he shuddered shakily, clenching around Harry’s finger.

“Fuck, you’re tight, Baby.” Harry twisted his finger past Louis’s rim to the second knuckle, feeling the tightness of Louis’s walls, close in on his fingertip.

“Harry,” Louis said, sucking a sharp breath, “do it, come on. Now. No more waiting.”

Harry obliged, grinding his finger deep into Louis’s hole, bending and hooking it and winding it around in a repeated circular pattern. Louis, whimpered high and breathy while grinding his hips in movements mirroring the path of Harry’s finger, his bum moving in time to Harry’s finger.

“Fuck, Lou, holy shit.” Harry bowed his head to press reverent kisses on the sweat-salty skin of Louis’ collar bones. 

“Gimme another,” Louis said. “I can take it, promise.”

“Ya sure? This alright, yeah?" Harry asked as he pulled his finger out of Louis and squeezed some lube onto his middle finger, before pressing both fingers against Louis’s hole and slowly plunging back in.

Louis whimpered and let out a low scream. Harry began scissoring his fingers inside him. He rolled over some, bringing Louis with him a little, so they were on their sides. He kept his fingers working Louis' hole, while he used his other hand to stroking his palm down Louis’s cock, dragging down around his base before pulling back up, fisting his cock, up and down quickly. He left a trail of kisses down the center of Louis’ chest.

“Harry, yes, oh, Haz... Oh..fuck yeah.” He turned his head to meet Harry’s gaze, and it was positively electric the way their eyes locked on each other. “Another. Please. Give me another, Harry. Want ya to give me three.”

“Yeah. Anything for you, Baby." Harry smiled his best dimpled smirk at Louis, working his fingers faster inside Louis, making his body pulse in jerky movements. Louis leaned forward and rested his forehead on Harry's. His face was damp with sweat and Harry knew that he was about to take him completely apart.

“Fuck,” Louis hissed at the feeling. Stretched so full like all the breath had been knocked from him. A groan tumbled from Louis' mouth as Harry kept up a violent rhythm fucking into Louis with all three fingers. As Louis threw his head back and pushed his arse back on Harry's hand, Harry's mouth attached to Louis' neck, biting and sucking the sensitive skin there. The hand that had been pumping Louis' hard cock was now cupping and rolling his balls, bringing him right to the edge, then easing up. Louis gyrated his bum back on Harry’s hand while Harry kept up a brutal pace with all three fingers. 

“Harry,” he whispered frantically, trying to slow the movements of his hips some. “I’m gonna come if you don’t fuck me right now.” He arched his back, hips bucking off the bed, calling out Harry's name, needing to feel him inside right now.

Harry pulled his fingers out and immediately let go of his cock. Louis whined, body drenched in sweat, already spreading his legs for Harry to kneel between them. “You look so hot like that,” Louis said. Harry cocked an eyebrow in question. “All covered in sweat, hot and hard, with me all over you.”

He saw the flash of fire cross Harry's face. He couldn’t resist pulling him in for a kiss, he didn’t care how gross and sloppy it might be. It was how they were. They simply belonged to each other. Their lips slid together, tongues tangling, passion overtaking them. 

“Now, Haz.” Louis twisted a handful of Harry’s hair. “Fuck me,” he whispered, breath hot and quiet.

Harry grinned, dimples and all, his green eyes glittering. “Okay. Whatever you say, Baby.” he whispered.

He knelt between Louis' legs, spreading them wide. He ripped open the condom and rolled it on, pumping a couple of times to try to get some relief. He leaned down and cupped Louis' chin to direct his gaze to meet his. "Last chance, love. Are you sure? Is this what you want?"

"I'm more than sure, Harry. I love you so much. I want you more than anything."

"I love you too, Baby." He leaned in to kiss him passionately. Then, foreheads together, Harry pushed Louis' thighs up under his own arms, braced himself on his elbows, and pushed in. 

Louis moaned into Harry’s mouth as Harry let out a low growl in return. Louis reached up and wrapped his arms around Harry's neck, whispering words of encouragement to him, urging him in further as he kept pulling out to just the very tip, then pushing back in a little at a time. The teasing was driving Louis insane. One hand slid down Harry's sweat slick back, trying to reach his bum and pulling him further into him. “Hazza, I need you. I’m good. Please. Move. All the way. I want to feel you all the way in me. Fast and hard, like always,” he begged.

Harry started to move faster, going deep, hitting the spot that he knew would make Louis keen with the noises that he loved to hear. He felt Louis grinding up against his cock, trying to get him even deeper. “Shit, Louis.” He leaned forward to kiss Louis sloppily again as his boy arched up against him. 

“Thought it would be more painful, it’s been so long. But Haz, you know me so well, know what I like, just how I like it. I’m yours, Harry. I love you.” He wrapped one arm around his back again as the other grabbed a handful of Harry’s hair and tugged. “Yeah, Babe, you like that don’t you? I still know you too, huh, Baby?”

They locked eyes, Harry moving faster, a set rhythm, Louis panting, breath hitching with each thrust. Harry’s breath was puffing out in a gasp as he pounded deep sitting back and bracing Louis’ legs up over his shoulders.

“Fuck, oh my God,” Louis screamed. They were both moving at a frantic pace now, not able to slow down, yet not wanting it to end. “Roll over,” Louis gasped. “Let me ride you.”

“Lou,” Harry whined.

“Now, Harold,” he demanded. Harry did as he was told and made a smooth roll not slipping out of Louis, and bringing them so that he was on his back. Louis started to move again, lowering down until Harry’s cock was buried deep inside of him. They both gasped for air at the same time, and Louis’s eyes fluttered closed.

“You alright?” Harry asked.

Louis nodded and whimpered a little, his eyes still closed. “So fucking good.” He bottomed out and adjusted to the feel of sitting on Harry’s dick, then began to slowly move.

“God, Lou, you’re so tight, feel so good.” Harry put a hand on Louis’s chest, fingers moving up to trace the letters of his tattoo running across his skin. He licked his fingers and slid them over to Louis’s nipple, rubbing it in circles until it hardened against his thumb. Then, Harry pinched it, and Louis let out another high pitched moan. 

“Fuck!” he cried, as he sat down all the way on Harry’s cock and hissed between his teeth in pleasure. 

“Oh my God, Lou, fuck,” Harry moaned. Louis could tell Harry was trying to not move, afraid of coming too soon, but he wanted him to thrust up into him.

He threw his arms around Harry’s neck and lifted himself up, lowering back down slowly, only moving in very slow circles, while leaning down and whispering to Harry, “fuck me, Babe, fuck me hard. Make me feel it. Move with me,” he said, touching his face to Harry’s, their noses brushing. He moved up, and Harry thrust into him slowly, both whimpering and moaning, building up the momentum to a frenzy again.

“Ya good, Lou?” Harry asked, running a hand through Louis’ hair.

“Yeah,” Lou stuttered, winding his hips up again. This time, though, when Harry thrust up, he hit Louis’ prostate, making Louis’ body vibrate eagerly.

“Right there. Right fucking there.” he cried. “Oh, fuck, Harry!” Suddenly, he moved his hips up and down quicker.

“Fuck Lou” Harry’s hands flew to Louis’ hips. Harry could feel Louis shaking. The shivers inside were bringing the heat in his lower belly so close to spilling over. 

It felt so fucking good for Lou now. Harry hitting him dead on his prostate, his perfect spot. Louis curved his spine and pushed back on Harry’s dick, swivelling his hips in wide circles. Harry’s hands grabbed a hold of Louis’ arse, holding on to the flexing muscles. He started fucking into Louis in time to Louis’ gyrations, The sounds of skin slapping and moans the only sounds in the room. Harry gave Louis’ bum a squeeze, his fingers deep into the skin as he opened him up more, fucking into him fast and hard as Louis just arched back, crying out his name in a chant. Then he leaned forward so that his own dick was getting friction from sliding between both of their sweat slicked bellies, sending him even closer to the edge. He gasped out Harry’s name again. Harry hissed, breathing loud and heavy as he began pounding up even harder into Louis. He hoped the neighbors couldn’t hear the sound of their heavy breathing, loud moans and screams, and the slapping of skin against skin as it echoed throughout the apartment. 

As he grabbed Louis’ arse again with bruising fingers, Louis gritted out, “You like that, yeah?” he asked. “Me bum? Missed it didn’t ya?”

“Fuck yeah, Lou,” Harry said, fucking up into him harder.

“Fuck it then,” Louis said. “fuck it. Harder. Fuck me arse, Harry, fuck me so hard, Love. Grab it and leave your mark on me. Oh fuck, oh God, Harry!” Louis was bringing out the most beautiful moans from Harry at levels he hadn’t even heard him sing. They were both revelling in the sensation of Louis clenching and tightening on Harry’s dick.

“Gonna come like that?” Harry asked him, breathless. “Untouched? Come just from me fucking you? Gonna come just for me, Lou? Only for me?”

Louis nodded, eyes closed, pushing back to a sitting position and holding onto Harry’s chest, digging in on the huge butterfly tattoo. “I’m so close, Harry, so...God, I’m close. So fuck….fucking close.:

“Come for me, Lou,” Harry said as he squeezed his arse cheeks with both hands, helping to push his body up and down. “Come all over me, Baby. Give it to me. I got you. Just give it to me.”

Suddenly, he hit Louis’s prostate one last time, fucking against it hard, almost sending Louis into a blackout. His orgasm hitting him hard and fast. Everything came to a high and Louis’s eyes snapped open, his mouth wide, dropped in pleasure. Euphoria, thick ribbons of white come shooting up Harry’s chest and onto his face, catching them both by surprise. He caught Harry’s eyes and stared deep into the brilliant emeralds. “Fuck, Harry,” he murmured as Harry continued to fuck him through his high, “You are so beautiful, so fucking beautiful. God, I love you!” They both let out a small laugh, unable to contain the joy. He leaned down and kissed Harry as he continued to thrust up into him, though without as much force.

“I love you,” Harry said softly his breath mingling in Louis’ mouth. “Love you so fucking much.” Louis’s cock was still throbbing against the bare skin of Harry’s stomach. It sent a rush of heat down his spine. Two more little spurts of pearly come hit Harry’s abdomen, right between the laurel tattoos that he always loved to bite. Breath ragged, he leaned down against Harry, still moving his hips in circular motions. 

“Turn back over, Haz.“ commanded Louis. “Want you to come in me.” He swept his hands down Harry’s chest as Harry once again rolled them so that Louis was on his back again. 

“You sure?” 

“Want to feel you,” he begged. Harry hitched Louis’ legs around his waist and leaned down, attaching their lips in a gentle kiss before beginning to fuck into him harder again.

“You feel so good, just like always. Always you. Oh, Lou, God.” His movements became more erratic as his hips stuttered and he moaned deeply. Louis, reached up and collected some of his own come from Harry’s chest and licked his fingers, then brought up another finger smeared with it, to Harry’s lips. Harry groaned loudly and fucked even faster into Louis.

“Come on, Love. Give it to me. I want to feel you come inside me.”

“Fuck, Louis, oh fuck, Baby...oh, I’m gonna, I’m gon..” He didn’t get to finish his sentence before his orgasm hit him. He spilled out inside of Louis. They could feel the hot come filling up the condom. He fucked into him a few more times, riding out his high. Then he slipped out out Louis, both hissing at the loss. 

Harry rolled to his side bringing a sleepy Louis with him and gently kissed him. “I really love you so much, Lou. This is how it should be, always. Always.” Louis murmured and curled up into Harry’s side.

“It really was incredible, Haz. Always is with us. I love you so much too. Never stopped.”

“I know. Let me go grab a wash rag to clean us up, then we can sleep.”

“Not now. I don’t mind the mess. Just want you close.” Harry smiled and wrapped his arms around his boy and held him tight. He could stay like this forever. He slid his hand down between them and rubbed Louis’ tummy. 

“Hope we didn’t bother you two too much, little ones. We just really needed to do that.” He wrapped both arms around Louis again and joined him in sleep.

 

******

When Harry woke up, he was alone. His heart started pounding. It was after midnight. Where could Louis be? He checked the bathroom. He wasn't there. He practically ran to the living room. There he sat, on the couch, legs tucked up under him, head resting on his knees. "Lou?"

"Harry. Sorry. Didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't, Baby. I woke up and you were gone."

"Sorry. Couldn't get back to sleep. Came out to make some tea."

"You alright?"

"Of course. Come here." Harry went over and tucked himself behind Louis, hugging him tight. Louis leaned back to kiss him. "Sleep well?"

"Perfectly. You?"

"Yeah. Can't lie that I'm a little sore now though," he giggled. "But in a good way."

"I was worried. No regrets then?

"Not a single one. Maybe makes things a little more complicated, but I don't regret a thing."

"It doesn't have to be complicated at all, Lou. This is something we both want, yeah?"

"Yeah. Just... Well, what does it change though? You're still married and we still have a lot of obstacles."

"Baby, I'm not going to be married for long. My attorney is already working on it. Shouldn't take long to finalize. She'll get the settlement she wants and be out of our lives for good. And I meant what I said about me going wherever you wanted. Ideally, I'd love for you to come to LA with me. But I know that's asking a lot. I will do whatever it takes to make things work with you."

"Yeah? You'd really want me there?"

"Of course, Lou. Was it even a question?"

"Well, you never really asked."

"Oh, Baby. I'd move you in right now If you'd go. I'd get a moving van here within the hour and we would have this place packed and ready to go. But your life is here and I don't want to rush you. You already said you were scared."

"I am. But I'm more scared of losing you. Harry I want this so bad. You, me, our little babies." Harry's hand trailed to Louis' stomach where he rubbed little circles. Now that he had permission to touch him, he always wanted to be touching his tummy, rubbing the spot where their two little ones were growing.

"It's what I want to. I want a family with you."

"What about the band?"

"That can all be figured out as we go. Remember that Liam and Niall want to come visit. We can discuss it then. Maybe start writing and see what we come up with. We don't have to commit to anything right now. The only thing I want to commit to right now is you and these babies. I love you, Lou. I meant that with everything in me."

Suddenly Emerald jumped up onto the couch, scaring Harry. Louis laughed. "Forgot about your namesake already, Curly? Scared of a tiny little ball of fur?"

"She's not the only tiny soft thing here. My boy is pretty small."

"'M not tiny."

"Ok. Well, not in all areas anyway..."

"Harold!"

"Just stating the truth," he said with a shrug. They both started laughing. "You hungry? Want me to run to the store?"

"I should probably go. People here know me. You may cause a ruckus."

"Heyyy. But if you want. Are you doing ok? I don't want you to feel like I'm badgering you. I just worry. You were so upset yesterday."

"I know. Thank you. I'm ok I think. After last night, I think I feel a better sense of calm. I'm not promising that I won't slip up. You know I tend to be dramatic. If I panic, I can't guarantee that the urge won't be there. But I have you by my side. Right?"

"Course, Baby. Always."

"Then I think I can handle a trip to the grocery. Now make me a list. I'm hungry. Oh, and I'm stopping at In n Out Burger. You want anything"

"Ugh. You are incorrigible! Our children can't live on junk food. But that's what they like, Harold! You gonna deny them before they even get here?"

"No Lou, of course not. Just get me a salad at the store. I'll make a list."

"I'll tell you everything I want you to make us."

"Lou, how long are we staying?" Harry laughed.

"Long enough for me to pack." He looked deeply into Harry's eyes. "That is, if the offer still stands."

Harry kissed him deeply. "Always. Want you by my side forever. Don't ever want to let you go again."

"Then don't."

******

The next two days consisted of Louis showing Harry around the town, packing up most of his stuff, turning in his notice to the school, and lots of blow jobs and hours of passionate love making. They decided to keep Louis' apartment for the time being for his furniture and heavier stuff, loading what they could in Harry's Range Rover. Of course, Harry didn't let Louis help, so it took awhile. 

Harry called Anne to let her know the turn of events and she couldn't be happier. She did warn Harry to be careful with Louis because he was still in a fragile place and he agreed. When Louis was in the shower, he also made a call to Dr. Jerome To make sure that having sex was safe for both Louis and the babies. He was assured that as long as it was comfortable for Louis it wasn't a problem. Just to make sure to call if he experienced any pain or discomfort. After getting the green light, he felt a lot better about doing the things they had been doing.

The ride home was a lot smoother, both of them relaxed and content in their relationship and where they stood with each other.

******

Anne was waiting for them when they arrived, along with Gemma, who had arrived to surprise them.

When they got out of the car, both women rushed to them. Gemma hugged Louis so hard then punched his arm. "It's been too long you twerp! Don't ever do that again! You understand? I couldn't even get anything out of Lottie. That's bad."

Louis bowed his head. "I'm so sorry, Gems. I promise I won't do it again."

"I know you won't," she said softly after getting a death stare from Harry. "Just missed you. We all did. Especially this guy." She nudged Harry.

"I missed him too."

They all went into the house and had dinner, then Anne and Gemma excused themselves to the guest house while Harry and Louis went up to relax. Harry had already had Paul take some of their things upstairs. "I hope you didn't mind me having him put everything in here. I hope this will be your room too, Lou."

"I'd like that. And I was wondering... Would it be alright if we maybe started doing some writing? Like we used to?"

"I'd really like that, Baby. Do you have anything in mind?"

"I do have some stuff in my journal that I'd like you to look at." He pulled out a worn notebook and handed it to Harry. 

Harry looked through it for a long time as Louis sat biting his lip. After quite some time, his eyes grew big, "Lou, this stuff is great! I.. I don't know what to say. Can you play some of it for me? There's a piano downstairs or the keyboard in my studio down the hall."

"Could we maybe do it tomorrow? I just wanted your opinion. I'm feeling pretty tired. We've been sitting here over an hour."

"Oh my God. Shit, I'm so sorry. Why didn't you tell me? It is just all really good. Of course it can wait. How about a back rub?"

"That sounds really nice."

"You want a bubble bath first?"

"Will you take it with me?"

"Course, Baby. Let me just go get it ready."

As Louis joined Harry in the ensuite, there were candles lit, some soft music playing on the sound system, and the big jacuzzi tub was filled with bubbles. Harry helped Louis in, then settled in behind him. "This is nice. Thank you."

"Anything for you, Lou. How are you feeling?"

"I'm ok. Was just tired. It's been a long day." As he answered, Harry wrapped his arms around him and kissed his neck, whispering in his ear how much he loved him. He rubbed his shoulders, kneaded down his spine, until he could feel the tension start to drain from Louis' body. He lathered up a rag and gently washed his body, letting his hands lovingly linger over Louis' little tummy.

"I love you so much, Lou."

"Love you too, Haz."

"Ready to get out?" When Louis nodded, Harry helped him out and dried him off with a fluffy towel and led him to their bed. "I have some nice almond oil. Why don't you lie down and I'll rub your back?"

Louis felt like he was in heaven as Harry's hands worked their magic. "Feels so good, Harry." As Harry worked his way down Louis’ body, giving him little kisses down his spine, Louis could feel his cock springing to life. "Uh, Harry?"

"Yes, Baby?"

"Umm.. could you maybe massage my front too?" he asked with a grin.

"You little minx, Mr. Tomlinson. Is someone feeling frisky? I thought you were tired?"

"I thought so too. But lately, my body has been sending kind of mixed messages. The pregnancy book I've been reading says it's normal to have an increased sex drive, but I thought it was just that you and I were just having sex at all and it's been so long for me. But, God, Harry. I want you all the time!"

"It's ok Baby. I've got you. I'm going to take good care of you." He turned Louis over to find that he was already hard. Harry got himself comfortable on the bed beside Louis and gently kissed him. Before he had a chance to do much more than press their lips together, Louis was opening up to him, attacking Harry's mouth with his tongue. As they kissed fervently, Harry's hand traveled down Louis chest to one of his nipples, gently pinching and tugging, eliciting and high pitched moan from his boy. 

"Oh...feels so good, Haz. So sensitive. Want to feel you."

"Tell me what you need, Baby," encouraged Harry. "What do you want?"

"Your mouth.. Please.. God, want your mouth, Haz..."

"Like this?" Harry asked as he replaced his fingers on Louis' nipple with his mouth, sucking, biting, scraping his teeth over the sensitive little nub. Louis arched his back as nodded. As Harry worked one nipple with hugs mouth, he rolled the other between his fingers, trailing his other hand over Louis' chest and abdomen, stopping short of touching his cock. Louis arched his back, pushing his chest hard into Harry's mouth. 

Harry gave the nipple one final little nip, then kissed down Louis' stomach, tongue drawing circles around his belly button as his hand started palming Louis' cock. He moaned at the contact. "Harry.. Feels so good."

"It does? How about this?" He asked as he licked a stripe up the underside of Louis' cock with the flat of his tongue. Hearing Louis' grunts of encouragement, Harry tongued around the head, before sucking the whole thing down his throat.

"God, Harry! Fuck!" He could feel his dick hitting the back of Harry's throat. 

As he started bobbing his head up and down on Louis' cock, he used both hands to hold his hips down to the mattress. Louis grabbed the sheets in his fists and was trying to thrash around, but Harry held him firm as he continued to suck him down into his throat. 

After a few minutes, Harry placed one palm firmly over one of Louis' hips to keep him still, while he spread his legs with the other. As he kept sucking, he dribbled some spit onto his fingers and slowly circled one around Louis' tight pink hole. The sensation of that alone had Louis panting out Harry's name, but Harry wasn't through yet. He gently pushed the tip into his hole and made little circles with it. Louis' hands went straight to Harry's hair and he grabbed two fistfulls and gave a little yank. As Harry moaned, the vibrations moved from Louis' cock to the pit of his belly where he could feel his orgasm building already.

Harry pulled his finger out to add some more spit, then pushed out all the way in, crooking it just enough to hit Louis' prostate. With a cry, he was coming down Harry's throat, panting out a chant of his name.

Harry milked him through it, looking up at his beautiful boy with a smile on his face. After he had come back down, Harry went to get a rag to wipe him off, then he snuggled up beside him. When Louis reached for Harry's still hard cock, Harry swatted his hand away. "It's ok. This was for you. I want you to feel good. I know you're tired."

"But, Haz."

"I will be ok. It will work itself out eventually," he smiled.

Louis smirked at him. "Well...you could give it a hand in that while I watch.. that's something we never got around to doing before. Always too busy with each other to do it ourselves."

"So.. So you want to watch me get myself off?"

"Yeah. Think it'd be quite hot, actually." Harry's dick twitched at the idea and Louis noticed with a raised eyebrow and another smirk. Harry couldn't help but let his hands run up and down his torso as he laid there beside Louis, just thinking about it. "Come on, Hazza. For me? Please?" Louis pouted. He leaned over to kiss Harry, taking his bottom lip between his teeth and pulling it. "I promise I'll return the favor sometime soon." He smiled.

Harry couldn't say no to him. And as turned on as he was, he really didn't want to. The Idea of touching himself while Louis watched was pretty hot. 

 

"Up on your knees," commanded Louis and Harry quickly kneeled in front of him. "Now touch yourself like you do when I'm not here, when you're thinking of me."

Harry's hands ran up and down his body, over his chest, pinching his nipples, and hissing out Louis' name. At his murmurs of approval, Harry's hands traveled furthered until one reached his cock. He was already hard and it was bouncing in front of him. He wrapped two fingers around the base and slid them up to the head, collecting some of the pre-cum already collecting there. He knew this wouldn't take long. "I'm not gonna last long," he told Louis.

"It's ok, Babe, just make it feel good." He watched as Harry's hand used the collected wetness to slowly work his cock back and forth, telling Louis that he wished it was it was him that he was sliding in and out of. While one hand was stroking his dick faster, the other went back to his nipple telling Louis how bad he wanted his mouth there, biting it, licking, sucking it. He threw his head back and told Louis that he wanted to be fucking him, having him bent over his piano, pounding into him like they used to, knowing anyone could walk in at any time and catch them. How he loved the little noises Lou made when he was about to come and how tight he was around Harry's cock. 

"Oh God, Lou. I'm about to come, I'm gonna come. Feels so good. Wish it was inside you."

"Show me Baby. Come for me. Let me see it." With those words, Harry shot hot strings of thick white come, spilling over his fist and shooting up his chest. "Babe, that was so hot," Louis whispered, his own dick starting to fatten up again. He pulled Harry down to him and kissed him hard. As they lay side by side, Louis licked the come off Harry's chest. Harry groaned and pulled him back to him in a dirty kiss, tasting himself on Louis' tongue.

He pulled away. "Now stop and let me clean up before we both start something we'll regret. You're too tired and I don't think I can get it up again yet."

"Wanna bet?" asked Louis.

"No!" exclaimed Harry. "Sleep!"

With a huff, Louis rolled back and let Harry get up to clean himself off. He crawled back in the bed and they pulled the covers over them. Harry pulled Louis to him. "You know, I'm used to being the one you hold at night."

"Yeah, and I'm the one carrying our children and they need their father's hands caressing them to sleep."

Harry laughed. "I know. Anything for my little family. I love you, Lou." He leaned forward to kiss Louis' cheek.

"I love you too, Haz." They fell asleep quickly and didn't move until morning.

******

Gemma visited long enough that both she and Anne could accompany Harry and Louis to the next doctor visit. Louis was now 14 weeks. They were to stay in the visitors lounge until the ultrasound. 

Dr. Jerome welcomed them. "Louis, you look great. Showing a little more now, which is great. How's your back?"

"Just now starting to bother me recently. But I'm still getting tired a lot," he grumbled.

"That's normal, especially with twins. You need to be taking it easy. Don't overdo it. Any other problems?"

"Well, I wouldn't say it's a problem, but, well, it's kind of embarrassing."

"Nothing I haven't heard before, I'm sure."

"Two things, actually. First is the gas. It's horrible. I thought it would go away, but it seems worse. Driving me nuts."

"Normal, also. How's your appetite?"

"Ugh, don't ask!"

That got a giggle from both Harry and the doctor. "Wanting everything in sight."

"And mostly junk food cravings," Harry added, rolling his eyes.

"Again, normal. But you do need to watch what you eat. Try to keep it as healthy as possible. I know it's hard with the cravings. What's the other issue?"

"Well, um... well, my sex drive is pretty high. I seem to be wanting it quite a lot."

Harry couldn't help it, He burst out laughing this time, earning a punch from Louis.

"Many pregnant people experience this. It's quite normal and quite healthy as long as you are careful. No acrobatics," he smiled. Louis looked at Harry, who smiled at him.

"Good to know," they both chorused.

"Ok. Up on the scale. Hmm. Ok. It's pretty good. You could stand to gain a few more pounds but I'm proud of you. Has everything been going alright?"

"Yes. I've had a few instances of wanting to...you know, make meself sick, but Harry's always been there. I haven't. But I've not eaten for the rest of the day after that." Harry grabbed his hand.

"I've made sure in those days that he has had plenty of water to drink and tried to get at least some fruit or crackers in him. Sometimes it works other times it doesn't."

"You just have to remember that it's not just you, Louis, but the babies need to eat too. They only get food when you do. A day here and there is alright. I'm proud of you. Just keep working on it, ok? And I'm very proud of both of you for working this out. I think it's great. You both seem happier."

"We are, Dr. Jerome."

 

Ok. Let's get some measurements." He pulled out his tape and wrapped it snugly around Louis' stomach. "Looks good. You are right on the mark for 13 to 14 weeks which is good for your size."

Again Louis huffed. "'m not small."

"You are small boned, which means you will probably have small babies. If they get very big, we will need to move the delivery date up."

"But isn't that dangerous for the babies?"

"It should be alright as long as they are past the 24 week mark. But ideally we need to keep them in as long as possible, at least until week 30 to 36. Sometimes it's just not possible. But we will discuss that as the time gets closer. For now, are you ready to see your little ones?"

"Course. And my mum and sister are here. Could they please join us?"

"Certainly. Why don't you go get them while Louis gets ready?"

By the time Harry returned with Anne and Gemma, Louis was on the table with his belly exposed.

"Ok, Mr. Tomlinson, you know the drill, the tech said, as they all watched, Dr. Jerome sitting off to the side watching carefully. She began with measurements of the closest twin, humming as she went, clicking notes on the screen and taking screen shots. Dr. Jerome pointed out that there were two separate sacs as he had thought, meaning the twins were fraternal, not identical. 

"That means it could be one of each or both of each gender right?" asked Louis.

"Correct." Anne and Gemma were both tearing up throughout the process, so happy to now see that both twins were healthy no matter the gender. "Now, we can probably determine the gender if they cooperate within a few weeks if you two would like to know. It's completely up to you."

They looked at each other. They had discussed this a little, but made no decisions. "We'll let you know," said Harry.

"Fair enough. For now, I see nothing wrong. Both look healthy and strong. Good heartbeats. I'm sure you want to hear?"

"Oh yes," answered Anne. They all laughed. When the volume was turned up, two strong heartbeats filled the room. Louis immediately burst into tears. "What's wrong, Love," asked Anne?

"Just emotional. Those are our babies. They are alive and they are going to be here soon. I can't wait to meet them. I'm so excited." This was the first time he had really said that, which made Harry cry also. He leaned down and kissed him.

"Ok, I'll print off the pictures for you both."

"Could you please get one for my mum and sister too," Harry asked?"

"And one I can send my sister?" Louis added.

"Of course. Go ahead and get dressed and I'll be back in. Everyone left except Louis and Harry. They kissed again, then Harry helped Louis sit up and adjust his clothes. 

"I love you, Lou. And I love you too, little ones," he added, leaning down to kiss Louis' tummy.

"Oh Haz. Did you see them? They are so beautiful!"

"Yes they are, just like you."

******

After the appointment and getting lunch, they took Anne and Gemma to the airport. She had decided it was time to go home until they needed her again.

When it was just the two of them at home again, Louis suggested that they start making some decisions about getting the house ready for the babies. They started by trying to figure out the nursery. It was connected to the master on the opposite side of the room from the ensuite. It was a smaller room, but plenty big enough for the a nice sized nursery. They decided to go shopping soon and pick out the furniture to have it delivered, then to ask Niall and Liam and their families to come have a party to help decorate. They figured out the main layout, where they would put the two cribs, changing table, rocking chair, and cabinets for clothes and other things. 

What they couldn't agree on was a color. They wanted gender neutral, but that was all they could agree on. Harry wanted yellows and tans with a jungle theme. Louis, different shades of greens and gray with an ocean theme.

"Hey, have I told you how you glad I am that we are doing this together? I thought I was going to be doing it alone, and I definitely didn't want to do it with Emily. This is what I always wanted with you, Lou. I love you so much. It may not be how we used to imagine it happening, but I'm glad you ended up being the surrogate."

Louis was crying by then, thanks in part to his hormones and the rest to his love for Harry. "Love, I know it's not how we imagined, but we are here. These are our babies and I'm so glad I'm here with you too. Harry, thank you for wanting to still share this with me after what I did. I gave up my right to have a future with you, yet you are still letting me back in. How can you forgive me?"

"Baby, it's not a matter of forgiving you. I mean, I do forgive you for the past, but my future just isn't right without you in it. It never was. We are together because this is where we are supposed to be. In my opinion, it's the only option. I tried to go on with my life. Yeah, I had success professionally. It's because I put my everything into it so I didn't have to think about what was lacking in my personal life. You. You were missing. There is no substitute. No matter who I ended up with, it wasn't going to work simply because it wasn't you."

"I tried too, Haz. I dated some, but every time I closed my eyes, the only thing I saw was you. It killed me to see you with other people, but I couldn't tear my eyes away. All I wanted was you. There's been no one else, in my heart Harry, there's no room for anyone else. I did date, but I've never given my heart to anyone other than you."

"Oh Lou. It was only Emily for me. And even then, I knew deep down that something wasn't right. I know the tabloids had me hooking up with everyone on legs who I was within a mile of, but the only real relationship I had was with Emily. Even then, she thought there was something wrong with me. Then she figured it out. She knew you were it for me. That's when she basically started hating me. She knew if I left her she could make my life hell in the press. So we came to a compromise with the baby. I got my child and she got her acting career. Maybe eventually we would get divorced once she had a good start on her career. Until then, we would just have a peaceful existence. I didn't realize Paul and rest of the staff had my back."

"What do you mean?"

"Once she verbally attacked you, Paul told me that he and the staff had been gathering evidence on her, her sleeping around, probably since she wasn't getting any from me, her financial indiscretions by spending money and hiding it from me, opening up secret bank accounts, everything they could. They were willing to take go to court for me so she couldn't get a dime if she so much as opened her mouth about anything. That's how our divorce is going through so quickly now. She gets her house, her car, her things, and a settlement. That's it. Last I heard, even the agent I had recommended, who was doing it as a favor to me, dropped her when she found out about the divorce. She's on her own. She put herself there. But none of this matters. We are way off topic. What matters is that I haven't been with her in over a year. I just needed you, Lou. I need you."

"Then it's a good thing I'm here, Curly. God, you really need to grow your hair back out. You know how hard it is to keep calling you that when your hair is like this! Not fair, ya know. It's beautiful any way you have it. And these short waves are gorgeous. But I really missed grabbing on to those long curls!"

Harry grabbed him and pulled him close. "I'll grow it however you like it. As long as you're mine, I don't care about my hair or anything else. Just you. Got it?"

"Got it." He laughed. "So, since you don't care about anything else, that means I can choose the color theme for the nursery?"

"Ugh. No, Lou. You do need to share some things. Our children being some of them."

Louis just pouted. "Well, you can't blame me for trying."

"No, love. No I can't," he laughed.

******

The days seemed to fly by. Before long, it was almost time for Louis’ 20 week appointment. They had declined to know the gender at the last appointment. Louis was gaining weight, though he was still having his moments of both pregnancy nausea and making himself sick. He usually did the latter when Harry wasn't around, but felt so guilty and confessed as soon as he saw him. They usually talked it out and cried together until they both felt reassured and Louis felt a sense of calm. He was wearing his rubber band bad whenever Harry saw him fidgeting with it, he stopped what he was doing immediately so that they could talk. 

Their sex life was going strong. Louis’ belly had started to get big enough that it was too uncomfortable for him to be on his back, so they had become creative. Before he grew too big, they had fulfilled two things they had discussed. Harry had fucked him bent over the piano in his living room, making it exciting to know that a staff member could walk in at any time. They had always loved the idea of the possibility of getting caught and took chances from the beginning.

The second thing was something that Harry couldn't wait to do again after the twins were born. Louis had got himself off as Harry watched. Harry sat, leaning against the headboard, legs spread, completely naked, as Louis kneeled naked between his legs. His small hands roamed over his body, pinching his overly sensitive nipples and running the other hand up and down his torso, teasing his cock some. He finally grabbed hold of his hard cock and began stroking it, swiping his thumb over the sensitive head to collect the pre-cum to help his hand glide easier. As he stroked himself faster with his one hand, he used the other to gather more leaking fluid and turned some to start fingering his hole. Harry was so hard and reached for his own dick but was immediately stopped by a loud, “Do not touch,” from Louis. 

He continued to stroke his cock and fuck himself on his fingers until he cried out and shot long ribbons of come onto Harry's chest and open mouth. He immediately turned around onto his hands and knees and begged Harry to fuck him, which he complied with immediately. It only took a few strokes for Harry to pull out and shoot his load over Louis’ back.

The men had enjoyed a very active and creative sex life, especially considering Louis’ high sexual appetite. Since he had been tested before being inseminated, he demanded that Harry be tested As soon as they returned home from Nevada so that they didn't need condoms. And as Louis’ stomach grew, he rode Harry more or they settled for Louis getting on his knees or leaning his hands against something while standing. There were also a lot of hand jobs and blow jobs because Louis was so exhausted but also in need of an orgasm. He was wearing Harry out sexually at times, but Harry could never deny his boy, doing his best to make sure he was happy at all times.

On the day of the appointment, the plan was to find out the gender, then meet up with Niall and Liam to celebrate. They had all been together a few times to catch up and to have some writing and planning sessions. 

They decided to put a reunion album out within a year after the twins birth, then a tour to follow about six months after that. Niall and Amy were so solid in their relationship, so all the families would be joining in on the tour. Louis thought it would be incredible to have Liam, Sophia and their kids along with Niall and Amy; Lou and her kids with her new husband; Lottie and Tommy had agreed to join and even bring Ernie and Dory along for part of it; Fizzy had accepted the position they offered her as their clothing coordinator; Paul, Mark, and Preston had agreed to return along with Sarah. Louis was quite excited. He couldn't wait to celebrate to the boys. They could talk about the babies, decide on the nursery, finalize some of the band’s business, and eat. 

******

Dr. Jerome greeted them like old friends. He was happy with Louis’ weight and measurements. “Let's get some bloodwork first, then we will do the scan while we are waiting.” The blood was drawn and then the doctor asked Louis to get on the scale. Your weight is still going up, though not as much as it should be. How see you eating?”

“Like a pig really. I'm trying to do better with the healthy foods too. Harry is cooking a lot. He's following the diet you gave us.”

Harry nodded. “He has been having more headaches lately, so he hasn't been as hungry, but I've made sure what he eats is mostly healthy. We still have the chicken nuggets and milkshakes a lot, but not as much. He's graduated to blueberries, which is a good thing, yeah?”

“Much, much better,” the doctor laughed. “Now, tell me about these headaches, Louis.”

“Well, I've had some on and off the past couple months, just little ones. But this past week and a half or so, it's been more like migraines. I've had to go lay down. Just guessing it's me hormones or something.”

“Ok. How have you been feeling otherwise?”

“Just tired. But that hasn't gone away the entire time. Bathroom a lot. Normal stuff.”

“Any movement yet?”

“I'm not sure. I don't think so. But I had some weird gas bubbles yesterday that were on and off and just different, more fluttery. I didn't think about it until later, but maybe that was them?”

“Very well could have been. You should feel them stronger here in the next week. With twins, it isn't much longer until others can feel them, so Harry, you should feel them soon also.”

“That's something we've really been looking forward to.”

“Ok. Everything sounds pretty good, though the headaches concern me some. Hold on a minute and let me run down to the lab. I want to see if they have enough blood for another test.”

“Is everything ok?” Harry asked, grabbing Louis’ hand.

“Oh, I'm sure it's nothing, but it never hurts to check every possibility. Be right back.”

“Baby, I'm worried,” said Louis with tears in his eyes.

“You heard him, Lou, ours just precautionary. It's fine.”

Dr. Jerome came back in. “Ok. You already did your regular urine test, right?” Louis nodded. “The we're all set.” The tech came in and turned the screen on and got the gel out while Harry helped Louis get comfortable on the table. “Now, this scan will take the longest because it's where we examine each twin in detail, their organs and limbs and bone structure. If you get a cramp or uncomfortable, let us know and we will reposition you a bit, ok?”

“Ok. But it's normal, right?”

“Of course. Something we do with every pregnancy. Twins just take longer. And in case you didn't realize it, you are halfway there. You're doing great, Louis. Now let's look at these babies.”

As soon as the babies came onto the screen, Harry and Louis joined hands. They looked at the little ones moving around and were amazed. They noticed every little line and measurement the tech was making and what Dr. Jerome was noting. “So, have you decided on finding out the gender?”

“We want to know. It will help to make things easier to plan,” explained Harry.

“And to pick names,” added Louis.

“Ok, So this one here, they drew a circle around the first twin, see this right here?” 

“Is that?” Harry asked, and the doctor and tech both laughed.

“Yep, it's a boy.” Louis and Harry both cried.

“It's a boy, Haz. We're having a son,” cried Louis.

“Wow. A baby boy. I hope he looks just like you. But acts like me of course,” was the reply from Harry. Everyone laughed at that. “What about the other one?”

“Well, let's take a look. Hmmm. Yep. See here?” They drew another circle around the second baby. That tech used the clicker to point out the genital area. “Definitely a girl.”

“A little girl. Oh, I hope she has your curls, Harry. Your eyes too. I know they will both be beautiful,” said Louis with tears streaming down his face, gripping Harry’s hand even tighter. “One of each, Haz. Our little babies.”

“Yeah, Lou. Our little beautiful babies. And they're healthy, Dr. Jerome?”

“We still have some examining to do, but it looks like it. Their measurements are right on track. So far the organs look great. Everything is developing fine. We just need to measure the placentas and fluid surrounding each baby and take a closer look at the umbilical cords. Let's get back to work.”

After a while, Dr. Jerome excused himself to go get Louis’ test results. “Do you want me to get up now?”

“Not quite yet. I want to check something first. I'm going to have a nurse check your blood pressure while I'm gone. She'll do it while you're lying down so you don't need to get up yet. Just relax and I'll be right back.”

As he said a nurse came in almost immediately and took Louis’ blood pressure. She took it twice in each arm lying down, then had him sit up and took it again. Harry and Louis kept looking at each other with worry on their faces. Louis was asked to lie back down and the tech did a few more measurements. When Dr. Jerome returned, he had Louis’ file and sat down with the ultrasound wand. “Ok. Here’s what we have, gentlemen. See here, the babies are doing great, you can see them moving and they are developing right on schedule. See this right here? It's the placenta with the amniotic fluid surrounding each baby. And this here is your uterus wall, Louis. Measuring between the lining of your uterus and each baby, there isn't as much fluid as we like.” Harry and Louis both sucked in sharp breaths. The doctor continued, “Now, don't get too worried, we are still early here. I am concerned about a few things though. Your bloodwork shows an abnormal amount of platelets in your blood and you are showing protein in your urine. Each of the blood pressure readings that were just taken were high, which match the previous few months. I had attributed that to the amount of stress you were under. The headaches intensifying give me another symptom. Louis, you have preeclampsia. It can be a very dangerous condition, but it can be treated.”

By now, both men were in tears. Louis remembers the horror stories from his mums days of nursing. “What do we do?”

“First, I'm putting you on bedrest. Stay in bed. You can go to the bathroom, shower, sit in the living room quietly, eat in the kitchen every now and then. But for the most part, stay in bed on your left side. Cut out salt from your diet. And I'm prescribing a blood pressure medication that's safe for you and the babies. I will see you here every week until delivery. If it gets much worse after week 24, we will consider an early delivery. Not only is this dangerous for the babies, it can be very dangerous for you.”

“How dangerous?” asked Harry.

“I could die, couldn't I? I know some of the women me mum treated died.”

“Very rare cases, yes. But a remote possibility. But we aren't going to let it get to that. You are going to follow these instructions and you'll be fine. Ok? Now. I suggest you get yourself back together and get home to bed. Ok? I'll see you next week.”

“Doctor? Are the babies going to be alright?”

“Yes, Louis, you all are.”

******

 

Harry made a quick call to Niall and Liam to let them know the change of plans. He invited them over to the house one day soon, but for now, he wanted to get Louis home and settled in. Louis was unusually quiet the entire ride, playing with his wrist, snapping the rubber band occasionally. “Lou?” He didn't answer. “Lou, Baby. What’s going on in your head? I know this is a lot to process, I'm scared too. But we can get through this together, ok? I'm right here, Baby.”

Louis nodded but kept messing with the band. When they got home, Harry asked him if he thought it would be a good idea for them to move to the bedroom downstairs. It was almost as big and nice as the one upstairs. “Whatever,” Louis shrugged. He went up to their room and flopped down on the bed. 

“Lou,” murmured Harry as he curled up behind him and rubbed his tummy. “Come on, Baby. You gotta talk to me. I know it's scary. But you're all going to be ok. I promise.”

“Don't promise something you can't keep, Harry. You have no way to know that.”

“But I know you. You're strong. These little ones are strong. You are going to do what the doctor said and it's going to be ok. Our son and daughter are going to be fighters, little menaces just like their daddy. I know it. Please believe me, ok?”

“I'll try Harry. I want to make myself sick so bad right now and I know it will make it even worse if I do, so I'm doing my best to keep calm. But it's so hard. Please help me, Hazza.”

“What can I do, Baby? Do you wanna write something? Go over something you've already written? Wanna watch a movie? I can read to you. I can just hold you and rub your tummy. What do you need from me. I'm here, Lou.” Harry leaned forward and kissed Louis’ cheek.

“Can we maybe eat and you can just talk to me? Tell me a story? Can you bring me Emerald?”

“Course. What do you want to eat? I can make whatever you want and make it healthy.”

“Fajitas?”

“Course. Let me go find her. Then I'll make the fajitas and bring them up too. Ok?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you going to be ok?”

“Yes, Harry, I won't make myself sick and hurt our children,” He snapped.

“Lou, please don't be mad. I'm just trying to help. I want you to be ok. Not just the babies. I love you, yeah?”

“I know. Sorry I snapped.” 

“Oh look, looks like our little fluff ball came to find you herself. Here,” Harry picked Emerald up from the floor and handed her to Louis. “Now cuddle her while I fix the food, ok?”

Harry left Louis and Emerald on the bed and went to fix the best fajitas he's ever made.

******

After they ate, Louis snuggled into Harry's side as Harry talked softly and ran one hand through his hair and the other in little circles over his stomach. Harry murmured how much he loved Louis. Told him stories of their love and their adventures. Reminded him of their time on X-Factor and all of the things they got up to when no one was around, how in love they already were; Wellington, where they let loose after drinking and almost got caught; how they bucked against management at times by not exactly breaking the rules, but bending them enough to let them know that they weren't giving up; and most of all, how they gave the fans just enough to show them that they were indeed in love and that no one could stop that or take it away. 

Louis laughed, then and said that he remembered reading after Harry got married, that it was just another stunt and that they were still secretly together. Harry read that also and said that he had wanted it to be true, even after what they had gone through.

They both held each other and kissed and declared how glad were that they found each other again. Louis laughed then and said that he could only imagine some of the fans’ reactions when they see Harry and him together. Harry joined in and said that he couldn't wait to show him off to the world and let everyone know he was his. 

The conversation turned serious as they discussed how they planned to keep their children out of the public eye as much as possible. Harry said it shouldn't be too hard. “I've learned to keep much of my life private, my family has always been the biggest part of that. This will be no different.”

“And I managed to live for years without being noticed. We can do this.”

“Yes, we can, Baby. Now, we have two more very important things to discuss.”

Louis tensed up, ready for Harry's lecture. “What Harry?”

“Well, three really. Two names and a nursery theme!”

“Louis laughed. I guess we do. So.. Do you have any ideas? I do have one in mind for our daughter, but I'm not sure what you'd think.”

“Lou, I'm sure I'll love anything you choose. Tell me.”

“Well, like, your name is Harry and not Harold. Mine is pronounced with the i-e and not like Lewis. We seem to go by nicknames as real names, yeah?” When Harry nodded, Louis continued. “So I was thinking that we could honor both of our mums, but with kind of different names at the same time.”

“Like what, Babe?”

“Annie Jo?”

“I love it! Lou, it's beautiful! That's it, definitely. Now we need our son’s name. I didn't really like rhyming or that same letter stuff for twins. I love how your mum did it, and their names ended up just sort of fitting them, matching their personalities. And since Annie is technically after Gemma also, and Lots is your oldest sister, how about Charlie? I'm sure we will have more kids to get the rest of them somehow,” he laughed.

“I know you've always liked Jax. How about Charlie Jax?”

“Perfect! See, my boy is a genius! And since you chose most of the names, I get to choose the nursery, right?”

“On, Harry, you're incorrigible! But I guess it's only fair.”

“Ok, how's this; a mixture of teals, browns and white so it's both of our choices, with an ocean theme, because when you suggested it, I really did like it.”

“Really?”

“Really.” 

“And how about we pick everything out online, then I get everyone here to decorate, you can direct from a rocking chair in the doorway except when the painting is going on, then after it's all done, we move our room to the one downstairs until the babies come to make it easier for you. The you can actually come to the couch sometimes and eat at the table. Deal?”

“Sounds like a plan. Now I have another question.” As Harry listened intently, Louis continued. “What should our babies last names be?”

“Well, this is something I've been wanting to discuss with you. My divorce should be final next month. The babies should be here in February.” Then all of a sudden Louis could see the wheels turning in Harry's mind. “That leaves three months between my divorce and the babies. I figure if we wait another six months so the babies aren't quite newborns and can be fairly easily managed, that would make it August, which also make it nine months since the divorce. So I guess this isn't the most romantic way of asking, but Louis, will you marry me? I love you, I love our children already, all of you more each day. I love our little family. We planned this for years already. We just got a little side tracked. But will you? Next August? Will you marry me a year from now?”

“God yes, Harry! You're right. We have planned this. I've wanted nothing more. A family with you is the only thing I've dreamed of for as long as I can remember. Yes, Harry. Yes I will!”

They were both laughing and crying; kissing and holding each other. “You do realize that as soon as these babies are here and you are able, we are having engagement sex right?” Harry asked.

“Oh, Hazza, we will be having all kinds of sex, don't you worry!” And they both smiled and kissed again.

******

The next week, after all the nursery stuff had arrived and Harry was about to head out to the paint store when Louis suddenly grabbed his stomach. “Lou, what's wrong?” Harry gasped, running to Louis’ side. “Not wong,” he laughed. “Here.” He took Harry's hand and placed out on the side of his stomach. 

“Is that…?” Harry trailed off.

“It is. No doubt about it this time. Do you feel them? They must have switched positions because they sure are moving like crazy now.”

Harry laughed and kissed Louis tummy. “Hi little ones. It's your daddy here. I'm sure glad you're doing ok. Your other daddy and I are really excited about you and we already love you so much! Just be good and stay in there and grow stronger for a little while longer, yeah?” Then Harry kissed Louis long and deep. “I love you so much, Baby. Thank you for doing this. For bringing us these beautiful babies. We are going to have such a great life,”

“I know, Haz. And I love you too. And our little ones. Now will you help me go wee before you go to the paint store? I think they moved straight to my bladder,” he rolled his eyes. Harry just laughed and helped him to the bathroom before he made his way to the store with his iPad to make sure the colors matched exactly to the ones he and Louis had picked out. 

Niall and Amy, along with Liam and Sophia arrived with black bean burritos, rice, no salt chips and Amy's homemade salsa with no added salt. They all sat in the guest room at a table Harry had sat up. After dinner, they decorated the room that Harry had asked Paul and his family to paint while he took Louis to his doctor appointment two days before. The Higgins family had loved being a part of getting ready for the little Tomlinson-Styles babies. The room was beautiful. Each wall a slightly different shade as the crew today would be applying the borders and wall decals before arranging the furniture. The decals were of various ocean animals swimming in the sea with white capped waves in a line around the walls under fluffy clouds, sand on the bottom by the floor, and even whales and dolphins breaching the surface. It was breathtaking.

The get together was also a triple celebration in a way. Louis’ appointment two days prior had gone well, no signs of distress, nothing getting worse, his blood pressure was even down some. Second; Anne, Gemma and her family; and Lottie and Tommy would be arriving tomorrow. Anne would be staying for the duration of the pregnancy and the first week or so. The others were staying at least a week, then Louis other sisters would also be visiting off and on. And finally, finally Niall and Amy had set a wedding date. It was June, so the group of friends would have a lot of planning and a very busy few months.

While they were all eating and decorating, Harry, Louis, Niall and Liam made plans to start writing sessions at the house next week in order to get some rough drafts together of new music for the band’s reunion album. They all agreed that it should be a combination of their solo tastes with a little of their old style mixed in. “Louis already has quite a few ideas,” Harry boasted proudly. “I've read them and they are good.”

“That's great, Lou. I have some stuff that I never got around to using solo, I'm sure we all do. We should be able to come up with some pretty sick stuff together,” said Niall. “I can't wait. This is going to be great!”

The day and evening passed quickly with everyone taking turns feeling the babies move. Louis had to excuse himself and go to bed a couple hours before the others left because he was exhausted. Sophia walked him to his room and sat with him for awhile. “You know, Lou, I had some complications with my first pregnancy and was on bedrest. It sucks. And it's scary. But just know that I'm here if you ever want to talk. We used to be pretty close ya know,” she smiled. 

“Thank you, Soph. I appreciate that.”

“Now get some sleep. I can tell how tired you are. We will all be back soon.”

******

 

The next month passed without incident. Harry and Louis were settled into the room downstairs, with Louis staying in bed more and more as the twins seemed to be growing very quickly and they were moving almost constantly. It was hard for him to get much rest. He had become so tired and uncomfortable. Gemma, Lottie and their families had stayed for two weeks, needing to get home for the holidays. Louis had loved having them sitting on the bed with him, catching up and reminiscing. His favorite part was planning for the future. Both sisters had promised to visit as much as possible and to join the band on the tour when they could. Louis and Harry had also promised to bring the babies to England for a visit as soon as they were old enough. Both had cried when they learned what the twins’ names would be. 

Louis’ health was remaining stable and the doctor was optimistic about the babies making it at least another month, possibly longer. A month would put him right around 30 weeks. Longer would be better, but the doctor said 30 weeks wouldn't be devastating. He warned the men that even if the babies were just a few weeks early, they will be staying in the NICU at the hospital, so they need to be prepared for that. He did give Louis a steroid shot to help the babies’ lungs to develop so that they would have a better chance of breathing on their own faster if he did deliver early. He decided to give him another two shots, one at each of his next two appointments. Louis and Harry agreed that this made them feel better.

They decided that Louis would deliver at Cedars-Sinai instead of Los Robles because of the better NICU. The hospital would be as accommodating as possible, but for the babies to receive the best care, they would need to be in the actual unit with 24 hour care by the best doctors. Louis and Harry’s privacy would be respected, but they needed to be prepared for the reality of having newborns receiving treatment in an intensive setting. 

They also decided on a birth plan. If the doctor deemed that Louis’ or the babies’ lives were at risk, they would be delivered immediately with their consent. High risk complications would be decided by Louis and Harry. If Louis made it to 36 weeks, they would deliver then. “We're in the home stretch, Baby. I'm so proud of you! I love you so much! Even if you had them right now, Dr. Jerome said they would be in the NICU for a couple months, but they would be fine. You did it, Lou. Our son and daughter are going to be just fine.”

Louis wasn't so confident, but he hugged Harry back when he kissed the top of his head and whispered that he loved him too. When they got home that day, Louis was too tired to stay up to eat, so Harry fixed chicken and rice with green beans and his favorite rolls while he slept. He kept the food warm until Louis woke up. 

After dinner, they called everyone in the family along with Niall and Liam to give them the news. Louis fell asleep early as usual and Harry wandered up to the nursery. He sat in one of the white rocking chairs holding a small brown teddy bear. “Just a few more weeks, little ones. Then I will have everything I ever dreamed of.” He sat the bear in the crib he had pulled it from and went back downstairs to crawl into bed behind Louis, holding him and feeling their little ones kicking beneath his hand.

The next day Harry got his finalized divorce papers, delivered by his attorney. He was free of Emily for good and all was perfect in their world.

******

At each week’s appointment, Louis’ weight was increasing and the twins were doing great. Their heartbeats were always something that brought smiles to Louis’ and Harry’s faces and tears to their eyes. Sometimes Anne would go with them, but most of the time she would give them privacy. She had taken over the jobs of cooking and cleaning so that the staff members weren't around to intrude on this time that Harry and Louis had together. Only Paul was permitted to be in the inner circle at this time. Niall and Liam had visited a couple times for writing sessions, but not much was being accomplished so they decided to put it off until after the babies came. 

The two wanted to have a quiet and peaceful holiday season, their last before they became fathers. They celebrated Louis’ 30th birthday quietly, just a cake that Harry baked him, red velvet with buttercream icing, and several Skype calls with all of his family members plus Gemma and her family. Anne joined them for dinner, which Harry made Louis’ favorite pizza from scratch with healthier ingredients. It was a nice birthday and Christmas eve. They hadn't decorated because of the situation and how Louis would have wanted to be right in the middle of it. Harry did get a small tree to sit on their bedroom dresser and they traded handwritten letters to each other instead of traditional gifts. They also each wrote a letter to each of their children to give them when they were old enough to understand all of this. Both Harry and Louis cried when they read their letters. They were both filled with love, longing, pain, regret, forgiveness, hope. "Our lyrics were always so raw and honest, but this letter, Lou, this letter is a masterpiece. I love you so much." "I love you to, Hazza. So so much!" 

Mostly Harry and Louis spent quiet days tucked away in each other's arms, talking about what life would be like in their future. Louis couldn't wait to get back upstairs to their room and have the babies in their adjoining nursery. He also couldn't wait to get into that jacuzzi tub. He wishes he could do it now with all the backaches he's had. Harry was great at rubbing his back and working the kinks out, but a nice bubble bath would feel so good. 

Louis was also looking forward to being with Harry again. He just got him back and they still had a lot of missed time to make up for. Being on bedrest had meant no sex, but Louis had several dreams of Harry inside him or Harry eating him out. He would always wake up with a mess in his pants and his uterus hard from the contraction of his orgasm. It always worried him and he cried to Harry, but was always reassured that it was a natural reaction that his body was having and he couldn't control it. Harry admitted to having the same problem. He had promised Louis that he wouldn't wank himself since Louis couldn't and it wouldn't be fair. Harry was worried of course, being the natural worrier that he was, so he called Dr. Jerome and was reassured himself that Louis was just fine.

Emerald had taken to sleeping with them. While Harry curled up behind Louis with his hand protectively over their babies, the little gray cat curled up at Louis’ feet, just as protectively. Harry would always wake up several times during the night to check on Lou, and the little fluff ball would still be there. Louis would often be awake too, having a lot of discomfort while trying to get comfortable to sleep. It would seem like he would just get into a good sleep when the babies would wake him up or he would have to use the bathroom. It was leaving him exhausted.

The one good thing the came from bedrest was that it gave Louis a lot of time to examine his feelings. He knew when he was freaking out or feeling out of control that there was no way to give in to his desire to make himself sick, so he had no choice but to talk it out with Harry, who could always tell by that way he was fidgeting, how he was feeling. He also had no way to avoid eating anymore because he was so hungry so much of the time, he felt like a baby himself; sleep, eat, bathroom, repeat. And also because he knew that not eating would harm his precious son and daughter. Because of his growing belly, he had less room for food, so now he was eating more often, just smaller amounts. He told Harry how thankful he was for him, that he just listened to him talk about how much he missed his mum, especially this time of year, the anniversary of her death, and how he felt so inadequate a lot of the time. Harry didn't judge him or try to make him feel like he was wrong, he just listened and held him close. 

Anne was there to listen also. She kept her distance for the most part unless they needed her, but Louis did rely on her some like he would his own mum and she was more than willing to fill in. Their life had become a routine and it was nice to have those He loved around again. He had no idea how he had gone so long without these people in his life. They had so quickly became his life again. They rang in the new year with apple juice at 9pm because Louis was too tired to stay up any later. Harry held him as he drifted off to sleep, rubbing his hand over their kicking babies. “I have a feeling you two are going to be just like your dad. Always moving, loving footie, up to something constantly. And I wouldn't have it any other way.”

******

“Harry? Harry, wake up. Haz.” Louis’ head was pounding. It was nearly 3:30 am and he had been awake on and off for about two hours and nothing was helping. He had drank the water by the bed, switched positions, rubbed his stomach and talked to the twins, but nothing was helping, his head was hurting so bad he felt like he could pass out at any moment. “Harry, I need you to wake up. Now. Harry!” he finally yelled loud enough that Harry jumped enough that he almost fell out of the bed.

“Lou, what's wrong, Baby?”

“What's wrong is that I've been in pain for two hours. I've been crying, trying everything to make me headache go away, but it won't. Then you wouldn't wake up and I had to tell at you and now my head hurts even worse. Harry, I feel like I'm about to pass out.”

“Ok, Baby. Let me call Dr. Jerome. Just hold on for me, ok? Roll over on your left side like he said.” Harry sat beside him, phone in one hand, the other running through Louis’ hair. As he explained what was going on, Louis’ cries got louder. The doctor had Harry ask him about the babies’ movements. 

Louis paused for a minute before he started crying even harder, “Harry, they aren't moving. I don't remember when I felt them last. I was so focused on this damn headache that I never even noticed that they weren't moving! What kind of a parent am I?”

“Shhh...Baby, it's ok. You aren't feeling well. Let me talk to Dr. Jerome. You rest.” He turned back to the phone, but the doctor was already talking. 

“Harry, listen carefully. You need to get Louis to the hospital as quickly as possible, ok? I believe his headache is because his blood pressure is rising. If the twins’ movements have slowed down, they may be in distress, which also means it's progressed to where Louis is in danger.” He could sense Harry's panicked breathing. “Harry, I need you to stay calm. Louis needs you, ok. Just be calm, keep him calm, and meet me there quick, ok?”

“Yeah, as soon as we can.” He disconnected without another word. “Lou, Dr. Jerome wants to check you out since the headache is so bad. He said not to worry though, yeah? I'm just going to call Mum and Paul. That way I can focus on you. Paul can drive and Mum can do the paperwork. Ok? Let's get you up while I call.”

Ten minutes later they were on their way, breaking most traffic laws to get there in record time. Anne sat up front with Paul exchanging worried looks with Harry in the mirror. Harry kept running one hand gently through Louis’ hair while the other rested over his stomach, trying to will his babies to move. He leaned down and kissed Louis’ cheek and tell him how much he loved him and that he was doing such a good job. He promised him that they were all going to be fine. Then he closed his eyes and prayed that he was right.

******

“Ok, gentlemen, Louis, your blood pressure is 162/112. That's way too high. Your heart isn't pumping properly which is limiting the amount of oxygen that the babies are getting. Their heart rates are gradually dropping. We need to deliver right now, ok? I'm asking your permission, but I'm letting you know that if we don't do this now, we could lose Louis, the babies, or all three. Time isn't on your side here.”

“Of course we do it now. What do I need to do? Do I have to sign something?”

“No, but if you don't want to miss the birth of your children, you better follow this nurse now. We're going to take Louis to prep him.”

“Ok. I love you, Lou. I'll see you in a minute, Love.” Harry said as Louis was wheeled down the corridor and he was led to a different room. He asked the nurse to make sure to find his mum to let her know. Then he was being led into a cold white room where Louis was waiting, looking scared and so tired. Harry immediately reached out for him. “It's ok, Baby. We're gonna do this. You're gonna do this. We are going to meet our son and daughter today. I love you so much, Lou. I wouldn't want to be doing this with anyone else. Thank you.”

“No, Harry, thank you, Love. I'm sorry I couldn't hold off any longer. I tried. I really did.”

“Baby, you did great. You've been perfect through this. No matter what was thrown at you, you just went with it. These babies are here because of you. Now you just relax. They are putting the medicine in your IV now. I'm right here.”

“Louis, we are going to try to keep you awake long enough to see the babies. But we need to stabilize your blood pressure as soon as we can. Harry will be right here with the babies. They will be fine, ok?” As Dr. Jerome explained what was happening, Harry leaned down to kiss Louis and reassure him that he would be with their son and daughter until Louis could be there himself. 

As Louis started to drift in and out of consciousness, the doctor started working behind the screen that had been placed over Louis chest. It wasn't more than two minutes until Harry heard the tiny cries. Louis blinked up at him. Harry peeked over the screen just as the doctor held out their son to him. A very tiny, wiggling, crying beautiful baby boy. “Welcome to the world, Charlie,” Louis rasped out in a shaky voice as Harry held the baby boy down for Louis to kiss. Harry kissed him quickly before a nurse whisked him away to be assessed. By then, another tiny wail was echoing her brother's. “I'm falling asleep, Harry. Let me see her, please,” he begged. The baby was passed to Harry who held her down to Louis, who kissed her and whispered, “I love you, Annie Jo. Happy birthday,” right before he passed out.

“Harry, I need you to go stand with the teams working on your babies. They are fine, just tiny. Let me do my job here and take care of Louis, ok? You need to get out of the way.” Harry looked down to where he had grabbed Louis’ hand. As the tears continued to roll down his cheeks, he kissed the top of Louis’ head and went over to check on their children.

******

Harry was sat slumped down in the chair by Louis’ bed. He had just left the NICU because they kicked him out so the doctors could finish up with the babies. His mum and Paul were patiently waiting to catch a glimpse of the babies. Anne had already called all of the family and friends. Everyone was just waiting on pictures and updates on the babies and Louis.

“Hey, Baby. You did good. Perfect really. Charlie Jax weighs three pounds even and was born at 5:01am. Annie Jo came along at 5:03, weighing three pounds six ounces. January 5th is their birthday in case you didn't know the day. I can already tell they are going to act like you. Mouthy little fighters. They haven't stopped crying yet. Especially Annie, she's so overly dramatic. I can already see it with her from just a few minutes of interaction with the doctors. Seriously though, they are breathing on their own and I heard the nurse say Annie’s sucking reflex was good, so she should be able to bottle feed right away. They hadn't checked Charlie yet before they kicked me out. I need to get back in there. I need to see them. And I have to take pictures so you can see them when you wake up. They are beautiful, Lou. Annie has a head full of dark hair. Charlie has some light brown fuzz. I can't wait for you to see them. I just love you so much, Lou. Dr. Jerome said you are ok, but you may sleep for awhile. I just don't want you to miss any of this. It's our babies’ birthday.”

“How can I miss any of it with you giving me play by play, Curly?”

“Oh Lou! Oh my God! How do you feel, Baby?”

“Horrible, physically. Was woke up by some bloke blabbering on about babies,” But then he grinned, “But I'm so excited to meet our children. When can I see them?”

“I'm not sure. Let me go ask.”

Louis going to see the babies was a no go. Doctor's orders. His blood pressure wasn't stable yet. So Harry went back to the NICU and took lots of pictures. He was assured by the pediatrician that they were doing great. They were breathing on their own and Harry would be feeding them in just a few moments. He said many 33 week preemies leave within two to three weeks. Harry couldn't wait to go tell Louis. He turned around at a familiar cough. “Lou! You're going to get us in trouble. You aren't supposed to be out of bed.”

“Relax, Love. I'm the one who broke him out. But I managed to get permission first. He has to stay in the chair and get right back to bed.”

“But I was going to see my babies one way or another! So let me in there.”

The nurses ended up letting Harry and Louis do some skin to skin contact time with the babies. Then they switched and each fed one about an ounce of formula. By the time that was done, Louis was ready to go back to sleep. Harry sent off a few quick texts with photos to Niall and Liam with the rest of the family. Then he crawled in bed with Louis and they fell asleep. He learned quickly that these nurses didn't care who he was, they didn't intend to allow him to sleep in the bed like they did at Los Robles. So he plopped himself in the chair beside him and held his hand. Both relieved that their children were here in the world safely, but still worried until they knew they were completely healthy.

******

It was a long two and a half weeks. The babies did great. Charlie gave them a scare at one point when Louis was feeding him and he started choking. Louis worried that he had done something wrong. He was assured that it was a small blockage that worked itself out quickly. He was monitored for two extra days and had several tests. No surgery was needed. They were both gaining weight. On January 25th, one day before their three week birthday, they were released from the hospital. Annie now weighed four pounds nine ounces, Charlie was four pounds six ounces. 

Louis had been released the week before, after his blood pressure had returned to normal and he was determined to be healthy enough to help with the babies. They had decided to get a hotel room close to the hospital and take turns resting and sitting with the children. Anne also helped, insisting that they both sleep at times while she stayed at the hospital. Paul drove them back and forth. They had a good schedule but were so glad to finally be able to say goodbye to the staff of the NICU. 

Louis sat in the back with the babies on the way home while Harry was turned around from the front seat most of the way, fussing over all three of them. The homecoming was nice. Niall and Liam had hung banners and streamers welcoming the little ones home and wishing Harry a happy birthday. They would miss celebrating his 28th birthday in exactly one week, opting to spend the first month secluded in their home with no visitors except family until they found a routine that worked for them.

It didn't take long. There were many sleepless nights, lots of tears from both the babies and the fathers, but they were finally settled into their home, happily, with their son and daughter. They took turns bouncing, rocking, singing, and dancing with their tiniest fans. They both quieted down immediately to either one of their fathers' voices singing a sweet lullaby. They also took turns feeding and changing them. Even on their crankiest days, Annie and Charlie were the best babies. “I love you, Haz. I love us, our family, our life. Thank you for letting me walk back in. I don't know what I'd do without you three.” Harry’s arms were around his waist and his chin tucked over his shoulder. They were standing beside the crib that they allowed their children to share, watching them cuddle up to each other. 

Harry whispered in his ear, “thank you for coming back. My life wouldn't be complete without you. I've loved you as long as I can remember and I'll never stop.”

******

(Six months later)

The wedding was held at sunset on the private beach on their property. Lottie and Gemma stood up for them with Liam and Niall. Daisy and Phoebe each walked down the aisle carrying one of the babies. Fizzy read a letter written to Louis from Johanna before she died. Doris and Ernie were a very well behaved ring bearer and flower girl. And Anne stood with both harry and Louis to show a mother's love. It was the perfect wedding day.

******

“Lou, come back to bed, Love. I miss you.”

“Oh you do, Mr. Tomlinson-Styles? I was just going to Skype Lottie to check on Annie and Charlie.”

“Lou, it's 3am there. I think Lots would kill you.”

“Oh yeah. Guess we should wait.” He mumbled as he crawled back into bed beside Harry. “I just miss them. And I wanted to see how crazy the fans were going after reading about our wedding. How Larry Stylinson is finally out.”

“I know, Baby, me too. But we're here to celebrate us. We have a lifetime with the kids. Bursting into the room while I'm buried deep inside you, having to hurry and grab the blankets and stay frustrated all day,” he wrapped his arms around Louis and pulled him down to him kissing his neck. “Interrupting our showers and blow jobs by needing help brushing their teeth in our bathroom because it has cooler sinks,” he nibbled his ear. “Developing a fever just when we were about to head out to date night and leave them with Liam and Sophia for the night,” his hand wandered down Louis’ body to pull his bum to him and grind upwards on him. “Having to be quiet when we do get to make love so we don't wake them up,” his hand moved to Louis’ chest and he pinched a nipple. ”Don't you think we should take advantage of this now, So that I can make you scream my name with no kids to worry about for a week? Celebrate with my husband the proper way, with my tongue in his arse until he can't take it anymore and is begging me to let him come?” His mouth attacked Louis’ in a violent clash of tongues and teeth that had them both hard and panting within minutes.

“Say it again,” whispered Louis.

“My husband,” smiled Harry as Louis started yanking his joggers off. He pushed the blankets off the bed, straddled Harry's waist and leaned down, kissing him hard. The kiss broke as Harry started kissing his way down Louis’ neck and collar bones, grabbing his firm ass and pushing it down as he pushed himself up to meet him. “Want you so bad,” He panted.

“I'm all yours, Hazza, all yours. Forever.” Harry flipped them over, pushed Louis’ legs up and used the tip of his tongue to tease his cock. Just swirling it around and licking it with little kitten licks. As Louis grabbed his head, Harry obliged, and took the whole thing down his throat, all the way until his lips were touching the light peach fuzz at the base. Louis thrust up instinctively, knowing Harry loved having his throat fucked. Harry bobbed his head up and down to meet Louis’ thrusts until he had him on the verge of coming. Then he pulled off with a pop. As their eyes met, Harry flipped Louis over and spread him out in front of him. Wasting no time, he held his cheeks apart and used his tongue to start licking broad stripes across his tight pink hole. Louis moaned as he grabbed the sheets. “Yeah, Baby, You know how I like it. Give me your tongue, please give it to me,” he begged.

“Like this,” Harry’s words vibrated against Louis’ arse, “want my tongue like this,” he said as he pushed the tip past the muscle. Harry's tongue was buried deep in Louis’ hole, flicking in and out, the tips of his thumbs joining them. 

“Harry, Harry please. Want you.”

“What do you want, Baby? Want me inside you? Want me to fuck you?”

“God yes, Hazza. Please. Now. Can't wait. Gonna come if you keep this up.”

“How do you want me, Baby?”

“Go sit in the chair in front of the mirror. Wanna ride you.” As Harry sat in the chair facing the mirror, Louis stood in front of him. He was still pretty open from last night, so he only spread a little bit of lube on his fingers and worked himself open quickly while Harry watched. Harry started to reach for his own dick to give it a stroke for some relief, but Louis told him no. He quickly turned around and backed onto Harry's cock, sinking all the way down in one motion. Harry gripped his waist and moaned. Louis leaned back and kissed Harry's neck, “look in the mirror, Baby, want you to watch us. Watch me ride you. Watch your cock as it goes in and out of me bum. Like that?” He asked when Harry whimpered and but Louis’ neck. 

“God Lou, you drive me crazy.” He held onto Louis’ waist and fucked up into him as their eyes met in the mirror. Harry’s hands running up and down Louis’s body, stopping to pinch both nipples. Louis hands wound back behind Harry's neck, pulling him forward for a kiss. When Louis’ hand started reaching for his own dick, Harry swatted out away.

“Gonna come for me like this, Lou. Fucking you here and you watching it. He leaned him back just a little until he was hitting his prostate dead on. Louis cried out and held into the arms of the chair. They were both slicked in sweat, the sounds of skin on skin and heavy breathing with whispered encouragements to each other heard in the room, mingled in the room with the sound of crashing waves coming through the window. “Lou, I'm close. I'm Gonna fill you up, gonna come for you. Lou, I'm gonna come. Show me you can do it. Come for me, Baby. Untouched. Fell me inside you? Feel me hitting that spot?”

“God Harry, I'm gonna… I'm there, I'm…” thick white hot ribbons of come shot up his chest just as Harry came deep inside of him. They stilled as they both clenched and pulsed, coming down from their highs. Harry wrapped his arms around Louis and stood, picking him up and carrying him bridal style to their huge private outdoor jacuzzi. They settled in with chilled champagne, kissing slow and lazy. 

“No matter how many kids we have, Lou. No matter where we go, this is how it's always going to be with us.”

And it was. Through the band’s recording sessions with babies in the next room with a nanny. Through the album promo tour and their reunion world tour that broke records and life on the road with a huge group of families and children. Through two more children and retirement from the public spotlight as they settled down to work as songwriters with Liam and Niall. Through watching Liam and Niall’s families grow. Through watching their own siblings families grow. Their life stayed exciting, fresh, and full of love and laughter. This is what they had planned from the beginning, years ago when they first fell in love. They may have lost track of that love for a while, but never again. This was it, this was their forever.


End file.
